Fear of the Unknown - To SO's

[Loretta Ann]

Josey.

After further processing of the information graciously provided by Kay, I am left with the belief that it would not be possible for a woman to provide anything that would equal or surpass what spending time in women's clothing provides for me.

In other words what I am saying here is that I don't believe anything that this world has to offer could cause me to feel more loved, cherished, and special than I do while engaged in the activity of cross-dressing. If it is possible for a woman to equal or surpass that, I will give up my cross-dressing gladly with out any regret. That and only that would be the cure.

Further after understanding this information I am scared to use it. Now that I understand what it takes for a woman to feel loved. It would be very easy to attract someone who is starving for love, yet has no clue to what a man needs are.

Now who was it that told me life was going to be easy?

[Kay(SO)]

That's the last thing life is Darlene! Heh, heh! I'm glad that we had this thread going. It makes us all think and contemplate. It also helps us to understand each other better and that's always a positive!

Josey, great post too! You are right about people not voicing their needs and yes, many women expect their male partner to "mind read". I think it's a girl thing. We do it all the time, or at least I know I used to. I used to have this expectation that he should anticipate my every need. Yea right! When donkeys fly. Anyway, if we want our needs met than we have to state them, clearly and openly. Other wise we're left to fend for ourselves or end up resenting someone unfairly because of our own realistic expectations. Whew.

Kay

[Love (SO)]

Hi, Josey,

I agree with what the other SO's have said, but would also just like to add something (and this is just how I feel at times)

Sometimes when my husband asks me if something is wrong and I say "nothing" it is because I have told him (it seems like) a thousand times before. What is the point of saying it once again. We as women are considered "nagging" or even worse "bit**ing", if we say things over and over to our DH's. If that same thing (whatever it may be) botherd me before, it still bothers me now too (not meaning CDing, just "something" in general). Say if I have asked him to put the toilet seat down (this is just a for instance), and he keeps leaving the seat up, after a while I won't bother to say what the problem is, and that it bothers me. And when I ask him to put the toilet seat down, and I mean all the toilet seats in the house, all the time. (he does put them down )

I guess what I mean is, sometimes I feel that I am not heard, he may hear my words that I am saying, but I think that he doesn't always understand what I am saying. I just want to really be heard by him, and I do sometimes keep talking to him until he "gets it", sometimes, it's just not worth it (the arguing over it)

Love (SO)

[Josey]

Hello Love (SO),

First, let me say that we all are trainable when it comes to toilet seats. My wife trained me so well that I still, after three years, put the seat down. In fact, when I have a friend stop by who doesn't put it down, it annoys me. Now, that's well trained!!

I do understand what you are saying about hearing but not "hearing". I have been guilty of this many times and, yes, it did annoy my wife. It did until I pointed out that she often did the same thing to me. I very calmly showed her when she did it and asked if she thought that my feelings were not important, an accusation she had made to me about her feelings. She realized what I was saying. Her feelings were very important to me. Unfortunately, the human mind sets priorities on it's own and at any given time, that priority may just not happen to be the last thing your mate said to you. Perhaps it should be, but it isn't. Since you react to whatever your mind tells you is a priority, your actions or words don't always reflect what is important to your mate. When your mate tells you that "nothing is wrong", that doesn't bring the targeted subject to the foreground so the problem, unless you're lucky enough to guess it, continues to exist. This, of course, does not bring two people closer together. It is my opinion, male based as it is, that it would be better to swallow pride or whatever causes this problem to exist, and repeat the feelings or desires a thousand times. That maybe annoying but it is a lot better than creating a split relationship.

"nuff said. Please give me a little room while I step down. soap I thank you for your attention to my presentation!

Actually, I know I am sticking my two cents into others business and don't even have an SO myself. I just know that, with my wife, I had the most wonderful of relationships, even in the face of CD problems and every other problem that other couples have. OK, maybe not every other problem. Still, if I could ever help just one other couple experience the extreme happiness that we felt with each other, I would feel I had really accomplished something.

Thanks for listening. I hope I helped.