How I know I'm not transsexual

[Elizabeth]

Zippy, may I suggest you google "Autogynephilia". This is a controversial term first introduced by a Dr. Blanchard to describe why so many late blooming male to female transsexuals are heterosexual and only want to maintain or pursue a relationship with genetic women. This is in contrast to other male to female transsexuals who are homosexual and only want to pursure a relationship with straight men.

In essence Blanchard's theory is that autogynephilic men love women so much that they eventually want to become women. I have come to believe the description more or less fits my situation.

Charlotte,

Autogynephillia has been discredited, as well as Blanchard's extremely biased research, that basically set out to prove what he beleived, as opposed to observing and reporting what is observed.

http://www.genderpsychology.org/autogyn ... index.html

Autogynephilia & Ray Blanchard's Mis-Directed Sex-Drive Model of Transsexuality:


Here is a very good critique of his work, by a Psycholgist, that also happens to be transsexual. You may find it most enlightening. It really bugs me to see so many people quoting this work, when it has been discredited for it's failure to use the scienfic method and its clear bias.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Charlotte]

Hi Elizabeth: Thank you for your comments.

Yes, I am aware of the controversy regarding Blanchard's theory, but the guy does have his supporters such as Dr. Ann Lawrence and others. As you are probably aware Dr. Lawrence is transsexual and a longtime supporter and advocate of/for the transsexual community, but she has also been villified for her similar views.

As far as I'm concerned my mind is open. I am still attempting to rationalize in my head how and why so called normal heterosexual male crossdressers suddenly run into a brick wall and their transsexuality becomes full blown. My unanswered question is, what if anything triggers that event or is it simply like an old balloon filled with too much air suddenly popping. The science into the condition is far from complete.

I enjoy reading your well presented messages.

Love

Charlotte

[Kathy]

How do I know I am not TS? I have no real explanation, I just know, instinctively, that I'm not.

Have I always known this? I can't say for sure. Until I learned to stop letting others define who/what I should be and allow myself to trust my own being, I could not have recognized that knowledge if it was there.

I think, all too often, we allow ourselves to be defined by the perceptions of others and, thus, don't listen to our own voices telling us what we know, deep down, to be true.

When I visited a psychologist, some years ago, for help with a problem I was having at the time, he didn't give me any of the answers I was seeking. What he did do was help me to listen to my own voice which allowed me to find my own answers and recognize the truth, for me, of those answers. This didn't happen overnight and it was not an easy thing for me to do, but I did eventually find my answers and and it was like the sunshine following a storm.

Since then, I have worked hard to listen to my own voice and not be swayed by the people around me.

As long as we continue to live in a society where people thrive on telling others how they should think/act/feel, many of us will struggle to find their answer to this question.

I hope that some of you will find, and listen to, your own inner voice.

"If you need to ask the question, you are not yet ready to know the answer." --- Unknown source

[KathyB]

Zippy, may I suggest you google "Autogynephilia". This is a controversial term first introduced by a Dr. Blanchard to describe why so many late blooming male to female transsexuals are heterosexual and only want to maintain or pursue a relationship with genetic women. This is in contrast to other male to female transsexuals who are homosexual and only want to pursure a relationship with straight men.

In essence Blanchard's theory is that autogynephilic men love women so much that they eventually want to become women. I have come to believe the description more or less fits my situation.

Charlotte:Thanks for suggesting it. I first read the theory of autogynephilia on Anne Lawrence's web site several years ago. At that time, it made a lot of sense with regards to my personal psychology. It made me think back to elementary school, when I had few male friends, but many female friends. I believe there was quite a bit of controversy when this theory was first introduced (and if I recall correctly, Dr. Blanchard was considered controversial for other reasons as well.) The only area where it doesn't apply to me is that I wanted to grow up to be a woman since I was seven years old. It wasn't that I loved women so much, I always wanted to be and dress as one.

[Elizabeth]

Hi Elizabeth: Thank you for your comments.

.... I am still attempting to rationalize in my head how and why so called normal heterosexual male crossdressers suddenly run into a brick wall and their transsexuality becomes full blown. My unanswered question is, what if anything triggers that event or is it simply like an old balloon filled with too much air suddenly popping. The science into the condition is far from complete.

I enjoy reading your well presented messages.

Love

Charlotte

Normal heterosexual crossdressers do not become transsexuals. They were always transsexuals who are either deliberately suppressing their transsexuality and coping with the gender dysphoria by dressing or underdressing or they subconciously denied it or some combination of both.

Crossdressers like thier natel gender, transsexuals do not. In my case I suppressed and denied I was transsexual because I did not see anyway I could cope as a transsexual living in the open. Eventually the dysphoria worsens and underdressing or crossdressing will not satisfy the conditions to keep the dysphoria under control. At this point we see depression and suicidal thoughts or attempts.

This is the point where it looks like a crossdresser has become a transsexual, but in reality the person was always a transsexual.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Lori]

Zippy

I am glad that someone else feels like me......I would love to have breast, however, I like who I am, confused and all, and would not want to ruin what I have, wounderful wife and great kids.......I guess I cand dream and continue to pretend that I have breasts and can be femme when I am able.

Lori

[Jan W]

Dear Zippy,

Please know that this post is only my opinion based on my own experiences. If they conflict with your observations I am happy to listen and be corrected.

I feel strongly about the topic you have raised as it is something about which I have done much pondering.

You have succinctly worded the whole issue in one excellent sentence.

The difference between wanting to and actually being a woman is I think THE defining criterea for whether we are CDrs or are in fact TS.

I know transitioned women who are about as feminine as big John Wayne and when I have socialised with them I cannot help but wonder what were they thinking? Unfortunately they do not seem to be terribly happy.

However I have known little boys who absolutely identified as girls from an an early age and for all intents and purposes were girls but living in a boys body. They never married girls, drove racing cars or motorbikes became engineers or fathers. These women once surgically and hormonely corrected seem happy and content.

Charlotte's advice re researching autogynephillia is most valid.

Please remember that these thoughts are just my own in no way are meant to hurt or upset others.

Best wishes,


Jan

[KathyB]

Lori, Jan W, Elizabeth: Thank you for continuing this thread. I would never be offended by anyone's different viewpoint on this matter. We're all individuals with our own bodies, mentalities, psyches, wants, desires, and dreams. Openly sharing them with each other is what makes us friends, whether we agree or disagree.

Despite my avatar, I'm not anywhere near as cute or sexy as Alyson Hannigan. I went to the doctor for my annual physical yesterday. I originally chose this doctor because she treats TG/TS patients, prescribing hormones if desired. I was definitely en drab, but underdressed with a pair of black nylon Vanity Fair Ravissant full brief panties. Imagine my surprise when I was greeted by the Nurse Practitioner for my appointment, rather than the doctor.

Fortunately, the NP is a wonderful woman and didn't blink an eye when I lowered my pants for the prostate exam. I've had BPE/BPH (enlarged prostate) for years, but only began experiencing negative symptoms in the last year. I asked her about anti-androgens to relieve the enlarged prostate as well as the cystic acne that has bothered me since puberty. I walked out with a prescription for Aldactone (spironolactone) and several weeks worth of Avodart (dutasteride) samples. These drugs suppress both testosterone (T) and di-hydro-testosterone (DHT). I did not specifically ask for estrogen, but may do so in the months to come.

My SO asked about what drugs and prescriptions I got from the doctor, because she knows I could get a prescription for hormones if I really wanted to. I told her to check out the goodie bag from the doctor, but didn't focus on her estrogen concern. When an opportunity arose a few hours later, I asked why she was concerned about hormones. She said she just didn't want me taking them without her knowing. She didn't want me to hide it. I think that was a huge admission on her part. She was being reasonable and rational about it, which is definitely not her normal style. I see this as a huge 'baby step' for us.

[Lori]

Zippy

She's a keeper.....now you know for sure that you are not alone and have someone to talk to


Lori

[Lydia]

Hi Zippy,

Expect some breast enlargement. I have been taking spironolactone and proscar (similar to avodart) for about a year, and have noticed a definite breast growth. I am up to a cup size AA now, and that is probably as much as it will go. The boobs (or booblets) are as yet not noticable when in drab, but most enjoyable otherwise. I should add that it is not easy to find bras size 40 AA. Not all side effects are so appropriate.

Have fun,

Lydia

[Virginia]

Ladies, I do not and will not accept being accused of taking anyone to task for expressing their opinions --------- just as I do not wish to be hauled to the wood shed for this, as it is just this girl's observation!
We do not want to place ourselves in the postion of categorizing each other, even indirectly. We have had this discussion many times here about "labeling" things, each other, items we may not understand, etc.
Just as there is, as I think most of us would agree that there is a continuum that we all find ourselves. Some of us are moving from one place to another on the continuum seeking whatever we are seeking while others are content to be static and yet some of our sisters are or have moved completely off the continuum to take the ultimate step of transition.
I will further propose that we and let alone science DO NOT understand "us!" We virtually all agree that we are "born (with this gift - my words) and it does not ever go away."
To be brutally honest and it is only this girl's opinion mind you; there are only a few of us on this forum who, based on my interpretation of what they have expressed over the years that feel about themselves the way that I do and I may be wrong, but I don't think so.
I am a crossdresser! BUT I --- I, ME, Virginia, I am more than that, I am in my own definition a NOTS! A non-Operative Transexual. I lean more toward Virginia, and her feminine characteristics, but she loves the male aspect of her existence as well and she has found "balance" in the two, so I am NOT one OR the other!!! Virginia holds sway over the male essence of my exisitence and I love it because it allows me to interact with people in a manner that is gentler, kinder, alas can I say, more feminine? However, the male aspect is there and as it was written in my high school year book my senior year - "It is not good to wake a sleeping lion!"
Some of us may not wish to find the "balance" between the two, others may wish that the unbalance sway to one side or the other and any aspect of that is acceptable, we are not to judge! I think our strength lies in the meer acceptance that we recognize that we have a "gift" then what we do with that gift is left up to us. Understanding it, using it, sharing it, growing in it, loving it, nurishing it, after we recognize it (that yes, we are different)and AGAIN it is up to the individual how they choose to "deal with it!"
love, respect and hope to you all, I love you!
Virginia

[Anita]

...there's a huge difference between wanting to be a woman and knowing you are a woman despite your birth sex.

Many good posts in this thread!

At a TG support meeting the other night, I touched on this issue. Most of the members of that group are living fulltime. What I told them was that being a woman, for me, was like acquiring a new and different set of tools to use. I get rewards from having access to this new "tool box."

However--I am not necessarily going to get more rewards by totally switching over to that toolbox, and swearing off of the other tools that I already have. In other words, the positive feelings I get from this are a supplement to what I already have, and not a total replacement. I do not dislike what is already 'there,' although my male life does have limitations that I'm very aware of now.

As to the autogynephilia theory; I think it is a valid assumption, for some of us. To generalize it as a motivating factor for a majority of us has never made sense to me, and I can understand why it would make people angry.