Androgyny Sexy to Women?

[RikkiOfLA]

A recent poll (don't know who dreams these things up!) that I read announced that the women polled found Johnny Depp to be the sexiest man alive. This is probably due in large measure to the part he played in "Pirates of the Caribbean"--swashbuckling pirate, earrings, long hair, ruffled shirt, long boots, and so on. A lot of androgyny in that!

So I thought it might be interesting to find out if the GGs here found androgyny sexy in a man. Any comments, ladies?

It would also be interesting to hear if crossdressers have any interesting stories about this. After all, crossdressers have a natural headstart in the androgyny department. We're likely to have the gear necessary (we seem to have a complete costume department in our closets! )
And, if we can tone our crossdressing down just a little, we have androgyny made in the shade.

My wife seems to find androgyny sexy. I say seems, because she doesn't talk about this at all, so it's hard to know whether she likes it (and is perhaps embarrassed or confused by her desire) or she just tolerates it because she likes to see me less inhibited. Maybe she's trying to accept my crossdressing this way? But it seems to work just fine for us, in the bedroom and out.

So I'd love to hear others' experiences in this regard.

[CJ]

Hi Rikki,

I've met quite a few women in my own life who seem to not only like androgyny but actually prefer it. However, they're attracted by an androgynous mind (or soul or whatever) rather than merely by an androgynous look or appearance. In other words, they seem to favour males who exhibit feminine psychological and affective traits, whether or not their appearance is masculine, feminine, or a tweaked mixture of both.

Johnny Depp androgynous? Yep, could be, could be.



Love,
CJ

[RikkiOfLA]

Dear CJ,

What a beautiful and sensitive response, from someone who is beautiful both outside and in!

Women are, I must confess, infinitely wiser than men, to look for the real beauty in the soul, rather than just the beauty of the skin which fades.

One of the best things about crossdressing is that once I accepted this side of myself, I stopped projecting onto women my desires for physical beauty (desires that I came to realize, I wanted to try to express myself).

As a result I too came to see the inner beauty in other people, especially my lovely wife who now looks more beautiful to me than ever. It's not skin beauty--she's 25 years older than when we married, has put on a few pounds and so on. So have I.

Of course when I look at pictures of her from back then, I see both the inner and outer beauty and I know that marrying her was the smartest thing I ever did. And indeed it was!

By the way, CJ, I just know somebody very smart is going to grab you up, for both your inner and outer beauty. That is, of course, assuming you want to be grabbed up. And if you don't, they're going to try.

[Gaven McLaren]

Bravo for another great topic. Rikki as far as I have noticed ladies are fed up with the macho man act that most men portray. My girlfriends (GG) most of them I have noticed are with men who while not even a little fem though not "manly". Sadly no one for me yet though I am not in a hurry to get in a relationship with any body. When the right person comes along I will know.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Rikki, thanks for your incredibly caring comments. Reading your reply was like getting a booster shot! I sorely needed it, girl. I think I'm gradually getting back into a dating frame of mind, thanks in no small part to all the wonderful people on this forum who've been willing to share with us the joys and pleasures (and, yes, the ups and downs) of their own relationships. A heart can stay broken only so long, I think. Now, it's just a matter of trying to figure out where some of these androgyny-loving women are hiding in this city.

Gaven, I do hope you find your love, by and by. Love is a strange thing; it's not that some Other fills a void in our soul, it's that our giving an Other some of our love makes us fuller and more complete, I think. I try to remain patient, caring, alert, and open to the possibilities. I'll find love one day, I'm sure, just as love will find you.

Christina

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

Androgynous people sexy?????

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!

What fun is it if you try to mold yourself into a category?

Why not create your own?

But I'm willing to bet most of you knew I'd say that .................

[Alexandra]

Lefty, I'm finding what you're saying to be true. It also explains why my SO asked me to stop cutting my hair many a year ago.

[CJ]

The thing I find difficult (and not a little bit quirky) about androgyny as far as it applies to me is that it's a matter of self, not just presentation of self. What I mean is, I tend to think and feel in a somewhat genderless way without necessarily projecting an androgynous image. I don't become a different person when I wear silkies and frillies. I remain who I am. The hard part is this: people have to get to know me to notice how androgyny operates in my own life; those women that might be attracted to this in a man may just be passing me by for lack of getting to know me better and, of course, for lack of my getting to know them better.

I've been single for a couple of years now. And it's beginning to smart a little bit. Oh, I've been given plenty of advice (go to fetish parties, put yourself out there, mingle, use the Internet, advertize, etc., etc.) but none of it seems to suit my more introspective nature. I've now come to question my own ability at showing others who I truly am--in a flash. For me, androgyny has little to do with my looks and a lot more with my soul, my heart, my mind--aspects not knowable in under five hours on a Saturday night.

I could hang out crossdressed, but it just wouldn't be me (any more than hanging out in boy mode is me, I guess). I could "androginize" (not feminize) my appearance. To some small extent, I do--and some people do pick up on it, just not the people I wish would.

In the end, my GFs have always been friends first; they'd known me well (including my gender variance) before our ever getting together. However, hooking up with an SO from within your pool of friends has its problems, not the least of which is the fact that everyone knows everyone else. Oh, what a tangled web we weave!

Anyway, I'm far off the path, here. The issue is androgyny. Yes, you've answered some questions, Rebecca, and, again, I'm grateful. One question remains, though: how do GGs go about "signaling" their interest in CDs or TVs when they know you little? I stay alert for cues, but fail to see or hear them.

I've just re-read all this and I'm thinking: Of course, it could be that I'm just bad at dating!

Love,
CJ

[Tammy(SO)]

All I can say is thanks for that Johnny Pic. Yum yum!

[Robyn Katie]

Judging by my SO Alee's remarks, she has found androgynous personalities and looks particularly fascinating.

Johnny Depp is an example, but preeminent is the remarkable Katherine Moennig, who plays Shane on The L Word.

Wow (for both of us). There are moments in which you feel Katherine is definitely a woman. Then she'll turn on a dime, and you say to yourself, That has got to be a guy playing a woman.

In fact she is a GG. But she has command of both.

Love, Robyn Katie

[CJ]

Yep. Agreed.

[Georgia(SO)]

Do I find androgyny sexy? Hmmm. never really thought about it.

I like Johnny Depps's eyes. Androgyny? Probably not. I'm an absolute sucker for men with deep soulful brown eyes.

I like men with long hair. Androgenous? I dunno - buzz cuts and Young Republican/Hedge Fund Mgr looks make me nervous... But I like my long-haired men with a good moustache and about a 10-day beard.

I like men who are confident enough to wear to wear pink. Not that I like the color pink - on them, or on me. I like men that are *confident* enough to wear pink.

There's nothing sexier than a man wearing jeans and bare feet. Yum.

Macho attitudes make me uncomfortable. So does excessive girly-ness - in either men or women.

Dunno if this helps... but you asked...

-georgia(so)

[Curly(SO)]

Gratuitous pic of Johnny Depp...Mmm yummy




Androgyny can make a person appealing, certainly, not just looks, but character...it makes for quite a balanced persona.

Love,
Curly

[CJ]

Hmmm... You'd think that, given that he's a millionaire, Mr. Depp would be able to buy himself a new shirt. Or was this photo taken after the Wall St. bust?

CJ

[Kimburly]

It looks like a case of shave it and show it!