Crossdressers-Haven.com

Ladies,
those of you who have SO's who have seen you "dressed," If you have not asked them or if you know, please respond to this question if you can.
Before your SO's ever saw you "dressed" but knew that you were a crossdresser have they ever expressed themselves as to how they imagined that you must have looked? I know that every SO's when told must have immediately formulated a mental image of what you must look like dressed as a woman. Have any of them told you what they imagined and were they surprised by the actual presentation, happy, elated, disappointed, critical, ----whatever. If you have never broached this with them please ask them what they thought you must have looked like before they actually saw you. This can extend to anyone else as well, sister, brother, parent. All must have had some initial image of what they thought you would look like.
Thanks for your input,
Love,
Virginia

Virginia,

Well, When I first found out my husband and I were not even dating yet. We were merely friends and collegues. I don't recall having a mental image of what he might look like but, what I did do was tell him that I wanted and needed to see him dressed.

So, we planned an evening at a hotel suite. I helped with his transformation by putting on his makeup, etc... and we talked and talked and talked during this whole process. When he went to put on his undergarments, I went outside on the patio and smoked a cigarette and I hadn't smoked in 12 years! I'm not sure whose idea it was but neither of us was ready for me to see that part of the dressing. I went so far as to bring a dress I thought he might like that he had seen me in at work. It was a leopard print wrap dress and he was delighted. For me, because he kept talking to me, I was able to realize that it was still him underneath all of the stuff. This made it easier for me to handle everything. We actually had a rather emotionally (okay and physically) intimate evening and ended up eating Whoppers at midnight. It is one of the best memories related to Cding that we both have. We became closer than ever.

Now should I mention that the next day I completely wigged out? Well, it's true. The reality of it all hit me and I wasn't sure if I wanted to get involved if this was going to be an all the time thing. I should also mention here that I was a single mother, raising 4 year-old twin daughters at the time, going to college fulltime, doing and internship and working.

Needles to say, we've been together nearly 7 years and our 4 year wedding anniversary is next month. Whew. Oh yea, and it was weird seeing him enfemme but I really had no expectations. When I say weird I mean unusual for me. After all, I'd seen the guy at work everyday in a white dress shirt, tie and dockers. Memories like this one make me want to embrace him, so thanks for indulging my thoughts and provoking them as well.

Kay(SO)

Virginia

The very first time I met Elandra she was not totally done up, meaning she was only wearing a bra which she had stuffed with a water filled condoms, a white tank top and jeans. Elandra had asked me if I was ready to meet her and I said yes I was. Although I wasn't sure what to expect, nor did I have a preconceived notion on what she should look like.
When Elandra walked around the corner from the bedroom to the livingroom all I really saw was this timid person waiting with baited breath to see my reaction. She was shy, reserved and very selfconcious.

I sat in awe of her I guess, watching her moves, her manner. I guess for me I see two people, Elandra when she is dressed and my boyfriend when he is dressed as a man. Perhaps my seperating them makes it a whole lot easier to except , I'm not sure.

When Elandra is all dressed up my thoughts are never judgemental of her. She is Elandra , a wonderful caring, sensitive woman whom I am trying to get to know. I have noticed though that she tends to wear very flambouyant clothing, items which I would never wear myself. So
I have learned to look for her tastes in clothing when we are out.

I hope this answered your question

OK Virginia, here's a somewhat detailed description of the only time my wife has ever seen me dressed. I do NOT include an all-male Miss America pagent (fund raiser) I was in over 25 years ago.

Bear in mind that she's never seen so much as a picture of me enfemme, much less seen Dixie in person. Furthermore, she has toldme on more than one occasion that I would make an ugly looking woman. The single exception ( not including the pagent mentioned above) is described in detail beginning in the next paragraph. In fact, she wouldn't know who "Dixie" is if she slapped her in the face, and knows nothing about her web site or the group she established. Not only that, but she'd have to admit that she's never seen any femininity show through my masculine side either.

Our house is a two-story house (three if you include the basement and downstairs area). The master bedroom is on the end of the house that's directly over the garage and there is one bedroom window from which you can view the driveway at the garage entrance. Through a series of circumstances (some self-engineered) I "let myself" be put into a situation where I was more or less 'compelled' by my co-workers to come to work dressed as a woman on Halloween of 2001. That was the ONLY way the wife would have ever put up with it. So on the night before I secretly shaved my legs (an AWESOME feeling when you wear stockings the first time over freshly de-burred legs) and when we went to bed I told my wife that I would get up in the morning and get myself ready downstairs out of my respect for her. This was because she has said before that she didn't ever want to see me dressed. She said that that wouldn't be necessary, but I insisted on it to prove to her that I wasn't trying to take unfair advantage of her due to the "situation" I had gotten into. So the next morning I got up just before 5 AM and shaved really close with a new blade and went downstairs. I spent over 2 hours getting ready and when I had finally slipped on my dress and shoes. I picked up my purse, put my wallet, cigarettes, lighter, keys, and a few cosmetic 'essentials' I figured I'd need during the course of the day and exited through the basement door to my vehicle. When I got back home that night I reversed the procedure and cleaned up before going upstairs. I got one of "those" looks, but nothing was said. Later that night when we went to bed, as we lay there in the darkness she asked me where I'd gotten my blonde wig. When I asked her how she knew it was blond she said she'd watched me leave from the bedroom window. The odd thing is that this woman has told me several times that she did NOT want to see me dressed - EVER! And then she kept herself awake for over two hours just so she could watch me leave. And even then the only thing she could see was the back side and only from the waste up. She has YET to see what I can do with makeup.

Now I ask you - are these the actions of a woman who has said several times that she didn't want to see her husband enfemme? I think not! I also think that she'd be shocked if she ever DID see me since I think in her mind's eye she visualizes me as looking like something you'd see on "Cops".

Now, about a week later, the wife and I were shopping at Sam's Club and by chance ran into one of the ladies from my office who had seen me that day. She (this woman) went to great extremes to tell my wife what an OUTSTANDING job she had done on me the previous week. She complimented the outfit, the shoes, and especially the makeup. I couldn't afford to say or do anything other than just crack a slight grin, but inside I was about to die laughing since my wife hadn't even SEEN me - much less had anything to do with the way I looked that day. All she had to say to this lady was, "Well, he'll do just about anything." It was all I could do to keep my composure!

And since that day I've had nothing but positive remarks about how I looked. To this very day a LOT of the women in the office say it was almost SCARY how much I looked like a woman. I just usually grin and say something like, "Well, if something's worth doing at all, it's worth doing it right!"

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

Virginia,


Not sure this will apply to your question because my wife had slowly seen me progress in my dressing. She had to have a pretty good idea what I would look like totaly fixed up already.
I do remember the first time I showed her myself dressed head to toe,(1983 I think ) wearing a cream skirt , white blouse, black heels, and blonde wig :-) She smiled and said she would had never recognised me ! I sure didnt think to ask her if I looked like she imagined
I do remember her saying once Im just to big to look like a real girl,, that was a long time ago tho .
Now its the harsh critisisms like,,,,, that outfut just doesnt match !!! I will say thanks and try something else on all the while knowing how lucky I am to get a honst opinion like that in such circumstances !
All in all I guess my l taste in clothes and makeup do not bother my wife since she has been out with me as Cindy 3 times now and we always have had a great time. Outing # 4 is comming soon too I hope !


Cindy

I came out to my wife of 25 years a few months ago and we now live in separate homes. That's Ok. after I told her I said"Do you want to see me dressed.?" "Not really " she replied"But go ahead". After I put on a few outfits for here all she said was"It's not my style" Since then whenever I bring up anything about crossdressing she completely ignores it as if I said nothing and continues with whatever she was speaking about. I wnet to her condo a few weeks ago for dinner and a movie dressed. When she answered the door all she said was"Get in here before someone sees you!" Gee. I thought I looked really cute!What are you going to do. That's her problem. Big Hugs.

Love
Jeannie

Hi Virginia:

I'd say that he looked about the same as I had imagined him dressed. Of course, I've known about it for about a year and have had time to adjust to his CDing. He looked pretty much the same, except for a wig and some makeup--actually, now that I think back, he looked much more attractive as a woman than I had imagined. He's a good looking guy anyway, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

Now, it still sometimes wigs me out too, when I see him taking another step--I remember being really freaked out when he shaved under his arms. I can't say why that freaked me out, while it doesn't bother me to see him in full makeup.

I think that every SO has a different reaction. Good question, though. I love this forum--it appears that everyone has had a slightly different experience.

-Gardenia

Hi Virginia,

Actually, I was picturing more like "larger than life- female impersonator stuff "and was surprised at the reality.
I've a pretty down to earth relatively conservative lady.

Good Question Virginia....

[quote="Cindy Barnes"]Virginia,


Not sure this will apply to your question because my wife had slowly seen me progress in my dressing. She had to have a pretty good idea what I would look like totaly fixed up already.
I do remember the first time I showed her myself dressed head to toe,(1983 I think ) wearing a cream skirt , white blouse, black heels, and blonde wig :-) She smiled and said she would had never recognised me ! I sure didnt think to ask her if I looked like she imagined
I do remember her saying once Im just to big to look like a real girl,, that was a long time ago tho .
Now its the harsh critisisms like,,,,, that outfut just doesnt match !!! I will say thanks and try something else on all the while knowing how lucky I am to get a honst opinion like that in such circumstances !
All in all I guess my l taste in clothes and makeup do not bother my wife since she has been out with me as Cindy 3 times now and we always have had a great time. Outing # 4 is comming soon too I hope !


Cindy[/quote]

Hi Cindy, its me Susan frrom Liverpool

tallness is not a problem, I have a GG girl friend from SoCal who is 6'2" and she has 5 daughter's who are all built like her. I think you are lovely dear, long may you carry on.

HUGS


Susan