But Mom, I *Don't* Think I'm A Girl

[Marda]

~
Recently, I overheard 2 middle aged women, talking like women, about women's stuff: one said to the other -
"I would have had 1 more child if only I could have been 100% sure it would be a girl" ...
~

Then I began to imagine a conversation between that woman and her unborn Crossdresser (GM) Child -

Woman & Mother - "I don't know what to do with you; you're neither a boy nor a girl"

CDChild - "It seems easy enough Mom, I'm 'Me'"

W&M - "But you're not the same as either boys or girls"

CDC - "Mom, everybody is the same only different, and different only the same"

W&M - "What's that supposed to mean?"

CDC - "Both boys and girls can be nice or nasty"

W&M - "We're not talking about being nice or nasty, we're talking about how you act and how you look - you're supposed to be a boy; you're supposed to do boy stuff and dress in boy clothes"

CDC - "I do boy stuff Mom - when I go for a leak and I'm in a hurry, I do it like a boy - and I wear jeans and tee shirts like boys do"

W&M - "But it's the other stuff - you don't have normal friends - you don't do normal boy stuff like have a normal girlfriend - and you wear bras and panties - and sometimes you wear skirts and blouses, or a dress"

CDC - "My friends are normal for me Mom - we all play baseball together in the summer and go skating in the winter - we listen to all kinds of music and go to movies and the theatre - and when we're out together, I use the men's toilet like all of my friends who have something inside their panties - and all of my other friends who have something different inside their panties use the women's toilet ..."

CDC - "Let's face it Mom, I'm probably not like you might be if you were me; and I'm probably not like Dad would be if he were me - but none of us can be someone else - each of us is who we are - I am who I am - just because I have something like Dad has inside his underwear doesn't mean I have to wear his kind of underwear even if I don't like it - and just because I don't have inside my panties the same stuff as you have inside yours doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to wear panties if I like them - and just because Dad doesn't wear a bra doesn't mean I can't - and just because you wear a bra doesn't mean I shouldn't - it's not like I wear stuff out that isn't appropriate for where I'm going, who I'm with, and what I'm doing ..."

CDC - "I don't mutilate my body - I don't do drugs - I don't hurt or kill people - I'm kind to animals, and to other people - I don't want to be a hooker, a politician, an athlete, a dope dealer, an executive, a lawyer, an accountant, or a stockbroker ..."

CDC - "Personally Mom, I love you and Dad, and I think you're getting all upset about nothing - maybe it's your friends who have a problem and you're letting them make it yours - I'm not in debt - I'm not wanted by the police - I'm as healthy and fit as anybody my age in my group - I'm doing well in school, and that's not easy; the education system is pretty messed up - I'm pretty good with computers but I also read books - if I'm going to have sex with someone, it will probably be with someone who has different stuff inside her panties than I have in mine; and I'll probably be as sure as I can be that I actually like that person and want to be with them, and that our sex will be because we care for each other and like to share with each other ..."

CDC - "All in all Mom, I'm not sure it really makes such a big difference what people think about all this 'boy' and 'girl' stuff - I don't really think of myself as a 'boy' or a 'girl' - and I certainly don't think of myself as a 'girl trapped in a boy's body' - I'm just *Me* - I'm a nice person and I'm your child and you're my Mom and Dad is my Dad and I feel lucky for all of this - maybe I'll be a doctor - maybe I'll be a doctor who cares for people who sometimes wear panties and bras ..."

CDC - "Maybe I'll be a MedicineMan - *YEAH*, That's it ...
- I'll be a *MedicineMan* !!!
~

/Marda

[Jessica_Karen]

Hi, Marda,

I enjoyed your post...you articulate the CDer's pov especially beautifully. How wonderful it would be if only (sigh) both sides of the conversation could find such compassion for each other. In real life, of course, as we both know...both sides are often overladen with guilt, fear, and disgust. Still, that's the whole point of your post, isn't it? To help counter those very feelings. What I wanted to tell you, though, even more than this, is that your tag line about becoming a medicine man comes closer to the truth than you (or I) might have imagined. I have recently found a support group for transgendered folk. One of the members is a first nations girl in transition. At our most recent meeting, just last week, she not only told us about her experiences at a week long healing session for "two spirited" people, (She looked radiant!) but she told us that we would be welcome to attend a similar session, if we wished. That it was not limited to aboriginals, but in fact, was open to anyone. Not sure I'm ready for that, yet, but gosh, it's tempting.

She, by the way, was unaware of any "two spirited" tradition in her own people, but the people conducting the sessions recognized it in her almost instantly...and told her that in fact, this was what she was. And, what is more, this made her a very special person, indeed. Imagine the conversation between the mother and child in this culture, then. Quite a different one from the one you or I would imagine, isn't it?

Wishing you a merry Christmas.

Karen

[Valerie]

Hi Marda. Loved your post and the comments. Makes a person wonder why can't we all just be happy to be "me"? And the world would understand without pointiing fingers/hushed comments about how wrong it is. .

[Marda]

... not limited to aboriginals ... gosh, it's tempting ...

" Rolling Thunder said, 'The medicine power is not dying out. In fact, it is coming again to many of our young people. Years ago they were saying that one day there would be no medicine people; but we were not fooled at all, we knew that we would not die out. We knew that one day, as though it had begun overnight, the power would be seen to be returning again. Now it is coming back strong'.""

"wovoca.com/prophecy-rolling-thunder-people."

/Marda