I was curious about how indiginous people have handled crossdressing. Because I know this is not just compulsive behavior, it made sense to me that every culture would have crossdressers. I was curious how they delt with it. I suspected that Native Americans presumption that nature was always in balance would accept transgenderedness and homosexuality as part of that balance.
I turned out to be correct. They did not place the strict guidlines on gender that we do. For instance. If a man has a relationship with a transgendered man presenting as a woman, this was not considered to be a homosexual relationship. They accepted as the truth, what people felt about themselves, not thier physical sex.
Native Unity Magazine wrote:
Historically, many Native American tribes looked upon homosexuals, lesbians, hermaphrodites, and cross-dressers as “spiritually gifted” people. Their roles were outlined in the creation story, and identities evolved out of tribal religions. They were placed on pedestals often in religious roles as medicine men or women – the old-world type “shamans”. .
Here is the full text that quote was taken from.
I have read a few threads lately that have discussed issues about telling our children or parents. I have read about people not dressing in front of certain people because they want to show respect.
When are we going to stop apologizing for what we are? When are we going to stop teaching our children this is some shameful thing we need to shield them from? When are we going to accept that a certain percentage of every society on the planet has people that are transgendered, and we are they?
We did not ask to be this way. Yet most all of us have been forced to live a life of guilt and shame as if in our very existance were something disgusting that we chose for ourselves.
There is nothing shameful about being a crossdresser. There is nothing shameful about being transgendered and there is nothing shameful about being a transsexual. It is time to change this debate.
I do not agree with Tri-ess Bill of Rights for wives.
Time to tell the children. Or is it something shameful we need to protect them from? Either we are all lying and we are filthy perverts, or we are not lying and this is what we are. If this is really what we are, we need to tell our children. If we don't tell them, we are saying that really this is just an obsession we are ashamed of. This is guilt induced control. No one should be required to hide from thier children who and what they are, iimho, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.Tri-ess wrote: 2. We have the right to honest and open communication with our husbands, with negotiation and compromise on both sides, particularly in regard to allocation of family resources and in matters pertaining to telling our children. Old patterns of selfishness and deception must cease.
NO ONE, has a right to anything from anyone. No one has a right to tell anyone how or what they should be. This phrase really upsets me, maybe because of people like me who are transsexual and this means we just can not concede this manly appearance for someone elses sake. Now I realize that when someone crosses the boundry into transsexualism that is different than crossdressing.Tri-ess wrote:
4. We have the right to our husbands as men, the men we married, men who maintain a positive, healthy masculinity while "exploring their femininity" and seek neither to evade responsibilites nor to appropriate our own feminine roles.
But the deal is, the crossdresser wants to present himself as male, so this is just some redundant statement saying that the SO holds control, and that bugs me. It treats the CD'r as inferior in almost every instance.
This is back on that issue that someone maintains control over you body. This is absurd. No one controls someone elses body. If so, there would not be any overweight women. Gaining weight is changing ones body appearance, usually in a negative way, and rarely does the partner get a say so in it. I mean can a partner just say, "sorry, no twinkies for you. have some yogart. I don't want you to gain weight. Can they force you not to eat as a condition of keeping the mariage?Tri-ess wrote:
5. We have the right to our husbands' masculine male bodies. Neither partner in a marriage has the right to alter body features without the full knowledge and consent of the other.
Of course not, men and women would never allow that. Why? Because we all have a right to control our own body. Some people get depressed and eat, others get depressed and put on a dress. It's the same thing, a way to deal with stress. We accept one, condemn the other. This is insanity.
If someone wants to peirce their body, or get a tattoo or even grow breasts, or gain wieght, it is thier body it's thier decision.
I know, and the SO's by now have got to be saying, "yeah they can do it, and they can live alone". For many that is the only alternative. There is just no way they can accept that thier mate who crossdresses just does not have a choice. Whatever value they have as a person is diminished by this shameful obsession that he has to dress like a woman.
This is never going to work!!!!!!!!! Accepting being treated like we have done something wrong is not going to work. Compromising who we are so mom, dad, brother, sister, son, daughter, neighbor, boss, whatever won't find out, or won't accept us, is never going to work.
The sooner we all start moving in the direction of not accepting being contolled and hidden away as something shamefull, the sooner that those who follow us will have the chance to live productive lives as the people they were meant to be.
I know there are many that do not agree with this. I know there are many crossdressers that fear the wrath so bad, they will take even the slightest drop of accpetance. They are so filled with guilt and shame and so sure they will lose everything they have, they will agree to anything. This also is not going to work.
We need to do like the Native Americans. We need to accept that a certain percentage of us are like this and integrate us into our society. Stop treating us like we did something wrong. Stop condemning us in religion. Stop trying to control it, and learn to love who we are. And lets not be afraid to tell our children we are not freaks, we don't have to be ashamed. We were not given a choice.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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