Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi folks,

Most of the users here also have membership to the CDDF.

This is a post I posted there, but I also wanted to post it here. Please forgive the repeat!

. . .

I feel I am a self-proclaimed male wife(home-maker). I don't believe it's been spelled out yet what that means, but I cook, clean, and do laundry. Most importantly I take care of my spouse. I get her up in the morning. Make sure when she comes home there is nothing she has to do, but feel comfortable. I sleep best at night when I know she hasn't had to do anything when she comes home. She works a full-time job and goes to school (at my urging). That's enough for her in my opinion.

I don't dress for the occassion. Sometimes I'm dressed en femme, sometimes I'm not. It depends on my mood. Cleaning is not something that arouses me, I'm just good at it. \:D/:) I'm also good at taking care of my wife. She gets the queens treatment and like most wives, this male wife gets anything he wants.

I do the manly things around the house too example (plunge le' toilet), kill the spider, or fill up the cars.

I bring home the most dinero for the household. There are lots of women who bring home more money than their male hubby and still they take care of the house. That's why I'm more comfortable with homemaker than wife. The term "wife" gets into other thingies that cause people to get rather emotional anyhow.

This wasn't an easy thing for me to be comfortable with, being the homemaker I mean. It was something I didn't want to do, but I didn't want to initially because "guys" arent' supposed to want to do that. Ok, it wasn't as black and white as that, but in the end I feel that was what caused me to pause the most.

I really like this topic. \:D/\:D/ I imagine there are lots of us out there and some don't CD. Yet, that is... lol! JUST KIDDING!!

. . .

My question on this forum is, "How do SO's feel about this as well as others here?" I would think what I do is too over the top for some GG's and for that matter, I guess some CD's could be saying, "whooooa, slow down there Tonto."

One would think that my wife would be like, "YES!!!" but it's not that easy. There are times when she will do housework and I let her. Part of me doesn't want to, but I have to respect her as a female, my wife and my partner. So I can't be controlling. Besides, she stops in a few days anyway.

She really likes this and she's happy. That makes me happy. That's the important part I guess. We're both happy!!!

Beauty

Beauty,

As a matter of fact...my partner and I just had a little boy several months ago. It was our plan that I would be returning to work full time shortly after the first month or so and he would take over as "surigate mommy".
Well, that's not what happened and to make a long story short ,I hate it!
I can't wait for a few years to go by so I can return to work full time.
I love my kids but I need that career also.
I guess the fact that we can have one of us home is good for now.

Actually, I am very aware that my partner comes with a high pricetag(clothes ,makeup,shoes ,jewlery,etc..).
I would like to be the one with the career that makes more money so I can take care of him in our old age.
He has learning disabilities that make certain fields of employment a challenge for him.
He is also a musician on the side and I'd like him to be able to enjoy that aspect of himself and not feel pressured to provide everything.
Ours is a joint partnership and each of us brings something essential and unique to the relationship.

I don't think your situation is strange at all. It's just unique to you and your wife.

L.R.

Cool!

Thanks L.R.!!

Beauty

Hi Joanna!

Sometimes I feel like a maid of sorts. It does have it's benefits. I FINALLY purchased the outfit.

I think that's neat about your daughter. Your ex-footballer son in law could be a CD, no?

I imagine your daughter is like both you and your wife. So it would make sense that she is demanding of her mate and that her mate is passive. Just like good old dad.

I think the whole scenario is super cute!

Beauty said: "Make sure when she [beauty's SO] comes home there is nothing she has to do, but feel comfortable."

Sorry I'm a Janey-come-lately to this thread, but I just saw this. My SO would love it if I were more like you . Unfortunately, I've got the nickname "Commando King" around the house which she is just saying in jest (I hope! )

Anyway, that is a REAL nice thing to be doing for your SO, Beauty.

LOL!

Don't worry about it Commando.

Thank you for the kind thoughts Alexandra.

Ever think about making the change to taking care of her? I'm sure she would love it and she'd show you how much.

Beauty

hmmm . . . well I could pick up my beer cans and cheeto bags . . .


I'm kidding!!!! I don't even drink beer!!!

Actually, I do some help around the house . . . our problem is our daughter's fondness for creating an INDUSTRIAL-size mess in a matter of minutes when we're not looking . . .

lol!

Ever thought about assuming the role of being the sole keeper of the house? <--- I sooo love that look!!!

:: flinching ::

Beauty

sole keeper??

YES!!

Don't knock it till ya' try it.

It's tough work, but your wife will appreciate you allll the mooooore.

:: runs ::

In searching for some other info, I came across this post.

Ever since our daughter was born, I have been primarily a house-husband.
I'm not the best housekeeper by a long-shot, but the biggest reward for us has been that our daughter has had one parent home pretty much all her life.
I have worked part-time, and even full-time every now-and-then.
So our daughter did spend a little time in day-care, but not much according to today's standards!
Working outside the home was mostly to keep me from going crazy. I was raised in the '60s, so I still have a lot of that..."Dad works and comes home to wife and child, who have dinner ready...", baggage.

I've met several other home-dads and it's been helpful knowing I'm not the only one out there.

Hi Allen,

Great! Thanks for digging this thread up!

Out of curiousity, is there a place on the web where house husbands chat or share their experiences?

Beauty

Hi Beauty,

Yes, there are some on-line support groups for stay at home dads.

and no I do not belong to any of them..ha- ha, very funny .....

Sorry I chimed in and answered this Allen but I had recently been looking for some on-line support for myself and was surprised to find that the groups were still mostly posting "moms only" and I thought that was a bit archaic.

Allen let me know if you belong to or have heard of any support for stay at home PARENTS either moms or dads.
I'm looking for one at the moment!

Thanks,

Lefty

I have not searched for a website dealing with stay at home moms and dads.
Didn't even think of it actually.

Now, if you want me to make ANOTHER extremely looooonngg post, like I usually do , I could tell you all about the "ins and outs of stay at home parenting"
JUST KIDDING!

Now that I think about it, my experience with the house-dad/husband does have some parallels with my crossdressing.
I found it hard mentally to be completely comfortable with both issues early on.
I actually accepted the stay-at-home bit sooner than I ever did the crossdressing (6,7,8 years as opposed to 40 yrs.).
I've felt pretty at ease with home chores, child-rearing duties, except for the cooking area.
My wife has what you might call a "discriminating palate".
While I can eat almost anything, prepared in almost any manner, especially if it has mustard on it...she had a hard time with some of my cooking.
She loves to cook though, and that has relieved me of coming up with meals every night.

What are some of the issues you all are interested in exploring on a support website?

Like I mentioned earlier, I had the opportunity to meet some dads in the same position as me. We did meet sometimes at the park, or McD's playland, etc.
I found that I often wound up with groups of moms. THAT caused a bit of unwanted attention whenever I was going around town with my wife.
There'd be some young mom waving, calling out, "Hi Allen! How are you?", or something like that, and they generally wouldn't acknowledge my wife the same way...TROUBLE!!!!
Fortunately, my wife has a good sense of humor and a good sense of my comittment to her, so that never became a real issue.
Sure made for some real rib-poking and teasing though.

Allen wrote:Like I mentioned earlier, I had the opportunity to meet some dads in the same position as me. We did meet sometimes at the park, or McD's playland, etc.
I found that I often wound up with groups of moms. THAT caused a bit of unwanted attention whenever I was going around town with my wife.
There'd be some young mom waving, calling out, "Hi Allen! How are you?", or something like that, and they generally wouldn't acknowledge my wife the same way...TROUBLE!!!!
Fortunately, my wife has a good sense of humor and a good sense of my comittment to her, so that never became a real issue.
Sure made for some real rib-poking and teasing though.

LOL

That was super funny!!! It's great your wife has a sense of humor because that's hilarious!

Thanks for more info on you being a house-hubby. Do you ever dress when you're at home alone?

Beauty