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I had a good morning, waking up about 7:45 and saying, "Heck, I'll go in around 9:00". I put on some music, took my time getting cleaned up, and enjoyed the drive into work. The weather today has been beautiful. It was a good work day too. A project I've been developing for several weeks worked well for the first time today. I came home to read this forum, and that's when tonight's bout started creeping up on me. This is even a time of year I really enjoy.

I take my medication (Cymbalta) regularly, because I know I require it. So why am I feeling depressed this evening? Because it's a mental illness, and it's something I have to live with. Nobody, nothing, no event or message or interruption caused it. Despite having already taken my meds this morning, I doubled up and took another one just a few minutes ago. I can't afford living with a two or three-day bout of depression right now.

Thankfully, it's mild because I'm on medication. Thankfully, I know it will pass. Thankfully, I can separate it from my TG hopes and desires. Thankfully, I have friends here who will always be here.

Thank you all for letting me share.

Hey, Zippy -

I so enjoyed talking with you earlier this week, and I'm looking forward to more chats.

I'm available for another phone call whenever you would like - just let me know!



- SL

Honey, I can only hope that we can make you feel better!!! The girls here have been here for me and they/we are here for you.
Keep the faith!
Love,
Virginia

PS: don't be surprised if SL and I show up on your doorstep unannounced some time.

Virginia wrote:PS: don't be surprised if SL and I show up on your doorstep unannounced some time.

Hey, that sounds like a great idea - - I think we need to shanghai Kathy/Zippy and go shopping!

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!! CHARGE!!!



- SL

Zippy:
Keep paying attention to the triggers, write them down and disscuss with your Doctor.
An shopping does help.

Just think about the snow we got today, and laugh.

Hope the meds help.

Hi Zippy,
I hope you're feeling better. I don't know much about depression, so I can offer no advice.

Just hope it wasn't too bad to spoil a beautiful day.

Hugs,
Kyra

Hi Zippy-
Whatever the triggers are, for some of us, they're strictly chemical or hormonal. My initial depression has little or nothing to do with what's happening around me. There's a drop in vitality that happens, and then I'm at the mercy of any little change that I see. I'm on constant alert for these changes--it's just part of life, for me, if I want to stay stable.

Once my vitality goes, then it's really subtle stuff that'll get to me--like a certain color on a sign, a random person on the street, or the shift in light when the sun goes behind a cloud for a moment. I have to keep focused and not let these things accumulate, or I'll be going down further. I have a lot of mental tools that I use, and none of them ever work all of the time. It's a matter of finding which one works on which day, or which hour. Believe me, I have a lot of incentive to keep on shuffling them around until I find the right one.

It is good that you recognize that it will pass, and that you don't look at TG hopes through its lens. What is tough is if a partner asks you the wrong question at times like that. When I was younger I would talk and take action during times of depression, and really mess things up. I learned to just hold off, if at all possible. I learned to tell girlfriends to just ignore me, leave me alone.

I wanted to try prozac when it was new, but the doctor I saw didn't feel like I was extreme enough for that. I got lithium instead, which did put a "floor" under my mental state--I could only go down so far, and then I'd hit a solid layer. After three months, I decided I'd rather go back to doing this for myself, and I went off of it. There's always some side effects, and it didn't seem worth the price to me at that time.

I've always been much happier late at night, when there are no changes in light. It took me a long time to realize that's partly why I like nighttime activities so much more than daytime ones. For whatever reason, my general vitality is higher at night, My mental batteries don't get into that red zone where everything looks like "too much."

I don't know whether the actual deoression process lessens with age, but the effects seem to lessen. That is, my vitality may drop just as much as it did at 20, but I can handle the resulting feelings better than I did then.

I take Cymbalta too. It doesn't bother me that I take it, doesn't make me feel mentally ill or anything.

Be real carefull about doubling up or changing your dosage. These things work over time and don't give a quick change the way a drink would. Personally I think it's a real bad idea to change your dosage without talking to a doctor.

Cymbalta isn't a terribly good treatment for pure depression. It seems to work well for phyiscal interactions of depression like what is found in fibromyalgia.

There's lots of other biochemical factors that can lead to depression. Bipolar disorders are often biochemical which is why Lithium sometimes works so well. Then there is the whole seasonal affective disorder and also for somereason the mania in manic depression is much more common around May.

I found that after I had I131 treatment for Graves disease and they then stabalized me on synthroid that a lot of my mood swings lessened greatly. This was a thyroid problem and affects many people over 50 although fortunately Graves disease is rare.

I have found that a key for me is not to allow myself to get depressed about being depressed. It doesn't mean anything about my worth as a person and that sort of thing.

Exercise by the way is a great antidepressant, as is proper nutrition.

In another thread however I read that you are saying you would like breast augmentation. Wihtout expressing any opinion on whether or not you should do this I would say that when our feelings about ourselves become strong enough that we would consider this type of surgery, particularly if we are feeling depressed, that we should enlist professional help in exploring our psyche. Not that it is an illness or anything bad. Merely that in venturing into the uncharted regions of our soul we should have a competent guide.

Absaroka

I can't, am not qualified to give advice, but I am here to listen and support...
I've found that simple fact, an open ear, helps at times.

Everyone: Thank you so much

Fortunately, things were much better when I woke up today. This is the first serious bout of depression I've felt in a few years, so I can honestly say Cymbalta is working well for me. The weather continues to be wonderful, and the weekend is almost here, so that's more in my favor. I may just schedule a long weekend drive up to Virginia and SilverLady's someday soon. I think I just need to get away from work, the office, the house, and everything else for a few days. Thanks again for letting me share, and for offering your advice and support.

Good to hear Zippy!

That is good to hear, Zippy, that it's really not that frequent. I hope that getaway can happen soon.

I'm glad your're feeling better and also glad to hear you don't feel this way very often.

I think all of us have occaisional days like that.

Absaroka

You gals are just the BEST!