Crossdressers-Haven.com

so, its been a hectic weekend, on saturday my ex came out to my house and we basically talked, then she kissed me, but we both knew she was and still is going out with someone else... dont get me wrong, i love her, but i felt it wasnt right so i asked her to choose, to not make some strange love triangle...she answered after 20 minutes and said she chose her current bf, i said "alright, ill do my best not to contradict u" then after bout 20 minutes she started flirting with me again, finally i took her back to the bus stop and she went home, on the walk home i figured itd be best just to forget about her to avoid ne pain and to simply move on...so since the incident we havent talked or nething...and i dont plan to in the future...but did i make a good choice? the right choice? i still love her and am having trouble getting her out of my head...so its not the easiest to forget her, but i honestly believe i should, any opinions?

Hi Eureka,

Just my unprofessional opinion - I think you did the right thing. Frankly it sounds to me like she is trying to have her cake and eat it. You are young - there are lots of other fish in the sea. Play the field and enjoy it.

Hugs,

Lydia

Hi Eureka--
I think you made the right choice. Even if she did decide to 'choose you' at some future point, you can see that she would like to keep more than one person on the line. She's also not being fair to you by initiating flirting twice like that--once, OK, but not after defining where things stand with her.

Depends.

If you are looking for full commitment, with the hope of marriage, then yes, you did right.

If not, then you could have continued to see her, and see where it led, with the option to see others as she is doing.

Rest assured that the right person you will want to spend the rest of your life with will come along.

I've been in love twice, married the second one 31 yrs ago. Yet I will still occasionally think of my first.

So, you may get over her, or may not completely get over her, time will tell.

It sounds like she wasn't willing to respect your feelings so you probably did the right thing. But how can anyone answer a question like this based on a simple electronic post?

I've been in light relationships with women who were seeing other people and vice versa and it was fine. I've been in love with women who were in other realationships and lying to their other lover and it was terrible. I guess it depends on what you want.

Absaroka

You did right. She chooses the other guy and then starts flirting with you? It's a game and you don't want to play it. I have watched my neighbor play this game over and over and...well, you get the picture. It isn't pretty and it isn't healthy.

Eureka,

Interesting takes on the situation from others, eh?

Regardless of whether the lady friend was playing a game or not, *you* are in love with her and *you* don't want to share her. Therefore, *you* are not looking for a casual relationship. Now there is nothing that requires her to be ready for some form of committment just because you are. But if monogamy is what you wanted, which it sounds as if it is, then yes you did the right thing.

Having the girlfriend half-time doesn't work. Better for both of you to go on to find people who want the same things you do.

And yes, I do think she was playing a bit of a "cake and eat it too" game.

-g(so)

The posters before me have summed it up well, leaving me nouthing new to add. My feeling, for what its worth, you did the right thing if you want a committed relationship.

Eureka...
Let me echo what most of the others have said. We almost all have ex- loves and think them of fondly. But when what you had turns to pain and an emotional coaster ride, the bad starts to outweigh the good and those memories turns sour. There is an old cliche....when you love someone let them go, if they return they love you too. I'd hate to see her play with your feelings and hurt you more than she already has.
My mother used to tell me a man was like a bus...another one will come by in another 5 minutes. I'm sure that is true for women too.