Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

Well, here's a first: my SO, Rina, although not quite ready to join the forum yet with an account of her own, would very much like to have a chance to say a few things about style (can you hear me gulp yet? Yes, indeed, you can!). Although I know it would be preferable for her to join and post, I thought I'd make this one exception in order to encourage her to wet her pretty toes, so to speak. Without further ado, I hand over the keyboard to the little missus:

Well, it's really me. I've decided whole-heartedly of my own device to make this comment because of a conversation that CJ and I have had - a few times now. Please excuse my "uncoothness" but here you have it : " Crossdressers have no style". Come to me with the sexiest look you can but please not with the "old granny outfit" which I describe as the floral mini print of a zip-up robe that goes to your knees and flat sandals with nylons that have a hole at the crotch. A lacy teddy and garders (colour co-ordinated) could actually possibly get my totally non-crossdresser "mo-jo" going.

It's not just CJ, in fact, I have seen many cross-dressers (in activities I've been to, movies I've seen and just in general) with a bad sense of style. I love CJ more than anything but his (and many of your) bad sense of style is really a turn off. Although I never thought I could or would "get into it" I actually think I could but the lack of style that can be caused by a lack of budget, fashion sense or other can really get on one's nerves.

Pink goes with pink only, white goes with white only, black goes with black only, and floral should be non-existent in the cross-dresser world. Leopard or any other animal print is a whole other discussion. These are rules that everyone should abide by not just crossdressers!

I admit to having a sense of style that NEVER includes more than three colours and that prides itself on a maximum of three but I have a great sense of style and before you even start asking .... this statement is based on many comments that my colleagues, friends and even strangers have said. Trust me, if you "guys" could be more colour conscious you would greatly increase your odds of a relationship with a "non-crossdresser savvy" woman. Make it all sexy and wild for her but remain in the boundaries of fashion. That's the best advice I can give.

There you have it - an itsy-bitsy commentary on my part. I'll be back but give me some feed-back that deserves a remark on my part. Argue with me!!!! And more than anything- try out my theory and let me know what happens (really happens). Make the whole experience sexy and hot for both partners.

Okay, CJ here again. See? See what I have to put up with? So. There's a possibility that some "selective purging" of my wardrobe will be happening in the near future. Oh well, we need the space anyhow.

Love,
CJ

deleted

OUCH!

Virginia

Hmmmm, well, I have to agree with Rina in general principle, because I have seen quite a few CD's and pre- and post-op T-Girls (heck, even GG's!!) that have absolutely no fashion sense at all. However, I think this is mostly due to them not having an accepting SO or GG friend(s) who may gently guide them and help them avoid a fashion faux pas.

On the other hand, though, I have also met quite a few CD's and T-girls with an absolutely *wonderful* fashion sense, with and without accepting SO's or GG friends, and I have learned some things from them, too.

Rina wrote:
"Pink goes with pink only, white goes with white only, black goes with black only, and floral should be non-existent in the cross-dresser world. Leopard or any other animal print is a whole other discussion. These are rules that everyone should abide by not just crossdressers!"

Rina, I have to disagree with that statement. I have worn pink tops or blouses (even rose or purple!) with black, brown, and even light and/or dark denim slacks, shorts, and skirts, and I've got to say that not only did I think that I looked awesome, I received numerous compliments from men and women, friends and strangers alike. Same goes with white and black, being paired with non-white or black. Floral, leopard, or other animal print . . . well, not everyone can wear those designs, even GG's, so don't be too broad with your paint brush!

Rina, with all that being said, though, I am really looking forward to you joining the Forum!

CJ . . . Rina's definitely a keeper, but you know that, my friend!



Love & Hugs to you both!

- SL

Oh, I don't know. Seems like a too generalized statement to me.

Believe me, I am color coordinated minded. Even my undies need to be coordinated.

Then again, at my weight, or what was my weight a month ago, there isn't much choice out there.

But, I looked pretty good Friday night. So I was told, anyway.

And there are some that clearly have no fashion sense, but there are quite a few whom I've met, like Virginia, who have a lot of style.

Now, I don't know what all CJ has in her closet, but there have been some great outfits in some of her pictures. You're not holding out on her are you CJ?

Hi Rina,

You want to rumble huh? Laff. While there are fashion faux pas's, as it were. The problem is, no one can agree what they are. Not to mention, fashion gets limited with larger size. When one has lots of money, wears a size 0-5 dress, and 5-7 in shoes, it's not hard to dress great.

Ever look at the 2X rack at Walmart? It's not exactly Channel. Also at 45, I don't really want to dress as if I were 20. I have seen fashion come and I have seen fashion go, then seen it come back again. Unless one can afford to buy new clothes every season of every year, it's tough to stay in fashion.

One more thing. Pink goes wonderfully with white, yellow, and lime green, as well as black. And red accessories can make a little black dress, that much more stunning.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Rina said, among other things:

give me some feed-back that deserves a remark on my part. Argue with me!!!!

Can't imagine why CJ's with you, darling!

Welcome to the party!

-g(so)

Gee whizz, Rina, sounds like my wife, she will tell me in a minute when I'm not dressed proper (color, style, that doesn't go with that) .

Gone

Since my sense of style isn't really all that great with mens clothing why should it be any better with womens?


Absaroka

Absaroka,

Well... I don't think I have a great sense of style as a guy, when talking about men's clothing. After all, jeans and casual shirts do not require a lot of effort to coordinate. But when it comes to women's clothes, lets just say that I pay a lot more of attention!!! *LOL* (And not only to what I wear, but to what others are wearing!)

Regards,
Gaby

I suppose I actually do have some sense of it. You're right, tee shirts, jeans, and flannel shirts don't take too much thought. I have a lot of the same thinking in my femme clothing-lots of solid colors and simple designs. After all how wrong can you go with a sleeveless black dress? Of course women have to worry about a lot of stuff also like what is the right time of day to wear such a dress. But I suppose whatever you want is appropriate for around the house.

Absaroka

As Gaby mentioned, it takes practice to find your own fashion style. You are unique and you won't be punished for breaking any rules regarding color or fashion.

I like puchasing tank tops, miniskirts, blouses, scarves, and heels that are practical and functional for everyday use. Walmart, Target, and K Mart are places that I like to shop for accessories at affordable prices. I always wear matching colors of my long sleeved leotards and tights. (all black, all white,etc.) However, I like to mix and match different color accessories. I might wear a black tank top, black miniskirt, and black heels with my suntan colored leotards and tights.

Occasionally, I might wear monocolor accessories for special occasions. This weekend, I attended an East Bay barbecue as Maria. Since the suggested colors to wear were red, white, and blue for July, I dressed from head to toe in white; I received some complements for wearing my multicolored scarf tied to the back of my long black wig!

Maria

Personally, I have always favored the styles that are classics, the ones that are always 'in style' no matter the current fad/fashion, that can be easily dressed-up or dressed-down to alter the look . . . . . . and here I think is the big key. 'Dressing in style' is vastly different from dressing in the current fad or fashion, they are definitely *not* the same thing, so don't be misled!! Yes, I do have some "current fashions" in my wardrobe, but only those that look good on me. I have more "classic" styles than not, and I prefer to buy clothes (and shoes, jewelry, etc.) that will look great from one year to the next, without spending huge sums of money.

Part of the trick, for anyone, is to know what looks good on them, what styles work, which ones don't. That is not always easy to accomplish, and for some people, male or female, the style that 'works' for them may not always be the one that is currently in fashion . . . and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, IMHO. Just because the fashion designers deem that something is the "must have" or is the "in" look this season does NOT mean that it will look good on you!!

The lack of a budget for "nice" clothes, yes, that can pose a problem for anyone, not just CDs. Same thing for finding nice clothes for the larger girl, especially one who is also on a tight budget.

However, it doesn't cost much to go shopping at Goodwill, Salvation Army, or any other local thrift store. True, you never know what you will find there, but Virginia and I have always likened it to a treasure hunt . . . some days you strike it rich, other days not, but it's always a fun time.

Another big draw for shopping at thrift stores is the chance to experiment with different styles for very few dollars. If you find something that just doesn't work, you don't have to worry about being "out" of a lot of money, and you can always re-donate the items to that thrift store (and get a receipt for tax purposes, too).


*Hugs*

- SL

SilverLady,
My favor place to shop Goodwill. I like you believe in the classic.
I get e-mails all the time from outlets and I just can not stand the style they are trying to sell. Oh I know why, nobody likes them or buys them.