Hi from Ontario

Silvara · Post by **Silvara** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:15 am

Hi, I'm a closet CD from around the Toronto area, I've been recently looking around for forums that cater to the Crossdressing community to find people like me. I'm 20 years old and have had tendencies of wearing women's clothes since puberty. I'm heterosexual, 150lbs and 6' in case anyone's wondering ^_^ I hope to meet some friends here as until recently I used to feel quite alone in all of this. I'm hoping to become more public soon, but at the moment I still stay locked up in my room/bathroom when I dress.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:18 am

Well, Hi, Silvara--
Welcome! Hope you can get out of that locked bedroom/bathroom. But no hurry on that. Glad you could join us.

Kay · Post by **Kay** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:25 am

Hi Silvara
Welcome to this wonderful forum from me across the pond

. I'm out of the bedroom but still hiding behind the front door curtain

. There is loads of good advice to be had about 'going out' from the lovely ladies here. Friends - you've got one here already
Kay

CJ · Post by CJ » Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:43 am

Hi Silvara,

Welcome to the forum.

From what you said, I gather you don't live alone. When you still live at home or in some kind of residential setting, it's tough to "air out" your feminine self. Been there, done that.

Just remember this: "the closet" is not so much some physical space or geographic location as it is "a room in your mind." Being that this is so, you have some measure of freedom in determining how big (or small) that room will be. I'm not saying you should rush out there in full drag and scream to every passserby that this is who you are, no. But (and it's a big "but"--and I love big "buts!

), there's little stopping you from gradually moving out of your shell and entrusting the nature of your precious self to a select few, to people you trust--friends, school friends (assuming you're a uni student), etc. You don't need to "show" anyone right off the bat who you are; often, just telling another person is a step on the road to healing and freedom. That you posted a hello here, on this forum, is a good example of such a first step. This IS what it can mean also to "go public." You may feel the fear (as most of us have when we first expressed ourselves here) but then go ahead and do it anyway. Even in the "real world," away from the online forums, and despite the horror stories about violence against LGBT youth that is part of the bread and butter of mass media, people--especially young people--aren't nearly as intolerant as we sometimes suppose them to be.

You live in an area that is a haven--along with many other cities in North America--for TG'd folks. There are so many local resources in and around Toronto. You should check out some of them. Once my "sister-in-moderating," your fellow Torontonian Stephanie, has checked in here, she may be able to provide you with a few links.

Again, Silvara, welcome to the board. Glad you joined!

Love,
CJ

Post by **DonnaT** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:26 am

Hi Silvara,

to the forum.

Silvara · Post by **Silvara** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:07 am

CJ,

You're right in guessing I don't live alone, I'm at home with my mom, step-dad and 2 teenage brothers. So yeah, it's pretty difficult to 'air out' since there's almost always someone home when I am. One brother has super-early classes and finishes before I leave for school, and the rest get home before I do. This is gonna get more difficult in May and onwards through the summer since I'll be working a full time job at my mom's work plus my part time one. Talk about no free time at all, let alone time for myself!

I've slowly been moving myself out of the mental closet because of the stifling nature of my life, and so here I am! I've joined one or two other forums under "SilverArrow" as well, plus I've told a couple of close friends who are really supportive.

I know I'm really lucky being close to Toronto, as I know there's a decent tolerance there, not to mention areas of the city that are safe havens. I'd love to hear about more specific spots!

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:53 pm

Hi Silvara and welcome to the forum.

This is a great first step for you so glad you chose to join us. If you haven't had a chance yet, take a look around at the various sections here. They contain a wealth of information and the personal experiences of our members, covering just about every facet you can think of in what it means to be transgendered. You'll be amazed how just reading about the experiences of others can build your own confidence to a level where you can be ready to take that next step towards your emergence from that closet.

As CJ said, I'm from the Toronto area too and I can tell you it's a great city to get out and enjoy your femme self when you're ready. I belong to a social/support group called Xpressions www.xpressions.org and we have monthly 'pub nights' where you can attend in drab (as others do) and make new friends. They are a great bunch and a lot of fun, and is a great opportunity for those who are just coming out for the first time. Always something going on. If you're interested, feel free to send me a pm and I can give you more information.

Good luck and again,

Stephanie

Lucy Michelle · Post by **Lucy Michelle** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:37 pm

Hello Silvara, a big welcome along to the forum.

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:41 pm

Hi, Silvara, and welcome to the Forum!

- SL

Silvara · Post by **Silvara** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:12 am

Stephanie,

This sounds interesting! I'd have to figure out how to find my way there as I'll be working full time come May, but I'll be in Toronto so subway/train should be fine. How long does it usually go for? And when is it next, the 14th of May?

Stephenie G · Post by **Stephenie G** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:56 am

Hello & welcome Silvara . this is Stephenie g also from ontario. hope you enjoy it here and maybe get a chance to meet the other Stephanie.who knows maybe i'll come out for the night too some day.Stephenie G

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:11 pm

Silvara said:

Stephanie,

This sounds interesting! I'd have to figure out how to find my way there as I'll be working full time come May, but I'll be in Toronto so subway/train should be fine. How long does it usually go for? And when is it next, the 14th of May?

Yes, the next one would indeed be on May 14th. They are very casual and usually have no set time limit, just as long as people want to hang out. Just go to the site and contact 'Sally' at the link and she'll provide whatever info you need. You can also find a map on there to help you. Hope you can make it.

Stephanie

Silvara · Post by **Silvara** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:55 am

Ok I know where the place is, I should be able to come ^_^

TerriLynn · Post by **TerriLynn** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:11 pm

Hello Silvara. Welcome to our special place hon. Have fun!

Terrilynn

Frances Jewell · Post by **Frances Jewell** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:46 pm

Hi Silvara, I just saw that you posted on the thread that I started. Being new here also, I just wanted to say - welcome. remember that there is no rush, take your time and become comfortable with yourself and others through this forum.