Hi im a new member

[Alan]

Hi Leeza nice to meet you too :-)

[Bel(SO)]

I am always by your side and supporting you in whatever you do, honey! Xxx

We have 'come out' to a few RL friends who have been really supportive and that has helped Alan a lot with the guilt. Which brings me to another point. Alan feels, so far in all this, that he has a feminine side, when he's dressed he is a feminine personality, but there is no gender confusion (yet) I have said to him that no matter what the future holds I am with him, if he decided to become a woman in every sense of the word, I would still be with him, I fell in love with and married a person, and that's what matters to me. That said, for just now, he has no gender confusion as in as far as he's told me, he wants to be referred to as Alan, him and he, while dressed. If this changes, that's ok by me, but as far as I'm aware the feminine side is male iykwim. Alan felt very uncomfortable about choosing a name for this forum, since everyone seemed to have girls names and he didn't want to be left out, so he chose Leslie, which is actually his real middle name. I'm wondering, do you all have girl's names for your femme side, or does anyone else feel like Alan does just now? A female inside a man's body, that keeps the man's name? We have been wondering about this.

Love this forum btw, we've been made so welcome, love you folks! So good to have a place like this.

[Anna]

Hi Leslie. Welcome to the forum. Glad you could join us.

Anna x

[Paula G]

Bel, I suspect that this could be another topic, indeed those with better memories than mine may find that there is something similar here already. From a purely personal point of view, I only adopted the name Paula when I needed a feminine name to use on line. I simply choose one of the female versions of my given name. However once I had a name, then I started to grow in confidence and a separate personality started to emerge. I don't want to put you off, but somehow for me having a separate name allowed "the Girl" to become herself, separate from but still Him.

[Paula G]

Sorry but by the way I should have said that here she is Leslie. (~ you know no name no pack drill......)

[Leeza]

I did not take a female name until I looked into joining a forum and going into chat. It was also about the same time that I became more open about my female side.

As long as I was in the closet as far as outside the family, I didn't need a female name. As I have become more open about my fem side it has been nice to have a fem name.

Now I answer to both names, but friends can tell whether it is Leeza or P talking to them as the two are different. One of my GG friends is amazed at how quick I can switch between the two depending on the situation, and I don't realize the change.

Leeza

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Leslie (or Alan). Like you can see I actually have a guy's name, so...

The other thing is don't worry too much about the guilt. It would be a neat trick if you got to feel guilty about feeling guilty...But, not to joke about it, guilt is guilt and not too amenable to "I'm going to stop now" type approaches (not to disagree with Carol Ann or anything).

[Carol Esme]

Hello Leslie, Just look around the site and see what stories resonate with you. Count your lucky stars that Bel is so supportive. Not all of us are so fortunate.

[Alan]

Hi all

In all honesty, I am a he and I am Alan. I chose Leslie for the forum because from what I saw, everyone seemed to be girls and I didn't want to rock the boat and be the odd one out. Leslie is actually my real middle name, a man's name and I chose it as a man's name on here, but also because it isn't gender specific and I would fit in. Silly really, I should just be myself. All of this is new to me, I have dabbled in CD since childhood, but only really the past 2 weeks have I embraced who I am and felt able to share with others. Looking for an online community, I wanted to fit in and be accepted. I didn't really know what CDers were like or what they did, all I knew was I sometimes feel the need to wear ladies clothing and now my wife knows the extent, I have been experimenting with make up, wigs and breasts too. But underneath it all, I am a man, when I'm dressed, I feel very feminine, initially when I dress I do act a bit girly and take on some female mannerisms, but once I relax, have a beer with the wife, watch tv or whatever, soon I revert back and I am just a guy in a dress. I love the look and I love feeling feminine for a couple of hours, but I have no desire to be Leslie or 'she' or 'her'. I am Alan, man who loves to wear women's clothes and has a bit of a feminine streak. I don't feel like that will ever change and I feel kind of stupid now for trying to fit in and be something I'm not, I just want to be myself, but this is all new to me and it took some courage to join this community and all I had noticed was girl's names and was afraid of being different. I don't know if it's possible now to change my username to Alan, but if not, Leslie is a man's name and part of my RL given man's name.

I do not take any offence in here or any online CD community I have spoken to (opened a twitter account too) when people who don't know me have referred to me as 'she' and presumed that I take on a female gendered persona, I understand that that is very common and often a presumption. I wouldn't go out of my way to correct someone for it, it makes me uncomfortable in the sense that it is not my gender identity at all, even when dressed, but until I have chatted to someone enough to explain that, I'm not taking any offence at these common presumptions. I utterly respect all of you girls in here for having the courage of your convictions to become the gender identity that you feel you really are, whether part-time or full-time girls, I think it's great and would like to be friends in this together and realise now that we are all allowed to be different and do our own thing in different ways and be ourselves

Alan

[Anthony Simon]

There are a number of people here who've started off with guy's names and later on taken girl's names, so it's certainly possible to change. I can't find anything in the control panel that allows that, so probably you have to send a personal message to Silver Lady (the site manager).

I do understand a lot of what you're saying and have stuck with my name for a lot of reasons. Top of the list is I'm not quite sure who the woman is I turn into when I get dressed up. I'm not sure how you can name someone whose existence is kind of fugitive.

There are also a few other people here with guys names. Everyone has their reasons, and in a way it doesn't matter. The whole point, is like you say, to "do our own thing in different ways and be ourselves".

My CDing has always been a source of conflict for me. The whole business of being a man who likes to dress up brings up all sorts of issues of not being "man enough" - and also the sorts of issues you're talking about of just how much "woman" there really is in me.

My advice would be to take it as it comes. All this stuff seems to have suddenly exploded out of you. This, in itself, is bound to bring up conflicts - some of which may recede with time. It's a whole new world.

[Alan]

Thanks Anthony , thats is kind of how i feel. when i get dressed up after about 10 mins i naturally just revert back to being myself in feminine clothes which im very comfortable with.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Leslie, and welcome to the Forum!

If you would rather be called 'Alan' here, that is fine and that name is currently available; however, you must send me a PM requesting that name change.

Barring any name change, though, your user name and signature must match . . . in other words, you should not use 'Alan' as a signature while your user name is 'Leslie' as that just creates confusion - and the same is true with Bel(SO) referring to you as Alan in a post while your user name is actually Leslie.


- SL

[Latanya]

hello, hello leslie
welcome to the site i am latanya one of the loonies on here
feel free to call me anya cause my friends all do and hope u enjoy ur time here!

[Karin]

Wow, quite a read!

Hiya 'Leslie'
to the forum, it's nice to meet you

I was given my name by my wife, but I picked the spelling hahaha. At the time, I knew I needed one, but it did feel a bit weird - in a good way, for about ten minutes hahaha. Like Paula says, it's something that you 'grow confidently' into? Then again, I'm a full time 'she' in my head so I would say that

[Carol Esme]

Hi Alan/Leslie
If you make your preference clear we'll fall into line I'm sure. The polite default in the CD community is to call someone "she" when they are in female dress. Please don't take offence if we slip up sometimes with you. I'm definitely a man dressed or not but I strive to present as a woman when I'm dressed as one and sometimes that involves thinking like one too. You'll find every possible variation on the theme in here. Have a good explore around.