Oh, look.. Another new girl!
Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:42 am
Hi everyone!
Yes, it’s another new girl. Well, OK. I’m not new to cross-dressing (although it feels like it –more on that later) but I am new to this site, having discovered it only weeks ago whilst reading Stana’s blog.
I won’t get too detailed here –I’ll save that for some of the other sections, such as ‘Your Beginnings’. I’ve also started a blog ( I know: I’m on the trailing edge of the blogosphere –by about a decade. BTW, keep that term in mind –decade- it’ll come in handy later on in my intro) but it’s by no means ready for public release just yet.
Since I’m feeling so feminine at the moment, I’ll tell you that I’m still 49, divorced in ’95 after a 12-year marriage and I live in the PNW. As is the case with many of us, my gender ponderings –and thus my dressing- occur in cycles. The earliest of these that I can recall took place in my childhood, probably early teens.
It remained fairly tame and my opportunities (and my understanding) quite limited for many years. I don’t think it was until well into my marriage (figures, huh?) that I started having dreams, desires, inclinations, etc. I’d come home from work one day to find that my future ex wife had discovered some lingerie that wasn’t her own. She confronted me about it and naturally assumed that I’d been messing about with another woman. I weighed my options for what seemed like forever but was really mere minutes. I’ve always tried to be an honest person, so I told her the truth –that it was mine. Now I know that we’ve all felt –or continue to feel- alienated at one point or another during our unique journeys. Alienation –how appropriate in that from that night on, I felt I knew –beyond the shadow of a doubt- what it would feel like to be an actual extraterrestrial stranded on Earth. Thankfully, that feeling didn’t last long as I found myself living in an apartment less than two months later. The divorce was finalised six months after that.
So after sorting through the ashes, my new life began with joining the local T support group and seeing a counselor. As I look back on it, I think the counselor got the short end of the stick as he ended up taking an extended sabbatical a few months into our sessions. Hmm…
I had assembled a wardrobe of two or three outfits, a wig, three pairs of shoes, and various accessories. I’d also finally had my other ear pierced. I learned enough makeup skills to pass from a distance and learned how to walk in 3-inch heels (and later 4-in) without needing traction the next morning. I also enjoyed a number of positive outings with the local T group.
Then it happened. The cycle had bottomed out. I don’t recall having made some sort of conscious decision, but I’ll never forget that night in the rain two years later when I found myself handing nearly everything I’d assembled to the Goodwill attendant. I had a long established support group well within my grasp but I was so convinced I was doing the right thing, that I’d never see another cycle.. I never reached out to any of my T friends.
Well, guess what. Yeah, you know all too well ‘what’, huh?
After having been on a drabbatical of my own for a little over a decade (there’s that word again..’decade’. I told you remembering it would come in handy!), I find myself peeking out from behind the curtain in preparation for my second act. Just as before, I can’t put my finger on a readily identifiable trigger. The only thing I can come up with is that it did seem to happen within days of my 50th birthday.
D’oh! I mean…uh… My 49th birthday. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
So that’s what I mean when I say I feel like I’m new to cross-dressing. I feel like Mel Gibson in that movie where he wakes up after having been in suspended animation for years. There’s so much to relearn and reacquire! Makeup skills..! Wardrobe..! Wig(s)..! Forms..! Och.. Even the concept seems to have changed. Foundation primer..? Eye shadow primer..? I thought foundation WAS the primer.
Well, didja make it all the way through…? Cool!
M _/!
** Text color removed, see our Etiquette Guidelines in the Ask Us section. - SL
Yes, it’s another new girl. Well, OK. I’m not new to cross-dressing (although it feels like it –more on that later) but I am new to this site, having discovered it only weeks ago whilst reading Stana’s blog.
I won’t get too detailed here –I’ll save that for some of the other sections, such as ‘Your Beginnings’. I’ve also started a blog ( I know: I’m on the trailing edge of the blogosphere –by about a decade. BTW, keep that term in mind –decade- it’ll come in handy later on in my intro) but it’s by no means ready for public release just yet.
Since I’m feeling so feminine at the moment, I’ll tell you that I’m still 49, divorced in ’95 after a 12-year marriage and I live in the PNW. As is the case with many of us, my gender ponderings –and thus my dressing- occur in cycles. The earliest of these that I can recall took place in my childhood, probably early teens.
It remained fairly tame and my opportunities (and my understanding) quite limited for many years. I don’t think it was until well into my marriage (figures, huh?) that I started having dreams, desires, inclinations, etc. I’d come home from work one day to find that my future ex wife had discovered some lingerie that wasn’t her own. She confronted me about it and naturally assumed that I’d been messing about with another woman. I weighed my options for what seemed like forever but was really mere minutes. I’ve always tried to be an honest person, so I told her the truth –that it was mine. Now I know that we’ve all felt –or continue to feel- alienated at one point or another during our unique journeys. Alienation –how appropriate in that from that night on, I felt I knew –beyond the shadow of a doubt- what it would feel like to be an actual extraterrestrial stranded on Earth. Thankfully, that feeling didn’t last long as I found myself living in an apartment less than two months later. The divorce was finalised six months after that.
So after sorting through the ashes, my new life began with joining the local T support group and seeing a counselor. As I look back on it, I think the counselor got the short end of the stick as he ended up taking an extended sabbatical a few months into our sessions. Hmm…
I had assembled a wardrobe of two or three outfits, a wig, three pairs of shoes, and various accessories. I’d also finally had my other ear pierced. I learned enough makeup skills to pass from a distance and learned how to walk in 3-inch heels (and later 4-in) without needing traction the next morning. I also enjoyed a number of positive outings with the local T group.
Then it happened. The cycle had bottomed out. I don’t recall having made some sort of conscious decision, but I’ll never forget that night in the rain two years later when I found myself handing nearly everything I’d assembled to the Goodwill attendant. I had a long established support group well within my grasp but I was so convinced I was doing the right thing, that I’d never see another cycle.. I never reached out to any of my T friends.
Well, guess what. Yeah, you know all too well ‘what’, huh?
After having been on a drabbatical of my own for a little over a decade (there’s that word again..’decade’. I told you remembering it would come in handy!), I find myself peeking out from behind the curtain in preparation for my second act. Just as before, I can’t put my finger on a readily identifiable trigger. The only thing I can come up with is that it did seem to happen within days of my 50th birthday.
D’oh! I mean…uh… My 49th birthday. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
So that’s what I mean when I say I feel like I’m new to cross-dressing. I feel like Mel Gibson in that movie where he wakes up after having been in suspended animation for years. There’s so much to relearn and reacquire! Makeup skills..! Wardrobe..! Wig(s)..! Forms..! Och.. Even the concept seems to have changed. Foundation primer..? Eye shadow primer..? I thought foundation WAS the primer.
Well, didja make it all the way through…? Cool!
M _/!
** Text color removed, see our Etiquette Guidelines in the Ask Us section. - SL
to our part of heaven 