Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi everyone :D I am in need of some insight from some SO's. My hubby told me about 2 wks ago, but it wasnt a surprise I new he always had that need. To start at the beginning I went away for the weekend, and I forgot my insurance card, so I had to back track and come home. When I walked through the front door and into our bedroom their was a woman's outfit on the bed you can guess what happened next I wanted to know where she was lol then he told me. Please understand I was 19 only married for one year it broke my heart, and he promised he wouldnt do it again, and he would throw away all his clothes. There was just one more incident when I found the clothes and he burned them that night! That was over 10 yrs ago. Well he recently revealed to me that he started wearing panties again, and I am actually fine with it, but I have concerns just like many SO's out there. What if he doesnt want me anymore? He says he does. He never buys me pretty clothes, and he says he wants to start, but I have nothing beautiful. He never has liked me in make-up, and now all of a sudden he loves it when I put it on? Right now we both are new at this, and I am so in love with him. I just have so many emotions right now. Any advice would be good! Thanks.

Hi Sammy, to the forum.

Note that some CDs will forgo buying such items for their spouse because they become tempted to buy for themselves. If your husband tried to stop (which he can't do completely BTW) then not buying may have been one way try and stop.

Or the makeup and clothing issues may have been out of jealousy.

He may like the makeup now because he knows how important it is to some (including CDs/himself?) with regard to how they feel about themselves.

All speculation.

He'd have to be honest with himself in order to determine his reasoning.

Welcome Sammy, I hope we can help you on what can at times be a difficult path, but I am sure it will be a fruitful one if you travel it together.

Cross dressing is a compulsian, not a choice, for what ever reason it is not something that we can give up, I know like most others I have tried. The very fact that your husband has tried to give up cross dressing, indeed disposing of all his girl clothes in such a spectacular way, I think is a sign of how much he loves you, and how important your marriage is to him.

I have to agree with Donna about a possible reason for his new found interest in buying you things and the make up. Another possible reason is that he was frightened that showing too much interest would arrouse your suspicions. As Donna says of course this is all speculation, only you and he can find the real answers. Be happy that he is interested in you and not totally self absorbed now he feels allowed back into this strange world we inhabit

Hi Sammy

Welcome to the forum, I am glad you found us in the chat room today, it was a pleasure talking to you. I am sure both of you will find answers here so please feel free to ask any thing you want.

Regards

Hi Sammy!

I agree with Donna.

Welcome!

Andrea

Sammy,

He has hidden himself for years, desperately.
He is scared witless that someone will find out and broadcast it to all the world.
He feels guilt that goes to his very core.
He has done everything he knows how to do to stop and he can not.
He has tried as hard as he can to maintain "protective coloration", which may come out as "I hate weird people, etc."
Does not let on to any that there is any interest in anything feminine.
And most of all, he does not understand "why me?".

You are his best friend and he loves you enough to confide in you; that, in and of itself, is a huge first step for him!

He can not stop! He has fought with it, denied it, purged it, and he can not stop.

Some of the most important ingredients in all of this are love, understanding, acceptance and communication. From your post, I see all of that and more.

I wish you both the best and we would love to hear from him as well!

Andrea

Hi, Sammy, and welcome to our family on the internet,

I know it is a scary place to be with a lot of questions and most likely the wrong assumed answers.

If you PM (Private Message) Silver Lady with the request, she can add SO to your name and allow you into an area designed for the partners of CDers.

See if your hubby will join. The path is easier if both of you are walking it.

Hope to chat with you and hope I can be of some help.

Leeza

hy all i am sammys hubby ive read a lot on this site and have learned a lot so far thank yall very much.

Welcome Sammy,
I aggree with all the comments. In addition I think you will find quite a number of members here that have long term marriages (over 35 yrs myself). Fear of loosing you may have been the drive behind many of your husbands actions. At the present time I cannot dress and the stess on the relationship.
I hope you can see the actions of your husband may not be harmful . Try to build real communication. Baby steps for you both.
Good Luck

Hi to Sammy and Mrs. Francis--
Welcome to both of you. There are some really good posts on here, and Andrea's especially struck me.

It is very hard to handle this, particularly in the beginning. It can be worked out and compromised, as you can see by reading on here. There are no guarantees, but goodwill on both sides is really important.

Welcome Sammy!

It is hard to know what to do, but take the journey together and stay honest. Encourage honesty in your SO--my wife & I have been married 10 years and together nearly 15--and I was upfront about my need, but only recently started to accept how important it is in my life.

We rather enjoy shopping together--at first I was ashamed, but now it brings us closer together.

It will not always be easy, but you can always get in touch for support. You have found a great place for open, honest advice! Feel free to PM any time.
Hugs,
Nancy

I just wanted to thank everyone! I feel very welcome here, and hope to join in the chat again. Hubby and I are doing well with the cummunicating, and I just hope that it always goes this smoothly. He now knows some of my fears and it feels good to get them out. I dont want to lose him to something so silly. I mean there could be worse things like a cheater, a beater, etc... I think I will enjoy the support here for yrs to come.

Hi Mrs. Francis and welcome to the forum!

Looking forward to your posts and please do drop into the chat room. There are so many wonderful, beautiful people here to share with, and that makes this a very special place!

Communication is so important for the both of you! I am so sad when I hear of one or the other of a couple who turns away, "not wanting to talk about it". Loneliness is so painful and it is so easy to jump to wrong conclusions when we avoid it, rejecting understanding.

I am so happy that you have gained more understanding here and that you feel comfortable.

I wish for everyone a beautiful holiday season and a wonderful new year!!

Hugs to all!

Andrea

Mrs. Francis wrote:hy all i am sammys hubby ive read a lot on this site and have learned a lot so far thank yall very much.

Hi Mrs. Francis, to the forum.

Hi Mrs Francis

Welcome, I am very glad to see you and you wife here, I know we can help you both come to terms with this gift. Ask any questions you wish, I or one of your sisters will be more than happy to answer them.