My intro (too long)
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 1:31 pm
I'm also guilty of shamelessly lurking for weeks before finally posting something, so in a bid to atone, here goes nothin':
I'm not young (baby boomer, and that's all I'm saying), but I've been CDing since I was a child. As a young adult, I was quite compulsive about it, but was totally in the closet. I would dress in private -- and, yes, it had a definite sexual component -- and periodically go through the guilt/purge cycle. I was pretty unhappy. When I married, I didn't tell my wife for same reason that most don't: I was so in love that any other desires were simply overwhelmed by the intensity, and that convinced me that I would never want to do it again. Yeah, right.
The truth is, I didn't do it all that much after I was married, and after a number of years, I finally told my wife. Her initial response was to really try to understand it, and really try to be supportive. As for me, I never kidded myself that I could pass as a female. In my imagination/fantasies, I was a beautiful young woman, but when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a kind of silly looking guy. Still, I have to confess that after I finally confided in her, I was guilty of going off the deep end, and made a complete backside of myself on more than one occasion.
And though she tried, my wife was never able to be actually supportive (and by that I mean that she never was able to encourage my behavior), and for the first couple of years after I came out to her, her true feelings vacillated between perplexed annoyance, and a kind of brittle support.
Oh dear, I see that this is already running too long. I should tell you right from the beginning that even in "guy mode," I've been called Chatty Cathy. Sorry.
Anyway, my wife and I really do love each other, and both of us have made compromises to make our marriage work. Over time, she has accepted the quirky parts of my personality, and lets me know in a thousand ways that she loves me no less for it. For my part, I've pretty much abandoned any thoughts of dressing completely as a lost cause. On the other hand, I finally acknowledged to myself that there is a lot more girl in me than I had previously been willing to admit, and I decided not to repress her -- at least not as much. I underdress (panties, hose, occasionally a girdle), and I wear a lot of women's clothes that aren't readily identifiable as such. I wear my hair long, and I have it done (colored and styled) at a nice salon. My long-time hairdresser also waxes my brows which keeps my Andy Rooney tendencies at bay. Rarely I treat myself to a manicure, including polish in a very low-key color. A few discreet cosmetics, a fondness for having pretty things around me, and that's basically it. With all of that, anyone who isn't looking closely would never see anything other than a middle-aged dude who has no stake in looking or acting like anything approaching macho. So far, it's worked for me -- and for those I care about. Love to all,
Tamara Segunda
I'm not young (baby boomer, and that's all I'm saying), but I've been CDing since I was a child. As a young adult, I was quite compulsive about it, but was totally in the closet. I would dress in private -- and, yes, it had a definite sexual component -- and periodically go through the guilt/purge cycle. I was pretty unhappy. When I married, I didn't tell my wife for same reason that most don't: I was so in love that any other desires were simply overwhelmed by the intensity, and that convinced me that I would never want to do it again. Yeah, right.
The truth is, I didn't do it all that much after I was married, and after a number of years, I finally told my wife. Her initial response was to really try to understand it, and really try to be supportive. As for me, I never kidded myself that I could pass as a female. In my imagination/fantasies, I was a beautiful young woman, but when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a kind of silly looking guy. Still, I have to confess that after I finally confided in her, I was guilty of going off the deep end, and made a complete backside of myself on more than one occasion.
And though she tried, my wife was never able to be actually supportive (and by that I mean that she never was able to encourage my behavior), and for the first couple of years after I came out to her, her true feelings vacillated between perplexed annoyance, and a kind of brittle support.
Oh dear, I see that this is already running too long. I should tell you right from the beginning that even in "guy mode," I've been called Chatty Cathy. Sorry.
Anyway, my wife and I really do love each other, and both of us have made compromises to make our marriage work. Over time, she has accepted the quirky parts of my personality, and lets me know in a thousand ways that she loves me no less for it. For my part, I've pretty much abandoned any thoughts of dressing completely as a lost cause. On the other hand, I finally acknowledged to myself that there is a lot more girl in me than I had previously been willing to admit, and I decided not to repress her -- at least not as much. I underdress (panties, hose, occasionally a girdle), and I wear a lot of women's clothes that aren't readily identifiable as such. I wear my hair long, and I have it done (colored and styled) at a nice salon. My long-time hairdresser also waxes my brows which keeps my Andy Rooney tendencies at bay. Rarely I treat myself to a manicure, including polish in a very low-key color. A few discreet cosmetics, a fondness for having pretty things around me, and that's basically it. With all of that, anyone who isn't looking closely would never see anything other than a middle-aged dude who has no stake in looking or acting like anything approaching macho. So far, it's worked for me -- and for those I care about. Love to all,
Tamara Segunda
Seriously, it wasn't long at all (what can seem long in the writing is often fairly short in the reading). That was a cool little intro, Tamara. You seem to have come to a good place in your life, a sort of balance. Good for you! That your wife knows is a plus, for sure; it's one less obstacle to dialogue.
I hope to hear more from you soon.
, let me too 
you to the forum. Hay I see nothing wrong with your crossdressing and as long as you are happy 
thats great. CDing has many degrees of dressing, some it's all out or just a little like wearing panties which ever makes you happy and are comfortable with (and your wife). 
Carol Ann