Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi,

I'm new to this so bear with my ramblings!

I've known about my partner's CD for a year, and we've talked through so much. I am just preparing to see him dressed for the first time, soon. I've suggested we have a night in together, get a take-out, and I can do his make-up and stuff (so I can take part?), what does anyone out there think?

I'm a little nervous (I know he will be too) and not sure what to expect?

Kaza,
Welcome and thanks for you being accepting of our "gift" so far. Since you are an SO I will defer to our other SO's on the forum for their input as they are the true experts. I just want to say thanks for posting and hope you will be tolerent and maintain an open mind. This is something that for a lot of us is a deep seated part of our psychic and needs to be nurtured gently and who better to provide that gentle understanding than an educated, understanding SO.
God Bless and please come back and let us know how it goes!
Virginia

Hi Kaza,

Welcome to the forum

Glad to have another SO join in

I'm a little nervous (I know he will be too) and not sure what to expect?

Like I mentioned during our chat, the first time my husband dressed for me, I helped with the whole process; I did his makeup, I picked out our clothes, shoes, helped him with his wig, we even shaved our legs together ......that way (I felt) it was more of a gradual process and I wasn't shocked by just seeing him walk in the room fully transformed. We both dressed up together I feel that it helped take some of the "focus" off my husband and he didn't feel so "on the spot", since we "both" were dressing up to the 9's
I also think it may help "both" of you to feel more at ease, if you share the "slow" process together.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best

Hi Kaza !

I think one thing, a crossdresser appreciates the most, is his wife or girlfriend somehow participating his "hobby" Men tend to show their love for their SOs by DOING something and doing your husbands make up or helping him to buy some clothing etc. proves him that you are doing your best trying to understand and accept him. Your plan sounds great and I wish you both the best of luck !

PS. My gf did my first make up and taught me how to do it properly. I´m forever grateful

Joanna

Hi, Kaza,

I'm an SO too, and fairly new to it as you are. It's helpful that you have been doing a lot of talking about it.

I think that going the route gradually is important. I found that initially I had days when I felt okay about the crossdressing, and other days when I felt confused and wanted to ignore it for a while. But, I never wanted to hurt my husband's feelings when I felt down about it. We would discuss the good and bad emotions.

Maybe you can just do make-up tonight and see how you both feel. (It also helps to make a few funny, jokes or comments - this may help to break the ice). Maybe another day you can pick out an outfit for him to wear. Maybe you can take a day and go shopping together and get something special for him to wear. My husband and I really enjoy our shopping trips together. We may just window shop, but he loves to wander through the clothes racks, or look at the bra displays, or check out the new heel fashions.

When you get past the initial feelings of doubt and uncertainty, you will probably find that you are having a good time with your mate, and you will have a closer relationship.

Have a great evening (maybe you can start out with a little sip of wine!), and we're keeping our fingers crossed for you! Let us know how it goes!

Hugs,

Mrs. Missy(SO)

Hi Kaza, let me also you to the forum. I'll let the SO help you out for tonights get together as each one is different for each couple. Good luck and have some fun, Carol Ann

Kaza, First, Welcome, welcome ,welcome.!!!!! I think what you are planning ,will be a positive event for both of you. Being an active participant is so positive, there is noyhing better. I can't wait to hear about your evening, I know it will be highly emotional. Slow and methodical. Try to have a siginal to each other that your feeling overwhelmed and need a minute. Have fun and let us know how it goes for you. Been there and done this... it will be fun!!!!! ...........Kristen

Hiya Kaza,

Welcomeeee So nice you support ya partner, if only everyone was as nice as you. I think it'll be cool for you and him to do his makeup I think we would all love someone to help us do our makeup

*hugs*

Sophie xx

Like I said, wow! Didn't expect such a response, I've tried to join a couple of other sites to get this kind of advice and not really got anywhere before. Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement! It is nice to hear from both SOs and CDs - I appreciate it a lot.

It's no big deal but just to let you know that we're not married - happily living in sin! To be honest, my partner's ex-wife was never told about about his 'secret', so I feel very privileged that he felt he could share with me - this tells me more about our relationship than a thousand words could?

Anyway, I'm slowing building up to 'the night'. We went into town today and I took my partner round some shops and (as well as asking him what he thought of clothes for me) I slipped in the occasional "See anything you fancy?" and commented on a couple of shoe shops that do larger sizes. I think he was quite pleased.

The only worry I think I have now (believe me I have been through the whole range of emotions and paranoid worries that I gather most SOs have, but I think these are in the past now) is that I know he has a variety of clothes (I asked him about his tastes, etc) and I'm not too keen on the sound of his 'clubbing' gear? I don't want to offend him, and I know this is just my personal taste, but I'm worried it sounds a little tacky? I like to glam it up for nights out and I'm known for being a little daring but I don't think I'm ready to see the club wear on my partner. Some of you may think this is mean but if one of my girlfriend's were to ask me what I thought of an outfit I would be honest and I know they would be honest with me too. Anyway, I guess I'll cross that bridge...

I'll keep you posted with goings on - and thanks again to all that replied!

Hi Kaza,

Welcome to the forum!

See the picture on the left? That's me. I look as though I'll be goint out "clubbing" momentarily. I'm not (it's a Halloween pic). You bring up a good point, though; many SO's I've chatted with are definitely not, shall we say, enamored, of their partner's fashion sense and dressing style... too over-the-top for many SO's (hey, for those of you in the peanut gallery, I know I'm guilty of this, too ). There seems to be a big "fantasy" element in the way many crossdressers dress and choose to present themselves. It's never meant to be intentionally offensive, though. I think you should feel at ease giving your partner a few "pointers" (including constructive criticism of his appearance) if realism rather than fantasy is his goal (and, of course, if you're okay with the idea of "integrating" CD'ing into your life as a couple).

Anyway, again, welcome aboard. I'll be looking forward to hearing more from you. Good luck on the night you'll be meeting "her" for the first time (and you're right: he'll be nervous as hell).

Love,
CJ

Kaza,

First, let me extend my most heartfelt gratitude to YOU for your attitude regarding your acceptance of your husband's other side. He's a BLESSED man to have such acceptance and I hope he never lets you forget how much it means to him.

I'm a CD and I can agree with you about your husband's 'clubbing gear' and seeing him dressed for the first time in an outfit like that. I'm not into the 'club scene' myself, but lean more into the elegant looks, which seems to be what you've described as the type that's YOUR personal preference.

With this in mind and the approach of "the night" that you've set up, you have what appears to be a golden opportunity to show him what a LADY should look like by dressing and making him up accordingly. It might even be possible to 'mould' his tastes around such a look and guide him in how to achieve it. Your opinion?

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd