Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi. I’m going by the name Ada. I'm a new member and I am so happy this place exists. I recently found out that my father is a cross dresser and has been for years.

Hi Ada B First and formost I understand the situation you find yourself in. I know because I have been there with our dauther. My wife slipped one Sunday and told her of my crossdressing, of course all the questions came flying about WHY and does he want a sex change. Funny thing after all was said and done she just said "cool". No more has been said one way or the other, I fear she may tell her 3 brothers but will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Ada B your father is no less a man now because of his crossdressing then he ever was. I know I'm not making much sence but he still loves you very much and I hope you can understand him and still love him. Why we do what we do (crossdress) I don't believe anyone of us could give you a correct anwser. Trust and love, respects Carol Ann

Hi Ada,

Welcome to the board! Now, this is a first; I don't think I've ever seen daughters in these forums. I hope you'll find the info and support you're looking for in here. I think you will; it's an awesome group of folks you've found in this forum.

I know there are many parents here wondering about the ways in which to go about telling their children (or not) about crossdressing. Your own point of view will be more than helpful, I imagine.

Are you familiar, Ada, with a book called Dress Codes: Of Three Girlhoods--My Mother's, My Father's And Mine? It's a memoir by a woman who found out her father is a crossdresser. It was published last April. The author's name is Noelle Howey. ISBN: 0312422202

Anyway, again, welcome to the forum and I hope we'll hear more from you.

Love,
Christina

Hello Ada,

Welcome to the forum.
We are very glad and fortunate to have you here.

Hope you join right in with posts and discussions!

Lefty

Welcome Ada. I left a message for you in "Coping for CD's"

Thank you all very much for your responses. I am amazed by how quickly everyone replied. I did not expect to hear back so soon. I have felt so isolated lately and I’m not feeling alone anymore. Anyway my point is…it really meant a lot. Carol Ann you were making perfect sense at the end. I understood your words and I agree. Have you said the same thing to your daughter? If not, I think you or you wife should. I think it would mean allot to her. Does she know how you feel about keeping the matter private...not sharing it with your sons? Personally when I first found out (I stumbled across my fathers wig and such by accident in his home office when I was looking for an extra comp mouse...pretty late at night) I wanted to talk to someone about it. Its pretty hard to keep this kind of thing to yourself, but my parents let me know how important it was not to speak to anyone about it and my love for my dad...well I could not tell anyone because I know how important it is for him that I keep it private. Let her know how you feel. You don't want your sons to know yet, but beyond that it is not the right way for them to find out, for them. I was a wee bit confused by one part…does your daughter only know about the CDing or does she think you are getting a sex change as well? Also how old is your daughter? If I’m asking too many questions feel free to ignore them. I hope I don't sound like a know-it-all or condescending...I'm just offering what I can. I don't know your family, you do.... CJ thank you very much for the book recommendation. Thank you everyone, this is such a good place.

Ada,

Thanks for joining up here. Your father is fortunate to have you as a daughter.

I'm kinda in the "telling the kids as early as possible" camp.

Based on your own personal experience, when would you have wanted to be told by your father about his crossdressing?

Yeah.....

I am SO VERY happy to have you here Ada.... As Sharon stated above when we started this forum we had a section for family members, but had no family members here to use it.... anyhow we REALLY wanted to have this forum to be a place for ALL who deal with crossdressing in their lives and this most certainly includes children of crossdressers....

I hope you are the first of many to find this forum....

Now, I would like to say to you (for you).....

Is there anything we can help you with? Ask away. The members here are great and very open..... If you need some explainations just ask, if you need to understand better, just ask...

I look forward to hearing from you.

Take care.

Shannon

Yikes...



That's me, caboose.

Sorry I missed you this morning Ada. As usual the AWESOME board here welcomed you with accepting and open arms. This is such a great place!!

There's usually someone on the porch to welcome people when they come by.

I'd like to add my welcome to the incredibly beautiful, caring, and warm welcomes others have extended to you. It's so cool to have you here!!

Having you here is definitely a great experience for those who have children and don't know what to do about telling them. You can also show how it affects you (as a child of a CD). Some CD'd parents think their children will not forgive them or won't accept them. Your input is VERY important and also very much appreciated.

lol.. no pressure!

Thanks again for surfing in!!! Hopefully you'll surf in often.

Oh... one more thingy!! Don't ever think you're asking to many questions or too much because by answering questions we all get to learn more about ourselves. :idea: :idea: :idea:

If I ever have a daughter I hope she'd be as loving as you are. Your parents are fortunate. They can also be proud of themselves because they've raised you very well!

Beauty

HI Ada,

First off I wanted to just give you a huge cyber hug for being such a great daughter for wanting to learn more about this. So many people just close their minds to new information and although it is scary and new right now, your willingness to educate yourself shows alot of compassion and love for your dad. I am the only daughter; only child; and although my dad is not a cd, my husband is. I certainly know that being an only child does present different situations and unless someone is an only child it is hard for others to understand just how tight a 3 person family can become. You really, really get to know each other becuase there are no siblings and you each become very dependant on each other for love and support. I can completely empathize with that feelings of being left out of the loop of information.

I actually just finished writing a post about the whole 'children' issue in the SO part of this forum, so I won't go into repeating it again. But, I hope that this list and the conforting words of others will help give you some of the anwers you seek.

Most sincerely

Kathy in Canada

I really don't know the answer to your question...I'm still sorta...well its still pretty new to me...my father wants to talk to me about it when I get home from college...i'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it with him...but this site has definitely helped me in a big way feel more grounded...But...I don't feel like I can answer your question just yet...give me time...and when I have an opinion on this I'll let you know
ps- thank you for asking...this is something I needed to ponder

Aba sweetheart, we ALL will be here for you when ever you need someone. Never be afraid to ask no matter how small you may think it is.
We are here for you and anyone else who needs word of comfort, hugs Carol Ann

Yes Aba, I agree with Carol Ann. We all like to support each other.

Ada,

I sent you a private email concerning your post but don't know if you ever got it so I thought I'd respond here. I have a web site that might supply you with answers to a lot of the questions you have. It's clean and there's a ton of information there that where you might find something that will be of benefit to you. Let me know if you find any of it to be helpful.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd