Hello From Long Island
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:27 pm
Hello all
My name is Mary Jane and I guess we all have interesting stories. Here is mine:
I started dressing when I was a child (8-10). I used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, not sure why. I was kind of a deep kid; I would sit there reading, thinking, staring at the double mirrors, and eventually, exploring the hamper. I would put on my mothers girdle, stockings and other items and look at myself. I distinctly remember a conversation with a bunch of friends where we all answered the question "if we could be anyone else for 1 day, who would it be?". I turned a few heads, especially a 40 something neighbor, when I said I would love to be a girl. Not too normal for a 10 year old.
The crossdressing continued on and off for almost 35 years. Up until 8 years ago I had bottled the feelings up in a corner of my brain that I just did not consciously visit. I didn't confront the reality of it, but it managed to continue, especially when I was free to be me. Then in 1997 after a long period of self improvement (lost 105 lbs!) my CD past came blazing into my consciousness.
I immediately came out to my therapist at the time, and then my wife. I even considered coming out to my children (now 15, 13, and 9). Sanity brought me back and I spent some time and money trying to figure out how my wife and I could cope with this change in our lives. She was not completely accepting and not completely condemning, our relationshhip was rocked but we are still rolling. What isn't cool is that for the first time in my life the crossdressing has almost disappeared. I also gained back the weight I lost. Not sure if there is a connection, but there you have it.
My reason for being here: I want to find an outlet that seems to have been lost. Life is complicated with children, but I want to be me. I view this group as my first step back.
Thanks for listening to my long intro.
MJ
My name is Mary Jane and I guess we all have interesting stories. Here is mine:
I started dressing when I was a child (8-10). I used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, not sure why. I was kind of a deep kid; I would sit there reading, thinking, staring at the double mirrors, and eventually, exploring the hamper. I would put on my mothers girdle, stockings and other items and look at myself. I distinctly remember a conversation with a bunch of friends where we all answered the question "if we could be anyone else for 1 day, who would it be?". I turned a few heads, especially a 40 something neighbor, when I said I would love to be a girl. Not too normal for a 10 year old.
The crossdressing continued on and off for almost 35 years. Up until 8 years ago I had bottled the feelings up in a corner of my brain that I just did not consciously visit. I didn't confront the reality of it, but it managed to continue, especially when I was free to be me. Then in 1997 after a long period of self improvement (lost 105 lbs!) my CD past came blazing into my consciousness.
I immediately came out to my therapist at the time, and then my wife. I even considered coming out to my children (now 15, 13, and 9). Sanity brought me back and I spent some time and money trying to figure out how my wife and I could cope with this change in our lives. She was not completely accepting and not completely condemning, our relationshhip was rocked but we are still rolling. What isn't cool is that for the first time in my life the crossdressing has almost disappeared. I also gained back the weight I lost. Not sure if there is a connection, but there you have it.
My reason for being here: I want to find an outlet that seems to have been lost. Life is complicated with children, but I want to be me. I view this group as my first step back.
Thanks for listening to my long intro.
MJ
My aunt told the car that boys couldn't wear them or something like that and I was like, "Well I am." The car got kind of quiet for a while and the game stopped. 
Carol Ann