Crossdressers-Haven.com

I just stopped by to say hello. I have occasionally cross-dressed for more than a year now, going for a full female presentation, including voice and mannerisms. I have practiced this on video and with digital photographs to perfect my skill at female impersonation. After practicing sporatically for several months, I finally had the opportunity to perform a female role in an amateur theatrical presentation, which I did quite convincingly.

The female character I created, whom I call Maggie, comes across as a nice, pleasant, good-looking, friendly, decent woman. She has been warmly accepted by everyone who sees her, with the notable exception of my wife.

I have gone to a few TG/CD support group meetings and have been able to pass reasonably well in public. I was proud of how well I was able to carry it off.

Although I am very fond of Maggie and still enjoy looking at her pictures, I feel that I have done just about all I need to do with her. I do not feel any strong need to cross dress. This leads me to conclude that I probably am not really a TG or CD, but more in the nature of an actor who enjoys the artistic aspects of female impersonation and expressing his feminine side now and then.

Am I unique in this attitude, or are there others who feel the same way?

Maggie

Hi Maggie,

Welcome.

I've seen you on the CDDF before. Glad you made it over to visit.

Beauty

WOW..Maggie,

Very Impresive..wish I could have caught your show..

Lefty

Hi Maggie,

I'm sorry . . . I didn't answer your question.

Part of me wonders if you're like I was. I recall when I tried to explain my CDing away. Now I just accept that I'm wired different. Time proves it over and over, but I try to act like it's something I logically control. The other part of me thinks you're telling the truth and this is who you are. Neither voice is louder, but I've never heard this before so I'll have to think about it.

Acting and enjoying the artistic aspects of female impersonation . . . hmmm.

Beauty

Hi Maggie--
You and I just traded emails about your website. Welcome to this forum!

You are surely not unique in your conclusions about your femme self. But here, I would think that most of the "girls" are more closely identified with their female presentation.

But if you get something out of our writings, feel free to contribute! I hope you do stay around--I enjoyed your posts and your website.
Anita

"Although I am very fond of Maggie and still enjoy looking at her pictures, I feel that I have done just about all I need to do with her. I do not feel any strong need to cross dress. This leads me to conclude that I probably am not really a TG or CD, but more in the nature of an actor who enjoys the artistic aspects of female impersonation and expressing his feminine side now and then. "

Only time will tell. Most of us, but not all, started CDing when we were quite young or in our early teens. A smaller number of us started at an older age. It appears that there is a wide spectrum of crossdressing behavior with some of us doing it a lot and others much less, some who wish to present as women and others who like wearing the clothes without the need to pass. It's not (if you excuse the pun) one size fits all. I think that this forum is a good place to discover where you are or aren't in the spectrum.

I "followed" your story on the other forum and wondered how it would turn out. You expressed the same thought that you weren't a TG or CD and it seemed that you were just going to close out this "chapter" of your life as Maggie and move on. I thought that you might have some trouble doing that. You've found a good place to sort things out, this forum has a great collective mind! Again, welcome!

Hi Maggie, welcome to the forum


Hugzz,
Geena

Maggie and I for one would like to have your input on the various threads that are on this forum. Don't just pass through. Even if you are not a CD, TV, TG, TS or what have you, we still value friends as we do our SO's, wives, and families.

Hi Maggie,

Welcome to the forum! Hope you have fun exploring.

Love,
CJ

Maggie,
Welcome to the forum. I read your post, and instantly thought...If she's surfing the web to find support groups, then why is she saying she's not a CD? I'm not sure that you are a CD, but then why are you here?
I hope you find the information you need. We'll all be here if you need us.

XOXO, Amber

Hey Maggie,
First and foremost, Welcome to the forum!
I will admit, you're the first person I have met (online) who approaches CDing without compulsion. If you find letting go of this part of yourself to be difficult, there's a lot of gals here who can help. This is a wonderful place for support.

Hope you have fun. Enjoy.
Hugs,
Kyra

Amber(SO) wrote:Maggie,
Welcome to the forum. I read your post, and instantly thought...If she's surfing the web to find support groups, then why is she saying she's not a CD? I'm not sure that you are a CD, but then why are you here?
I hope you find the information you need. We'll all be here if you need us.

XOXO, Amber

Good question. Maybe I am a CD, maybe not, depending on how you define the term. Based on what I have read on various forums and in talking to CD's and TG's whom I have meet at the few support group meetings I have attended, I am not typical. I have yet to find anyone who approaches this in quite the same way that I do. In fact, when I tried to explain myself on the Cross Dressers Discussion Forum last year, I was roundly flamed and accused of having a multiple personality disorder.

Basically, I don't consider "Maggie" to be "me," but rather a fictitious character whom I have created. I feel that I am a man looking at a separate female person. Now that I have a lot of good pictures of her, I can admire the pictures without actually having to dress up. I am very fond of my creation, just as if I had painted a picture like DaVinci's Mona Lisa. I have great affection for the warmth and love that she expresses in her pictures.

Unlike most CD's I have read about, I have no interest whatsoever in wearing women's panties or lingerie. Nor do I have much use for women's clothing, other than as a costume that I have used for female impersonation. When I was "in character" as Maggie, I imagined myself to be a real woman and was engulfed by feminine feelings. This total immersion in the character actually changed my facial expression and behavior, which is what made the character so convincing. Although I was fascinated by the experience while I was doing it, and even now I like to remember it, I am not certain whether I will ever need to repeat the experience.

So right now I often think about Maggie and look at her pictures. I even have a picture of her on my desk at my office. People at the Cross Dressers Discussion Forum called me recklessly insane when they heard this, but she is so convincing that no one has recognized that it is me. (I purposely showed it to a cleaning woman, who guessed that it was my wife.)

When I first experimented with female impersonation, I had no idea how convincing I could be. I had no idea that Maggie would be so passable, and that she would take on a life of her own. On the one hand, I feel privileged in that she is such a realistic, nice-looking woman. I hate to let her go to waste. On the other hand, it would have been easier if she were not so convincing. I would have given up the experiment and moved on.

Hi Maggie.

First let me welcome you here.

You have brought up an interesting point, I have just recently realized that when I see a cross-dresser who has done a good job of making themselves look pretty, that there is more to it than just impersonating a woman. There is a facial expression that completes the picture, (that I identify with) which women do not (and can not) display. In fact in my opinion they are more beautiful, than a woman.
I get some of the same feelings from viewing those CD-ers who do a good job of it, as I do from wearing the clothes myself.

It has more to do with the CD-er making themselves look pretty than impersonating a women i.e.. Breasts are OK but I don't prefer to see the hips padded. And I definitely do not find men attractive. I will need to process this some more as your post has helped me to become aware of this.

I have this comment for those who Flamed you on the CDDF. Some Folks are unable to realize that we were not put on this earth to live as others would dictate. And it amazes me how cross-dressers who are forced to live against the dictates of society would not be the first to understand this.

Respectfully.
Darlene.

Hi Maggie,

I believe you are special, unique and a nice person too. I also think, based on what I know, you are a CD in a fashion that isn't the most traveled path, but when CD'ing happens later in life it manifests differently. So I don't want to use the word "typical" because no one is typical. I would say you are a traditional CD'r if you did start dressing later in life.

I don't get the picture of yourself on your desk thing? I don't keep a picture of myself on my desk en drabbe, only my wife. Is there another motivation that I'm missing? I'm a bit slow so take it easy with me.

Maggie, you are very open in your writing and humbly say, "I'm not sure" which is super cool. Then there are times when it sounds like you're saying we're different than you. When I read things that say you're different, I feel as if I'm being pushed away. Thankfully because you are humble and open I remove the being pushed away feeling. You're not sure, if you're a CD'r yet and that's what you said at the very beginning. Goodness knows I have no idea. I wish you the best with whatever you discover yourself to be. Just keep us updated!!!

About that panties and lingerie. I never liked wearing panties either. Lingerie was something I wore but saw someone else wearing it. The someone I thought I wanted a woman to be or me to be. In fact it was just raging young hormones. I wore panties though because my wife who suggested it, purchased some and asked me to put them on. I was completely freaked out by them. Then I tried them and they felt comfortable THEN I noticed how well they went with the outfits.

Since I can't tell if I'm stopping and starting because I want to or not, I feel I fit in the category of Crossdresser. Otherwise this is just something I do. It's not a big deal and I had no fascination for the clothing. Only because this is rare in society, is me dressing up differently a big deal anway.

Beauty