Hello from Rebecca
Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:17 am
I wanted to pop in and say Hi to all of you. My name is Rebecca. I'm 37, divorced twice, and in a long-term relationship that is unfortunately extremely on the rocks (not due to my crossdressing). I have four children, two my own, and two my SO's (although I completely think of them as my own.) All of them are late teens or beyond.
My story is so much like all of yours. I've been struggling with my crossdressing urges and feminity my entire life - however, I have managed to stay in denial almost the entire time, to the point that I have trouble remembering quite a bit of my childhood. I think maybe that's the worst part. If I could do it all over again.... Anyway, something tripped in my brain recently, and I find overwhelmed by the over 30 years of hiding, and unable to do so any longer. My SO 'knows' about my crossdressing, but we haven't had "the talk", so she is totally in denial and has no clue how deep it runs in me. She just thinks I like to paint my toenails (well, she knows more than that, but like I said - Denial.)
I've been lurking on this site and another, trying to get some answers, trying to feel less like a freak, trying to understand and gain some control (yeah, right) - and just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to all of you wonderful girls and SOs for how supportive you are to each other. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it was to take the step from lurking to participating, but I think I'm finally at the point that I need some interaction with people who understand you and care about you.
I don't know what my future holds, and to be honest, that scares me to death. I've always been one to grab my life by the hair and drag it where I want it to go, working through some pretty difficult times. I guess this is just the next test for me. Unfortunately, by its nature alone, I'm not sure that I have the tiger firmly enough by the tail. I guess I'll just hold on tight and see where I'm dragged. Hopefully, I'll stay on my feet and keep my dignity.
Look for me on the forums, girls!
My story is so much like all of yours. I've been struggling with my crossdressing urges and feminity my entire life - however, I have managed to stay in denial almost the entire time, to the point that I have trouble remembering quite a bit of my childhood. I think maybe that's the worst part. If I could do it all over again.... Anyway, something tripped in my brain recently, and I find overwhelmed by the over 30 years of hiding, and unable to do so any longer. My SO 'knows' about my crossdressing, but we haven't had "the talk", so she is totally in denial and has no clue how deep it runs in me. She just thinks I like to paint my toenails (well, she knows more than that, but like I said - Denial.)
I've been lurking on this site and another, trying to get some answers, trying to feel less like a freak, trying to understand and gain some control (yeah, right) - and just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to all of you wonderful girls and SOs for how supportive you are to each other. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it was to take the step from lurking to participating, but I think I'm finally at the point that I need some interaction with people who understand you and care about you.
I don't know what my future holds, and to be honest, that scares me to death. I've always been one to grab my life by the hair and drag it where I want it to go, working through some pretty difficult times. I guess this is just the next test for me. Unfortunately, by its nature alone, I'm not sure that I have the tiger firmly enough by the tail. I guess I'll just hold on tight and see where I'm dragged. Hopefully, I'll stay on my feet and keep my dignity.
Look for me on the forums, girls!
to the forum.
My only regret is having repressed this for so long - if I could do it all again, my journey would be completely different. But I guess I wouldn't have my beautiful children then, would I? I would never give them up.