For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's just not worth buying an entire beast carcass just to get a little sausage.
1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .....Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken.
some more women V men jokey stuff
Moderator: KimberlyS
-
Sally
- We Will Never Forget You - Rest in Peace
- Posts: 630
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:33 am
- Location: N.S.W. Australia
some more women V men jokey stuff
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
-
CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Those were great, Sally.
("...just to get a little sausage." ) Can I add to this thread? (My colleague, Patricia, e-mailed these to me.)
----------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you."
----------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that, because they'd been so good to each other, each one of them could be granted one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately, she held airline and cruise tickets for the two of them in her hands. The man wished for a female companion thirty years younger. Whoosh! Immediately, he turned 90.
----------
A Prayer
Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man;
For love to forgive him;
And for patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll beat him to death.
----------
Question and Answer Period
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They're practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Q: What's the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Love,
CJ
Those were great, Sally.
("...just to get a little sausage." ) Can I add to this thread? (My colleague, Patricia, e-mailed these to me.)----------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you."
----------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that, because they'd been so good to each other, each one of them could be granted one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately, she held airline and cruise tickets for the two of them in her hands. The man wished for a female companion thirty years younger. Whoosh! Immediately, he turned 90.
----------
A Prayer
Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man;
For love to forgive him;
And for patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll beat him to death.
----------
Question and Answer Period
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They're practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Q: What's the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Love,
CJ
-
SilverLady(SO)
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 5419
- Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: Strange Magic Hill (Virginia)
Those are all good ones, my friends!! And here I always thought that it was the GG's who were supposed to be man-bashing, but I did love reading all of them - and many of them do apply to the dh (but not my CD-SO)!!
- SL
SilverLady(SO)
- Native Motor City and Wolverine gal . . . GO BLUE!!
- Molon Labe - Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
-
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard
- Native Motor City and Wolverine gal . . . GO BLUE!!
- Molon Labe - Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
-
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard