THE OFFICIAL: Bad Jokes Thread #2

[Marda]

Old Laugh, never Tired, Maybe even here before???

How To tell the Difference Between A Hoover And A Harley ???

The Location Of The DirtBag

Love,
Marda

[Kyra]

Try going Bag-less!

[Marda]

OK,Mine divorced me 30 yrs ago, happily CDing, now, once seriously pissed off bagless vacuum clnr salescritter by not buying his rot. the machine was great, but he didn't know how to "listen" major salescritter error #1.

Love,
Marda



*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Wendae]

Why don't femme lesbians go on dates?
Because it is hard to eat Jenny Craig when you've got Mary Kay on your face.!

[Martina Hall]

Two little boys were in the pediatrician's waiting room. One asked the other what he was there for.
"Doctor wants to look at my tonsils. And you?"
"Well dad says I need to be circumcised. What's that?"

" I'm not sure, but they did that to me the day I was born, and I couldn't walk for a year!"

[CharLee]

The other night when my wife came home from a hard days work I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She came into the kitchen with a strange look upon her face and said to me, " Come with me into the bed room". We went into the bedroom and she said " take off my blouse", I took her blouse off. She then asked me to remove her skirt, I removed her skirt. Then I was asked to remove her slip, which I did. Then asked to take off her bra and panties and I did so. Then she said to me, " If you ever wear my clothes again I'll break your neck.

[Joan]

This year I will buy my wife a new bag & belt for Christmas.

It should keep the vacuum cleaner working for another year.

[DonnaT]

[Carol Elizabeth]

Well!

I told my wife that I was going to buy her a new washer and dryer for Christmas!

She asked, "Honey, can we afford them?"

I told her it doesn't cost that much for a dishpan and towel!
.
.
.
.
And then the fight began!

[Babbs]

Did you hear about the blind guy who walks into a bar.....then a chair and then a table...

[Ginny Jones]

There are three kinda people in this world!
Those that can count and those that can't!



Sorry about that - I don't know what came over me

[OliviaM]

Guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, if I show you something cool will you give free drinks? Bartender says, ok. The guy puts a little piano on the bar then takes a 12 inch man sits him at the piano and the little man plays a Beethoven symphony. The bartender says that sure gets a few drinks. The guy says If I have something better drinks for the night? The bartender agrees. The guys reaches in his bag and gives the bartender a lamp and says go ahead rub it. The bartender does and an old bent over genie appears and says in a weak voice, I'll give you one wish. The bartender says, wow I want a million bucks. They wait a few minutes and ducks begin walking in the door. In about an hour there are a million ducks in the bar. The bartender says, I think your genie is deaf, I asked for a million bucks not ducks. The guy looks at the bartender and says, you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist.

[Wendae]

Two Russians were visiting in New York City and had worked up an appetite, seeing a Hot Dog stand they decided to have lunch there. Upon ordering and paying for their dogs Boris says,"So Ivan what part of the dog did you get?"

[Robyn]

A transvestite is someone who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.

[Sarah Beth]

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
The bartender asks if there is something he can do to help.
The duck says yep can you get this guy off my backside.