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Not All Officers Are Brilliant

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:34 am
by Carol Elizabeth
A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”

A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.

An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge of making the coffee and asked what his opinion was.

Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked, "Why?"

“Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

The room fell silent.

God Bless the Navy sailor.

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:47 pm
by Virginia
True Story!

Since I was an Officer and a Gentlemen (and a Naval Aviator) the above reminded me of my initial class at Pensacola. We had just returned from "supper" and as could be expected the Marine Drill Instructors were all over us. We had three minutes to get into the barracks and up to the second story class room. One of our brood did not make it and was still in his room. One of the drill instructors caught a glimpse of him slipping into his room so as was their lot the drill instructor walked into his room which was shared with three other (our first week in "Indoc. battalion we were referred to as "poopies.") He tore the room up turning over the beds, tossing things around walked over to the first closet, jerked the door open --- nothing! So he threw everything in the closet out on the floor. The only remaining place that the future naval aviator could be was the other closet. He strode over (now he told us this story later, at our gradutation and commissioning) He took a deep breathe, jerked the door open -- the kid in the closet snapped to a rigid attention, saluted and said very firmly, " Going up, Sir?" The drill instructor told us he tried not to act shocked and that he thinks he got a hernia from trying so hard not to burst out laughing, all he could say was, "get your a** topside!" He said it was the best response he had every gotten in his entire career in the Marines! He said he still laughs everytime he thinks about it!

Guess some of us are just quicker than others!

Virginia

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:24 pm
by DonnaT
My radio team was at a remote site, and pretty much on our own most of the time.

One night a major from battalion came snooping around, trying to catch whoever was in the radio van asleep. Happened to be me, and I smelled his cigar smoke at the door vent, so was ready for him to jerk the door open.

Pissed he didn't catch me sleeping he decided my antenna was at the wrong orientation. Never mind that I had been on air all day.

To prove it, he walked over beside the antenna, took out his compass and asked what azimuth I was supposed to be at. I told him and he asked me over to look at his compass, which indicated the antenna was in the wrong orientation.

A walked him away from the metal pole of the antenna and the compass rotated to show I was right.

He walked away without another word.