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An older gentleman, wearing a suit and tie, carrying a leather briefcase approaches the court house security officer. The officer asks, "Are you a lawyer, sir? The old man says, "Hell no! My parents were married when I was born!"

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As the lawyer slowly came out of the anaesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

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How was copper wire invented? Well, two lawyers found a penny and........

Three surgeons were sitting at lunch discussing their more complicated surgeries recently.

First surgeon, " I just did an accountant! Amazing, and easy? All the parts were numbered!"

Second surgeon, " That's nothing, I just did an engineer and not only were the parts numbered, but they were color-coded!"

They turned there attention to the third surgeon who sat by passively. WELL!?" they both demanded.

"Well," he hesitated, then sighed, "Well, I just did a lawyer. There are only two parts, --------------- mouth and rectum! ---------- They're interchangeable!"