Re-mote control
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 1:34 pm
After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
...
Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
To which he responded: 'I found the remote".
Two guy friends are having lunch one day, and the one guy says "Man, I had the worse Freudian slip the other day!"
The other guy asks, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?"
The guy explains, "It's when you go to say something and you accidentally say the thing you're really thinking about instead! For example, the other day I was at the airport getting a ticket and there was this gorgeous woman at the counter. I was focusing so much on her body that instead of asking for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I accidentally asked for 'two pickets to Titsburgh!"
The other guy nods and says, "Ohh, I understand now! That's like the other day when my wife and I were having breakfast and instead of saying 'please pass the orange juice' I accidentally said 'YOU RUINED MY LIFE B--CH!!"
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
...
Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
To which he responded: 'I found the remote".
Two guy friends are having lunch one day, and the one guy says "Man, I had the worse Freudian slip the other day!"
The other guy asks, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?"
The guy explains, "It's when you go to say something and you accidentally say the thing you're really thinking about instead! For example, the other day I was at the airport getting a ticket and there was this gorgeous woman at the counter. I was focusing so much on her body that instead of asking for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I accidentally asked for 'two pickets to Titsburgh!"
The other guy nods and says, "Ohh, I understand now! That's like the other day when my wife and I were having breakfast and instead of saying 'please pass the orange juice' I accidentally said 'YOU RUINED MY LIFE B--CH!!"