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Elephant Gun

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 11:35 am
by Debbie Jean
An Iowa family was driving through Western Nebraska on their way to their Colorado vacation. They became hungry, so they stopped at a small “Mom & Pop” type restaurant, and ordered some lunch.

While they were waiting for their food to come, the husband spotted an unusual looking gun hanging on the wall behind the cash register, so he went over there for a closer look.

The conversation went something like this:

Proprietor: “Something I can help you with?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s an unusual looking gun you have there. What do you use it for?”
Proprietor: “That’s an elephant gun, my friend. Mighty good one too, I might add.”
Customer: “Elephant gun? Don’t be silly, there’s no elephants in Nebraska!”
Proprietor: “I told you it was a good gun, didn’t I?”

Re: Elephant Gun

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 12:13 pm
by Carol Elizabeth
And how does one kill a purple elephant?

You shoot him with a purple elephant gun - of course!

But, how does one kill a pink elephant?

Well, you need to squeeze his testicles till he turns purple
and then you shoot with a purple elephant gun.

Of course - if it is female pink elephant - you are just out of luck!

Re: Elephant Gun

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 4:08 pm
by Debbie Jean
Carol Elizabeth, was that last elephant joke you told a trunk-ated version?

just wondering,
Deb


p.s.
Along those same lines, when she was a little girl, my daughter was starting to learn how to tell time. She would stare at clocks around the house to check herself on this. One time when my wife and I took her to the circus, I noticed her staring at my wrist watch. I didn't say anything. Finally, just as the elephants were coming out of the chute, she asked me what time it was. I replied: "Honey, it's elephant time". With eyes as big as saucers, she gazed up at me and said: "Daddy, I don't see any elephants coming out of your watch". Out of the mouths of babes!

Re: Elephant Gun

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 12:18 am
by Eileen (SO)
You kill pink elephants with aspirin till the hangover subsides.

Eileen

Re: Elephant Gun

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 9:11 am
by Carol Elizabeth
And while we are on the subject,

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in a cherry tree.

Now I realize that most of you have not seen an elephant in a cherry tree -
so it proves what good camouflage it really is.

Re: Elephant Gun

Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 7:58 pm
by Eileen (SO)
"I once shot an elephant while in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."

Capt. Spaulding (Groucho Marx)

Carol Elizabeth wrote:Now I realize that most of you have not seen an elephant in a cherry tree -
so it proves what good camouflage it really is.
And here I thought we're going to have a bumper crop of cherries!



Eileen