FELINE PHYSICS LAWS
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:21 pm
FELINE PHYSICS LAWS - Anonymous from Pets911.com
. Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
. Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
. Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
. First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
. Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
. Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
. Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
. Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
. Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
. Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
. Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
. Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
. Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
. Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
. First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
. Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
. Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
. Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
. Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
. Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
. Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
. Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.