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Backseat Cooking?

Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 2:29 pm
by Lorna
One morning a wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my G~D! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my G~D! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:09 pm
by Lorna
Has American society become so uptight & humorless - that it has even trickled into our safe, happy & harmless little forum ?? :(

I don't want to believe that. But this folder has been completely devoid of traffic for far too long. So many cute jokes from so many of the gals here, yet there is little if any response. :?

Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:22 pm
by Jeannie
Hey Lorna. What's the differance between humor and odor? I'll give you a hint. Humor is a shift of wit. Think about Hun. I love to laugh.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?... Give her a shovel!


What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? Hint. The woman in church has hope in her soul.


What were Davey Crocketts last words at the Alamo? "Where did all these freakin landscapers come from!"


Did you hear that Michael Jackson was in the hospital for food poisoning? Yeah. He ate a 12 year old weiner.

Love
Jeannie

PS Don't get me started Lorna. I have a million of them and most are not PC. I'm an equal oppourtunity offender! :lol:

One more Lorna.

Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:38 pm
by Jeannie
I'm Italian so I can tell this one ladies.
Rocco and Tony are out hunting in a field. Rocco says"I have to take a dump" "just go in the woods" says Tony. A few minutes later Rocco yells"Hey Tony. There's no leaves or nothing to wipe with!" Tony says"Use a dollar" Rocco comes out from the woods and his hands are all brown and disgusting. Tony says" What happened to you!" Rocco replied" That's not the half of it Tony. I had to throw out the two quarters and five dimes!"

Love
Jeannie

Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:57 pm
by Lorna
Oh Jeannie... rotf rotf rotf

Don't complain lorna!

Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 11:35 pm
by Jeannie
You're as sick as me! :lol: Hugs


Love
Jeannie

PS It's a joke not a documentary! :lol:

The last time I was with my wife and we were being romantic I said"Honey. I hate to admit this but after all these years I never can tell when you have the big O" She replied"That's because you're never there!"