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An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese are hired at a Sydney construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling."
To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta da broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no canna finda him."

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Oi that ye did, but I couldn't get meself a shovel y’see. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't foind him anywhere."

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy.
He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute.



Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and shouts... "SUPPLIES!"

Wait a minute, now. I know there's a bad jokes thread around here somewhere.

Funny though

But you just have to laugh!!!



- SL

Unfortunately, the chinese guy used a stereotypically japanese pronounciation!!! I did stereotypical, did I not?

Love, Carolynn

I rove it!

Pat leaves the pub after a session and wanders into the pizza shop down the street and orders a pizza.

The shop keeper brings Pat’s pizza and says,” Do you want me to cut it into 6 pieces or 8.

Pat replies,” Nah, only cut it into 6, there’s no way I could eat 8 pieces.

That's just like someone going into McDonald's or another fastfood place, and ordering a diet soft drink with their high-cholesterol food!!



- SL

SL, I drink diet Dr.Pepper and eat chocolate bars all the time! I figure the lack of sugar in the drink makes up for the sugar in the chocolate. That way it evens out!

Did some one say chocolate???? Ah comfort food!!!! ain't it great!!??
Virginia

Kyra wrote: I figure the lack of sugar in the drink makes up for the sugar in the chocolate. That way it evens out!

Kyra, don't you know? Drinking a diet soda actually cancels out all other calories!


Connie

If it makes anyone feel better, we went to Buca di Beppo tonight, and I had unsweetened tea with my spaghetti and meatballs....

Hi Sally
After that joke your house is probably surrounded by the PC Police! I feel for you Hon. It happens.I have a Saint Patricks Day joke that would would get me tossed of the forum. I'll put it on MY Space. Hugs

Love
Jeannie

PS. You're a jokemeister Hon. If you ever want to hear the most offensive jokes ever just pick up any comedy CD by Jackie the Jokeman Martling. He was Howard Stern's sidekick years ago. It's one rapid fire joke after another and he offends everyone on the planet. Nothing, and I mean nothing is off limits. They are from live performances at small clubs and when he tells a joke the audience will just moan.
Another great one is Denis Leary's"No cure for cancer" CD and the opening song he sings is hilarious. Also anything by Dane Cook or the late great Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks was a favorite comedian of both Jay Leno and David Letterman and most never heard of him. His comedy CD "Philosophy" is a killer. Denis Leary ripped off a lot of his routines. There's only one thing more fun than laughing but I forgot.

Hi Jeannie,

I'm no prude but I'm really not into really offensive jokes (maybe it's because I've been the butt of so many over the years LOL ).

So, here's a bad joke for you. LOL....

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while they're both getting hot and tired and the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick a bit more often, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

Sally, honey, no matter how many times I hear that joke, I still burst out laughing!!



- SL

As JoAnn Worley (Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in - uuh, long before most of youse was born! )
Was that a stick joke or a sick joke!?
Virginia