Rich Little - author!

[Virginia]

Three novice hunters are out hunting for the first time and they come across some tracks.
"We got deer tracks here! Must be lots of deer around here!"
Second hunter, "Deer??? no way, I know deer tracks, those are too small, must be elk, yeah, elk tracks!"
Third hunter, "You are both uneducated in this! Those are moose tracks, I know moose tracks and those are definitely, moose tracks!
As they are standing there studying the tracks ...............................
along comes a train and runs over them!

Think about it! It will come to you!
Actually I never got it ------but I have an excuse! Blond you know!
Virginia

[Virginia]

Uh, train tracks!!!???
Sorry 'bout that!
Virginia

[Sally]

Well now Virginia, speaking of blondes, or maybe that should be blonds in this case, but once there was these two blond hunters who were dragging this big dead deer back to their truck. Another hunter approached pulling his dead deer along too, and he said to them. "Hey guys, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

Being male and a bit stubborn they continued dragging their deer the way they were until the third guy had dragged his deer out of sight, then they decided to try what he said.

A little while later one blond hunter said to the other, "You know, that other guy was right. This is a heck of a lot easier!"
"Yeah, it sure is" the other added, "but s..t, we're getting further away from the truck all the time........."

[KathyB]

[Virginia]

Now that sounds like something I would do!

True story! Husband and wife out hunting, wife's first time out. Husband puts her in a tree stand with explicit orders to "stay there!" He moves off to another stand! A shot is heard, the deer drops in his tracks, she climbs down out of the tree walks over to the deer and remembering the cardinal rule of hunting, takes out her deer tag and ties it to the huge antler. At that point the deer, only dazed, leaps to his feet and takes off! He gets about 50 yards and BANG! another hunter shoots him and drops him, this time for good. As he is walking up to the huge beast, this panicky, panting woman comes running through the woods and up to him yelling "That's my deer, that's my deer!! See the tag on his antler, that's my deer!" The hunter looks at the tag, turns to the panting woman and says, "Hell, lady if you can run that fast!!! You can have the damn deer!"

Virginia

- and no it was not me, not even in a mini skirt!