Cat-a-trosphic
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:31 pm
CAT JOKES
>
> Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
> She had mittens.
>
> What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
> One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause
> before the pause.
>
> What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
> A peeping tom.
>
> Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
> Too many cheetahs.
>
> What is a cat's favorite song?
> Three Blind Mice.
>
> What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
> Claw Enforcement.
>
> Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
> For kitty littering.
>
> Why are cats better than babies?
> Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
>
> What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
> Hiss and Tell.
>
> What does a cat do when it gets mad?
> It has a hissy fit.
>
> What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
> The purrpatrator.
>
> What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
> He stole the whole show!
>
> What is a cat's favorite colour?
> Purrrrrrrple!
>
> Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
> The retail store.
>
> What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
> A mice cream cone.
>
> What do cats use to make coffee?
> A purrcolator.
>
> What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
> A duck filled fatty puss.
>
> Why is the cat so grouchy?
> Because he's in a bad mewd.
>
> How does the cat get its own way?
> With friendly purrsuasion.
>
> What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
> An eskimew.
>
> What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
> Mice Krispies.
>
> How do cats end a fight?
> They hiss and make up.
>
> What is the cat's favorite magazine?
> Good Mousekeeping.
>
> What is a cat's favorite car?
> The Catillac.
>
> What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
> A Lawn Meower.
>
> Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
> Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
>
> What do you use to comb a cat?
> A catacomb.
>
> Why did the cat run from the tree?
> Because it was afraid of the bark!
>
> Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
> She had mittens.
>
> What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
> One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause
> before the pause.
>
> What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
> A peeping tom.
>
> Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
> Too many cheetahs.
>
> What is a cat's favorite song?
> Three Blind Mice.
>
> What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
> Claw Enforcement.
>
> Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
> For kitty littering.
>
> Why are cats better than babies?
> Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
>
> What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
> Hiss and Tell.
>
> What does a cat do when it gets mad?
> It has a hissy fit.
>
> What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
> The purrpatrator.
>
> What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
> He stole the whole show!
>
> What is a cat's favorite colour?
> Purrrrrrrple!
>
> Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
> The retail store.
>
> What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
> A mice cream cone.
>
> What do cats use to make coffee?
> A purrcolator.
>
> What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
> A duck filled fatty puss.
>
> Why is the cat so grouchy?
> Because he's in a bad mewd.
>
> How does the cat get its own way?
> With friendly purrsuasion.
>
> What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
> An eskimew.
>
> What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
> Mice Krispies.
>
> How do cats end a fight?
> They hiss and make up.
>
> What is the cat's favorite magazine?
> Good Mousekeeping.
>
> What is a cat's favorite car?
> The Catillac.
>
> What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
> A Lawn Meower.
>
> Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
> Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
>
> What do you use to comb a cat?
> A catacomb.
>
> Why did the cat run from the tree?
> Because it was afraid of the bark!
