sucker

[Ralitsa]

this is another of my periodic rants, so you can find whatever amusement there is to be had from it.

I am the biggest sucker in the world and everyone knows it. Maybe I'm just dumb, although easily manipulated is probably a better explanation. This is particularly true where women are concerned. Apparently I'm desperate for attention or something. I've wondered for a long time whether my desire to crossdress was related to my complete failure to have a meaningful relationship. I think it may be a component but not the whole explanation.
I need to attend some sort of anti-sucker training. The problem is that I know I'm doing it and then still do it anyway. The instant any woman pays me the slightest attention I go ahead and make an idiot of myself, usually spending large sums of money in the process. Even my niece laughs at me and tells me they are just using me.
So this rant is precipitated by another painful exchange with my friend. It should be pointed out that some 20 years ago we were involved and I've never quite got over that. She insists that we are just friends, and is in fact involved with someone else, but then makes demands of me that are way beyond the level of that. Normally I go along with this, because I am a sucker after all. But occasionally things accumulate until I say or do something to set her off. Now it seems like I've been using her, although what I've gotten from it except a lot of grief and trouble I don't know.
If I had any balls I would maybe do something courageous like run and hide, but instead I stand here like a fool and live with it. So that's why I think I'll get mine chopped off, I don't do anything with them anyway.

[Anthony Simon]

So this rant is precipitated by another painful exchange with my friend. It should be pointed out that some 20 years ago we were involved and I've never quite got over that. She insists that we are just friends, and is in fact involved with someone else, but then makes demands of me that are way beyond the level of that. Normally I go along with this, because I am a sucker after all. But occasionally things accumulate until I say or do something to set her off. Now it seems like I've been using her, although what I've gotten from it except a lot of grief and trouble I don't know.

Well, she's pressing your buttons, I think. From what little I know of women, that's a power-game that appeals particularly to the female intellect when times are bad. Like women know an awful lot more about emotions than men - and sometimes they put that to good use and sometimes to bad.

My supposition is she's not got anything better to do with her abilities - like, implicitly, whatever relationship she was/is in isn't going terribly well - and is kind of distracting herself from that by winding you up.

[DonnaT]

Door mats don't have legs! You do!
Walk away.

[Davita]

Ralitsa,

I dunno about being dumb, but I'm hearing a real lack of self worth. I'm also hearing that your pursuit of worth is only finding more negativity.

How about instead of looking for people who want something of you or who, as it sounds to me, are not boosting your worth, you stay away from them. You are already proving to be better than those people and so you need to find people who deserve your attention and who add to your life instead of detract.

I know you're thinking it's impossible, but it's simply not. Find new places to go, new things to do; make some changes and enjoy the adventures. Even if you go alone, it has to be better than being treated so negatively. As you start to enjoy what you're doing, you show it. Good people are attracted to positive attitudes.

[Sandy K.]

I have agree that you are being used and you know it .Time to cut the cord and move on.