A rant: Men can't read!

[CJ]

Hi all,

I've had a Yahoo profile set up for a while, now. Like many of us here, I'm open to meeting new and interesting people. However, I want to correspond or chat with other T-girls or with GGs, not with hairy so-called "admirers." This is clearly, explicitely stated in my profile, yet it seems I only get invitations to chat from these testosterone-drunk gorillas. What gives? Can't men read?

Any of you gals here have to go through the same thing?

Love,
CJ

[Jassmine(SO)]

Hi CJ,

Yep, I know exactly what you are talking about. Alas, I think women do it to themselves. I mean, all those women who pose for girlie magazines, work the strip clubs, and just generally behave like they are nothing but sex objects. Men seem to get the impression that we are all that way Then women complain about being treated as such, but most do nothing to try and do away with this myth. I am a whole person and I want to be seen and treated as one. But as long as there are women who are willing to be seen as sex objects, I will be fighting an uphill battle. Sigh......

*Hugs & Love*

[Ahzz]

I think that it is because some men still have the old attitude of "women are submissive, so even if htey say "not interested" keep pushing". 8-P

Idjits.

And people wonder why I get along with women better than men.

[Kersten Lee]

Hi CJ,
This is another example of men having that man filter, seeing and hearing selectively. Everyone remember I am very conscience of stereotyping as wrong. Please read and interpret in that light. Women may have a woman filter, also.

I haven't had any experience in that area but it seems very consistent in my interaction with many men. Girls generally have been taught in our society to snare men, jobs and position, by their feminine power over men. I think the women's movement, since voting rights, has moved women more toward the center of a genderless society. Men are powerful sowing oats in formative years. The womaen that do with these men are sluts. Why? This has been changing.

The result has been more out of wedlock babies and the attendent finger pointing and shunning of these women and girls. It is alive and well in my community. Some churches still prohibit birth control. People at work whine about our state going after their boys for child support. Those fathers with the girls on the receiving end, are silent. I never hear mentioned from them that the state should go for child support from the boys. Girls are taught to say no. Boys are free to try and occasionally rape because girls say no. In my home I was taught girls say no but really mean yes. I was too sensitive to girls to force myself. My old man looked down on me.

Again these are all stereotypes and not true country wide, we are all individuals. These to me are the general truth though. Until men are free to move to the center and accept feminine ideals, it is going to be generally applauded that men are on earth to dominate women. This is also perpetrated by the majority of religions that women were made by God to serve men.

I look towards the day when Half the legislatures, mayors, ceo's, plant managers are women and equally represented in this society. It would be so good to have a woman president with a male vice.

Women, us, racial minorities and gays in general are second class citizens still. Talk is great and things are better from the fifties and sixties, but we are still second class citizens.

After all this white noise, I think these men don't understand or respect your right to be CJ. I truly feel, without any proof, that being genetic male doesn't condemn us or these men to vulgorisms. I believe nurture and culture use our natural born traits as a fame work to install piggyback these belief systems.

All is not gloom. I do know a family that is raising their two boys and a girl to be the best they can be. The husband and wife love each other freely. They both have successful careers. They are confident in who they are and don't require their children to be cooky cutters of themselves. These children are free to explore who they are now, not at all like me doing this exploration at 51. They set limits to stop bad behavior that is anti social. These children have vastly different temperments but seem quite happy with with themselves. I wish I could have been one of them.
It seems impossible to me that one of these boys in the future would ignore a request that only asks for a curtesy such as yours, CJ. The girl is so confident in her being also, I can't see her discounting herself to be accepted by a man. Her relationships now, with her school friends, require a two way street. They are healthy give and take, not one way streets of dominance or submission.

Rightness with ourselves, those around us and spiritual things, need to be grown and nutured in our own beings. The future is always in the hands of our children.

I know again this response is way too much. Sorry for that, but I trust you as my friends won't condemn me for my self-indulgence.

Humbly,
Kersten

[SophieLawson]

Ahh come on now CJ, you like the attention really Joking lol

I've had a few Genuine Girls and a few T-Girls email me, everyone seems really nice I've not had any crazy people yet

Sophie xx

[Celia]

So Chauncey Gardiner won't take no for an answer, eh, CJ?

-Celia

[Virginia]

CJ, You should allow my sis Darlene to tackle some of these idiots! She seems to really enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I can not help as I have never put out my "resume." Anyway, you girls here keep my brain in such a state of flux that it is all I can do to even try and make intelligent responses to some of the posts. Not to name names but some of you are soooo far over my head, I just am in awe of the thought process that some of you have - I love it as I am constantly learning from all of you.
Love,
Deborah

[Loretta Ann]

Hi all,

Do I enjoy the hunt? never thought of it that way before, although at times I have to admit, the fishing has been good. I do however enjoy coming at them in a way that they were not prepared for, and as a result are unable to deal with it.

I have had one bad experience and it took one E-mail to get rid of him. I do have two good on line CD friends, and one good on line GG friend. in the year that I have been on the net.

For me I guess it comes from not expecting every one to be nice, or the way I would like them to be. And I usually find out very quickly where a person is at, usually through ways that seem offensive to some.

And that in it's self serves to keep those who I don't want around at a comfortable distance.

[Lorna]

Oh boy CJ, do I ever!!

I tire of those horny perverts on Yahoo who constantly IM me to death with their filthy innuendos and rude behavior. Is it any wonder I always wind up having to get nasty with them?

Then they have the nerve to give you attitude when you tell them to eff off. But the only reason I stay on Yahoo IM is because that's how I communicate with my friends. As for the so-called "admirers" on Yahoo, they are ALL a bunch of PIGS.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies!

So, the answer seems to be... what? Yes? I'm the only one having trouble with these pesky illiterates? Dang. This is where I truly wish I had a talent for snappy comebacks when I'm on the net, live. As it is, I just click on the "Ignore" button, so as never to hear from them again. My "Ignore List" is now getting to be as long as my arm.

Well, I don't often go looking for strangers myself (this place keeps me busy enough as it is--and that's good, by the way!), but it seems to me there are a few common sense etiquette concerns to keep in mind if you're going to invite yourself in a stranger's virtual living-room. These are the ones I can think of:

-- Take the time to read and understand the person's profile (don't just look at the pretty pictures)
-- Be polite when initiating contact; state who you are; say why you're interested in contact
-- Always ask if your getting in touch is an imposition, a bother
-- Leave the invitations to view web cams for later
-- Be prepared to take "No" for an answer
-- Be prepared to be ignored, too

Anyway, all these orangoutangs knocking at my door are making me want to put up a pic of Granny, from the Beverly Hillbillies, as my profile photo! Or maybe put that "half-and-half" shot I have up on the gallery!

Anyway, thanks all for letting me vent, here. It's not that I'm really angry; I'm just a little peeved, I guess. Hey! The world goes on, right?

Love,
CJ

P.S.
Celia: No, he wouldn't... but, I have to tell ya... Forrest Gump turned right around and fled when I showed him the door!

[CJ]

Oh, Lorna, you posted while my back was turned!

So you have trouble, too, then. Good! Well, er, no, I don't mean "good, that you're having trouble," no. I mean, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one. I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong or inappropriate about my profile. But I guess not. Part of me wants to let it slide and say, "boys will be boys," but these bozos aren't boys, oh no! Jassmine, Kirsten, and others have too many good points about the attitude of a lot of men for me to let this slide. I figure that, by clicking on "Ignore," they'll get the point.

Then again, maybe not.

Love,
CJ

[Beauty]

Hi CJ,

I get those too.

I've really never classified them before, but you have the gentleman like admirer, the horny admirer, the over obnoxious admirer, and the wolf in sheep's clothing admirer. There are more types I'm sure, but over the years they've usually fit into those groups.

For the most part my experiences have been positive. I usually say thing like, "Hi", "Yes, I'm married", "Yes she knows", "No I don't sleep with men", "No I won't meet you", "No I don't help others get dressed", "Here's the name of a support group", "Yes, I'm sure I won't be meeting you.", "Yes I'm positive"

For the most part the men have been understanding. Most just want to comment on a photo or something. At first it was scary. There are a few who contact me one or twice every few months, but they are polite.

Beauty

[Lorna]

CJ and Beauty - those are good points to remember, gals!

Sadly, I do have to say that the majority of my experiences with admirers, whether online or face to face, have not been positive at all. They all come at me with the same old tired, graphic, suggestive innuendos and come-ons. They have no respect for women (CDs or GGs) and do NOT know how to treat a lady. Hence, it's a quick "eff you" and a click of the Ignore button. That's it. No questions asked.

If I didn't deal with so many jerks, then maybe I would be a little more friendly.

CJ, I used to wonder the same thing - is my profile pic sending the wrong message? Is it too slutty? When out in public, am I dressed too provocatively, forcing men to pigeonhole me into the category of "that kind of girl"?

I have seen a lot of raunchy profiles on Yahoo, and compared to the levels of sleaze that I have seen, I come across as a nun. Now I am not trying to sound smug or prudish by any means. If a person wants to put a more graphic picture on their Yahoo profile (CD or admirer) that's their business. But I will generally steer clear if interacting with those folks.

If I want a provocative encounter, I'll call my GG friend & she and I will take care of business in the flesh!! So to speak...