I think too much before I talk

[Daniel]

I was talking with someone in the chat room, and she got chafed waiting for my responses... and I'm a fast typist too! Problem was, I kept typing things out and then deleting them, thinking too much about what I was going to say. I'm sort of hesitant to spill all the beans at once about the exact nature of my crossdress sessions, and she didn't have the patience to pry everything out of me.

I can type 80 words per minute but when all is said and done, after deleting things over and over again it ends up being less than 10. Maybe that's why term papers are so hard for me... And at any rate it REALLY inhibits my ability to keep a chat room conversation moving at a decent rate.

[Laycee]

Except for the 80 wpm, I do the same thing. I type a response, read it and if I don't like what I've typed because it doesn't make sense to me for whatever reason, I feel there is no point in sending it. I have been accused of "lurking" in other chat environments because I had nothing to say on whatever was being discussed. I don't believe there is anything wrong with slow responses and I would hope most people don't.

This is also true for face to face conversations with me. Imagine being asked a question and waiting a few days for an answer!

My SO and I have discussed this issue with a therapist and his suggestion might could work in a chat environment as well.... A simple response of "Let me think on that."

p.s. - It took me 20 minutes to type this response.....

[Celia]

I was there last night, Daniel, and I'm not sure what this other person was complaining about - you were chatting up a storm. I think some people are just impatient.

It is different from posting in forum, of course. There you'll hit the Preview button multiple times before you click Submit (if you even dare). That's one place where I prefer chat over forums: it's understood that what you say is probably off the cuff; people don't cop this attitude that you're publishing - you're just talkin'.

-Celia

[LaurenD]

I'm such a slow typist that the world could be turning over before I'd get around to acknowledging the fact. That's why in chat rooms I rarely type full sentences.

Lauren

[Daniel]

Maybe that's the same with most other people. I've always found it natural to use proper English, and I guess I only do so even in the chat room because I can type fast!

[Gwen]

Don't feel like you're the only one that has some problems communicating your "Self". Lot's of times, I avoid conversations just for the problem of not being witty enough to keep up with (what appears to be) pro chatters. They're not btw.

One way to break the ice for yourself is to join chat rooms to talk about non personal information. Maybe someplace that offers a room/group that talks about your line of employment or hobbies. Some topic that you know a lot about and feel confident in sharing your opinions!!!

If, on the other hand, you haven't figured out where you fit in the world and just what your role is, give it some time. Stop, look, and listen for a while. There WILL be something here that will pique your interest. And, if you can't get the response right when you have found the right subject, write to yourself. Don't be overly critical of your personality. (Right, I should talk)!

I do know most of the people here are pretty genuine, accepting, and will try to help you with the more common areas about XDresssing or whatever your thing is. Note that I stress whatever "YOUR" thing is. The are no carbon copies out here and life does not provide an owners manual.

Go for it and be at peace with yourself.

Gwen


PS. This is MY first response to a post with my real feeling in it. See. It works!

[Lydia]

Chat room conversation is a strange beast. For example in a twosome:
A says topic 1
I answer, but by the time I finish, A has added a question
My answer refers to the first topic
A responds to my first answer
By that time I am responding to A's question

So the chat becomes out of phase, so to speak.

With a three-some, I find I am answering a point made at least two or three lines before -- a triple out of phase situation

Life becomes too complicated for me.

However, if you don't take it too seriously, it all works out.

And, Daniel, don't worry about typing accuracy or grammar - we all make miskates.

Lydia

[Jeannie]

Hi Lydia.
The chat is fun. It's demolition derby for people with ADD. It all makes perfect sense to me but then again I can understand what Ozzy Osbourne is saying!Hugs


Love
Jeannie

PS. I have to run. My kids and their friends just put new pictures up on their MY Space accounts. They set one up for sweet Jeannie!I'm going in for sneak attack and post some captions. I found a great time saver. I wrote up an apology form letter and just change the names! I'll probably be the first tranny to be banned from My Space. It's a hoot with 100 million morons! I'll never run out of material! Most there have the IQ of a hockey puck! They even made George W. Bush a charter member! It's hilarious!No Lie Lydia this was my last friend request just a few minutes ago. This is word for word or whatever!

Jeannie

u hav a hott litle body.U mak me horny. il b on msn mesenger tonight. im emilypassport. i want to met you.

What do think Lydia? Is it a keeper?LOL! The worst thing the PS was in German! With my luck it's a Nazi,bi sexual Dominatrix. I not falling for that a third time!.........OUCH!

[Jeannie]

When on a chat there is one rule you must always follow if you want to enjoy it. DON'T THINK! You'll be left in the dust! It works everytime for me! Hugs

Love
Jeannie

[Anita]

Hi Daniel--
Yeah, it's got to be pretty off-the-cuff writing, or it's no fun at all. I especially try to keep ahead of what Lydia was descrbing, the "out of phase" conversation. I can handle it better when it's three or more, because it's inevitable. But with just two, I'm firing out answers as quickly as I can.

The irony here is that my chat room problem was the reverse of yours--my typing speed had to go up several notches so I could get the punch lines nailed down. I'm not necessarily a witty speaker, but something about chat rooms brings out the jokester in me, and it works pretty well, as long as I can fire out those replies. I tend to want them to look good, hence no "U's, no "4ever", none of that.

AOL bumps me off the line all the time in the chat, and I gave up on it for now. It takes a long time to get back in there once I've been bumped.

[Jeannie]

HI Hon
You should go on My Space Anita. Post that killer Avatar in the can can oufit and sit back and laugh your butt off with the reponses! I have a GG friend Beverly who is on My Space. She is 47 and so sweet and lives in California. Some Moron hacked into her profile and posted some very unfunny things. Beverly is Jewish and the remarks were anti semitic and quite vile. I wanted to cheer her up so I've been writing the Story of Jesus according to Jeannie. I just sent part 2 to my daughter katie. She was a creative writing and philosophy major in college and is as warped as me. She just sent me a message saying"You're definately going to Hell for that one but it's freaking funny! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! She's great. She sent me the Monthy Python routine about the F word and it's many uses!. It's a killer.Hugs


Love
Jeannie

[DeeDee]

Not at all daniel..I've been in chats also when some were irritated because I didn't respond NOW!! Well,,write them off. That sort is ..oh well not going there..but a good answer is worth more. It does sometimes take time to formulate a good answer....but if they need a quick answer..just send them to a .gov web site..that should slow them down
You're doing fine
DeeDee

[Carol Ann]

Well that's why I don't go to chat rooms, they move to fast for my slow fingers. I agree with Lydia things just happen to fast for me.