Might Be Offline For a Bit

Jaye · Post by **Jaye** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:28 am

I hope not, but it's possible. I could go on for pages and pages about the events of the last year, but that's not what this forum is for. Let me see if I can condense things down to a form fit for public consumption.

Last fall, I moved back in with my parents in Virginia after a series of personal catastrophes. Mom passed away in November. Before she died, she issued a series of requests. She asked that my father, brother (Nate) and I not fight, in the interest of maintaining family cohesion. She asked that Nate and I stick together. She asked us to take care of Dad, because she thought he would need it. She told me a lot of little things, but it boiled down to her wanting me to be happy. She had a long, long talk with Dad. He didn't share any of this with us for a few months, but Mom knew that Dad would be lost, and lonely, and she wanted him to find someone new.

In January, Dad started internet dating. When he told us about this, Nate and worried, but he was chatting with women close to his own age. In February, he started seeing some of these women in person. About mid-month, he settled on one lady who lived in Elizabeth City, NC, about forty-five minutes from where we lived. In April, they married. Pretty quick, no?

After some discussion about where they would live, Dad decided to move in with her, while continuing to let my brother and I live in the house here. Dad continued to pay the mortgage, while Nate and I were responsible for all the utilities. Actually, Nate has been out of work all this time, so I've been paying the utilities. I only make about $8/hour, so things have been a little tight. That's understating things quite a bit. I live paycheck to paycheck, and there's not much I can afford to slide aside to save.

In the time since, Dad has assumed ALL of her expenses. She's a retired lady with a pension of her own, in addition to survivor benefits from her recently-deceased first husband. She was living very comfortably by herself, but Dad's old-fashioned, and he decided to take on everything, even if it put him into the poor house. Dad was working part-time (for supplemental income) when they met, but he has gradually scaled back his working hours, so he has less money to go around.

Dad originally told us he was taking a few pieces of furniture, but the rest and the appliances were ours for the taking. A couple of months ago, he started coming back to the house with a borrowed truck and removing things. First it was just the stuff he said he was taking. Then his new wife decided to start doling pieces out to her family. We've lost a bed, some shelves and assorted tables. She tried to take my grandmother's rocking chair, which I have always been fond of. I told Dad she could fight me for it, if she wanted it so bad. It stayed.

About a month ago, Dad announced that he was selling the house. He gave us November 1st as a move-out date. I asked if he would cut me some slack on the utilities so I could build a war-chest for apartment hunting, and he told me no. We asked if the move-out date could be adjusted, and Dad told us he was showing the house on the 2nd, and we'd better be gone.

Dad's been threatening to shut off the utilities, or at least the cable and internet. We can live without TV, but the internet is all but essential. I do everything online - communications, banking, bill-paying, hobbies, everything.

The apartment hunt has not been going well. Neither my brother nor I have good credit, and he has a criminal record to boot (one felony conviction for grand larceny). This also contributes to him not being able to find a job. We've applied at some of the dirtiest, rattiest-looking places, and been turned down either because of credit or Nate's record. One of my co-workers' Dad rents out some apartments, and he's going to show us a place Monday, but it won't be ready to move into for a couple of weeks. My coworker says her dad isn't a stickler for the usual rigmarole, so long as the rent is paid, but nothing's solid, yet.

Anyway, if I suddenly drop offline next week, this is why. I'll still be able to log on from work if need be (I'm typing this from here now), but I won't be lingering. Wish me luck.

Jaye

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:34 am

Jaye, my heart goes out to you, I wish you all the luck in the world.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:06 pm

Jaye, here is hopeing the best for you in your time of readjusting.

Leeza

Jennifer M · Post by **Jennifer M** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:02 am

Jaye,
I wish you the best,I hope things begin to improve for you.

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:25 am

Hi Jaye
Hope things will improve you Hon. I think it's one of the laws of the universe. " People who know you best will always throw you under the bus."Big hug.

Love
Jeannie

Jaye · Post by **Jaye** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:46 am

I got some good news today. We went to look at the apartment this morning. The neighborhood it's in used to be run-down, but it's in the middle of some major renovation/revitalization, and it's very nice. The apartment is one part of a four-plex, a large house broken down into four units. It's 950 square feet, with 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. The owner didn't have any other prospective tenants, so it's ours. It's $600 a month, which will make things a little tight till Nate gets a job, but it's workable.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:52 am

Good deal, Jaye. I hope Nate can get a job very soon.

Post by **DonnaT** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:41 pm

Dang, Jaye. Hope everything works out for you.

Sorry to hear your dad is being taken to the cleaners by his new wife. I've read and heard about similar stories. Some end quite badly, healthwise.

Jaye · Post by **Jaye** » Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:26 pm

We started moving this afternoon. We've only got my (very) light Nissan pickup, so it's been slow going. Plus, it rained cats and dogs, and Nate and I are both a little under the weather with colds, so we didn't get a lot done.

When I was calling to get all the utilities hooked up, I fudged the house number, so I spent this morning calling them all to change my info. Cable wasn't slated to be installed until Monday, so changing the order was no big. Alas, Dominion Power was not so accommodating. In order to change my service, they canceled the existing service call (scheduled for today), and rebooked it for Monday. I thought, since they were already sending a technician to that location, that they could just call the installer and tell him the number was different. The customer service rep told me that was "impossible", and a new order had to be placed, and that the earliest it could be arranged was for Monday morning. Additionally, they raised the amount of the deposit I would have to pay, for no apparent reason. The CSR was rude, too - once she confirmed my order, she hung up without warning.

It's all good, though. We have our new place. It doesn't quite feel like home yet, but it will.