Crossdressers-Haven.com

Ladies (both my TG sisters and GG's),

I am in a bit of a quandary, you see for some strange reason I have been thinking a lot about my birth mother whom I have not seen in 35 years. When I was very young, I was taken away by the court system and placed with my 2nd cousin and lived there for 10 years. At that time (16 years old), I chose to move back in with my birth father and my step mother (aka Mom to me, she knows about my CD and supports and even buys me things).

My quandary is this: I do not know WHY I am thinking about my birth mother after all these years. She obviously does not know about my crossdressing, and therefore I do not know if I would even tell her, she was very young when she had me and I just don't know why I am thinking about her NOW... Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

Kandis

Life is full of strange things and happenings everyday, could be you would just like to get to know her. I would not let my crossdressing get in the way of your feelings as you say you have a wonderful mother who helps you dress now. Took my mother about a year before she really except me and life was just great from then on.

If you'd like to get in touch, just to talk and such, then by all means make the effort.

I wouldn't bring up the topic of being trans, however. At least not until/if you get to know each other a little better.

I can understand the feeling of needing to get in touch. You probably have a lot of questions. I would advise going slow.

Sometimes the birth parent has started a life without telling the new family about the earlier child. She may or may not want yo in her life after all this time. You don't want to disupt the relationship that she may have going. Then too the pain of loseing a child to the courts is traumatic to some people. She may have tried to forget.

The reunions that we see on TV are the happier ones. Sometimes they go the other way. As Virgina loves to say, "Baby Steps". I wish you the best.

Leeza

Kandis:
The holiday season is an emotional roller coaster. It has a tendency to bring out all types of different feelings and thoughts.
Please be aware to this as you embark on your journey. If you have a spouse or friend that you can talk with to work throught he emotions fo this time of the year, I would suggest that you do so.

Hi Kandis

Yes, as Stephanie said, it could just be the time of the year that brings out these kinds of emotions. For me, I have always imagined that had I been adopted, the thought of who my birth mother might be would always be an 'open door' in my life...one without closure. Being human, many of us do need some kind of closure, so perhaps that's what's motivating your thoughts right now. While in your case you knew her, it is still a situation you had no control of at the time. Being trans may add another motivating factor inasmuch as she occupies a special place in your life as the person who gave you life, so thinking about whether or not you might want to tell her someday would be understandable. Don't feel bad as I see nothing unusual in thinking about her now, or at anytime.

Stephanie

Hi Kandis,

In reading your post, I am assuming that you either know where your mother lives and/or have some type of relationship with her???

I think that like my sisters have said, some of your feelings could be simply as a result of the season, but it could be more. There is a strong bond between a mother and her "daughter." I can attest to that. If the feelings continue or grow stronger, I would act on them.

Let us know what you decide to do.

Virginia

Kandis,

It could be the season or maybe just the ebb and flow of our inner passages through life. Who knows, and a better question might be why not be thinking of your birth mother?

If you know how to find her you could certainly look her up. Just remember that you were taken from her for a reason and be prepared for any outcome.


I'd suggest the crossdressing discussion wait until more basic things are dealt with.

Zari