Crossdressers-Haven.com

I would love to read WHY everyone who is a member on this forum doesn't write, chat or what ever.

Me I try my best as this is my home away from home and I really miss all the post and my dear friends in the chat room.

Come on now let's be honest, what it wrong what is happening?. I, we all need your imput as to what is going on.

Come on everyone say what is on your mine, I and everyone else would love to hear your complains, you can not fix it unless we know what is wrong. [/img]

Carol

There are many completely inactive members of this forum in the total number. The active members are in a minority.

I am sure the active members who do not post have their reasons, we do not force anyone to participate. This forum is 100% reliant on its members. You know yourself what a lovely crowd there is in the chat room, all we can do is tell people what a friendly place it is and ask people who have never tried it to come say hello to us. We do not bite.

Thank you Susan,
I WANT to hear from everyone I want to see how to fix this problem, love

Carol Ann I think a big reason is every one has a life and we need to juggle what is important to us. Over time our lives change, life changes, and so does what is important to us. This is a great forum and the people are great here. But this is still the internet and a computer. I am not sure about you Carol but I crave people interaction as in face to face. I hope to someday meet more of the people here but with people this forum often so far away that makes it difficult.

Just a thought from me.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

Susan wrote:We do not bite.

Unless asked to.

Hi Carol Ann and everyone. This has always been a quandry for me also...why people come and go. But as had been said, circumstances and obligations change, and some just get tired of routine. In my case, caring for my elderly dad has kicked up a few notches and takes a toll on me, both timewise and emotionally. I was doing so well as Dee just 1 1/2 years ago (actually considered going full time). Now all my plans have been put on hold and I grow older. My SO is still with me and has been a big help with dad which is amazing.....most would have left by now. But I still dress when I can and wear a nightie every night. So I apologize for not being here that much, but I do read the forum regularly and wish I could contribute more. Life things do change and we have to roll with the punches.
Hugs all
DeeDee

Why don't I chat, well sometimes I do, but not often, one I'm not sure how much I like on line chat, I can get a bit confused with the delays and stuff, but mostly, two my computer is usually in the family room, and a lot of activity might just raise a question or two.
Why don't I post more? well not much happening just at the moment to post about, life seems to consist of work, work, argue with bank and more work, however I am working on an arrangement of Palladio for the brass band.... but then you're not really interested in that are you?

So far so good, keep it coming. DeeDee I do understand your problem as I have one like it but it is my wife. I understand the pain and hurt of someone you love going down hill.

Hi Carol Ann--
I do go on chat on Saturday nights about once a month, and I have always had the same problem with it--I get bored with the lack of quick responses. Even with five-seven people in there, long stretches of time go by with nothing happening. I find myself replying to my own replies. For that reason alone, chat doesn't do much for me.

As for the other part of the forum--I'm more interested in the "whys" of CDing than I am the "hows." So I'll respond to a post about motivations for CDing, or whether or not to tell a girlfriend/wife. I'm less likely to respond to posts about perfume selection or bra sizing. Those seem to be the main posts right now, so I don't reply as much.

Life has been hectic the last few weeks, culminating in my sisters death and her burial on Saturday. My transmission is losing fluid and slipping, and I will have to take it into the shop to see if it can be fixed. I have spent more on the car now than I can get for it as junk or trade-in, so not sure if I will keep it or not. Really need to sell it and my house to stop owing any money. Just in general, life is not that much fun right now and I hate to post about problems, so unless I can post in the lighter side of things I just don't right now.

Guess that might explain things?
Carolynn

Carolynn,
First, sorry about your sister. Bummer about the rest of the issues. If we are a caring community, why can't you take advantage of us? Everyone needs to whine now and then; why not whine at us? Who knows, one day we all might whine back.

Carol Ann,
Yep, there are ebbs and tides in all our lives so even the chatty ones will have a break. As Susan said, the talkers are the minority. It's always going to be that way. There are those that joined only to read and never to chat.

Now here's a concern of mine. As fewer folks chat, fewer decide to join the chat. I've seen a couple chats die a slow death thru attrition.

I know, for me, there was a gap between the time I first came across the board and when I registered - and then a gap (of around 2 months) until I first posted. Basically I thought it was a worthwhile place but I wasn't sure I would fit in. Eventually I just got so desperate to talk that it overcame whatever fears I had. I mean that's one of the things that I think matters here, the overcoming of fear. Because (a lot of) people are really afraid of different aspects or ramifications of their CDing.

Acceptance is a lot of what it's all about. People don't post (a lot) because they fear rejection. Like I kept wondering "Am I the right sort of CD to fit in here?". Or then, in another aspect, if you post regularly you are kind of saying about yourself "Yes I am a CD" - and you're coming to that sort of acceptance of yourself rather than saying (for example) "well, yes I do like doing it some of the time, but I'm not really serious".

If you just read rather than post, you could be in that sort of zone - like someone who's conflicted about the CDing on the level of not knowing just how much of (if at all) they're a CD for real. And why not?

But who really needs a reason? In a subject like CDing there are all sorts of unwritten reasons (about everything). And anyway, maybe it's not so bad to have lots of readers...

It's hard to explain it, but lately, I've felt exhausted, like I have no energy. I've looked at posts, but I have nothing to say.

April Rose you took the words out of my mouth.

Leeza

Al I think being summer time seems to be slower in the forum in general. Many people like to be out and about in the summer enjoying the sun and fun. Some people garden and other to for walks or runs. Then there are the boat, RVs and just the general summer vacation/holiday. And of course there are all kinds of sports people play or attend. Those with kids in summer sports can be ready busy with a 2-3-4 kids.