Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi everybody,
So much has happened since I was here last. In the first months of 2016 my wife was in and out of the hospital and she was having a difficult time. It was extremely difficult to find time for Olivia. On two occasions I couldn't hold her in and went out on short excursions. In April, I did not renew my contract to teach the 2016/17 year. At the beginning of June my wife finally lost her battle with cancer and diabetes. I am still lost but struggling through. We had talked about going back to NY to be closer to family, so I followed through with that plan. My younger daughter has had a difficult time getting on tract after Sandy and it has been a stressful year for her. I am now in my old home town in a new apartment with my daughter and only 3 blocks from my other daughter, her husband, and my precious granddaughter. Extenuating circumstances forced me to fly to NY and then back to Hawaii to pack up for the move. I realized that living with my daughter would make it very hard to be Olivia, and I was under a lot of stress trying to figure out what and how to pack. Unfortunately, on a most stress filed day, I took Olivia's things and brought them to Goodwill. I have been thinking more and more about Olivia, noticing women's outfits and thinking how I would look or I would never wear that. Looking a clothes and shoes when I am in a store or at the mall. It is becoming almost impossible to keep my femine side inside. I do not know how or when I will accomplish Olivia's coming out, but I think it has to happen eventually. I am happy to be back with the great ladies here!!

Olivia

Welcome back, Olivia, you've been missed!

Our sincere condolences on the passing of your wife, but she is free of her pain.


Looking forward to your continued participation and Olivia's 'coming out' again!!


- SL and Virginia

Thanks for your kind words and continued support! It is going to take time and careful consideration, but I will get there!!

Olivia

It feels so good to be signing her name again!!

Welcome back, Olivia.

That's very sad about your wife. In a way, you probably did a good thing in getting rid of the clothes. It kind of rids you of some of the temptation to dress in front of your daughter - which might prove problematic.

Welcome back, Olivia. Sorry for your loss.

Wow Olivia. Let me see: Welcome Back Sorry for your loss Wecome back to the mainland and glad your move when well.

If you are having a tough time keeping Olivia contained, then it sounds like you are going to be having a talk with your daughter soon about Olivia. I hope that goes well.

I am very sorry for your loss Olivia. What a journey you've been on with her through her end of life. It's good you have your family close to you. I encourage you to take a year to process your loss not rushing into any major decisions. Give yourself space to grieve, and embrace yourself. I believe dressing as Olivia would help, but even that take your time to process your feelings there. With your daughters being so close be wise, and determine the best way to let them know about Olivia, or to keep Olivia to yourself. Did your wife know about Olivia? I don't know you,and your situation, but I grieve with you on your loss.

Samantha

Oh my. Can't say how sadden I am having read your post. Can't imagine what it is like, so won't try to pretend.

Hang in there, dear. Hope to hear from you soon.

Kelly.

Olivia you have been missed here, now we can understand why. Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this sad time, but you will come out the other side a stronger person. The sad memories will fade and you will remember the happy times. Give you family time to get over their grief before any thoughts of introducing Olivia.

I am sorry for you loss, Olivia. Perhaps in time you will be able to find a way to get some Olivia time. There are support groups in the New York area. Have you thought of contacting one of them?

Thanks everybody for your continued support and advice. It feels so good to be back. I am not going to rush into anything. Finding Olivia again wil be a gradual process, but it is going to happen. I thought of something else that Olivia never had to worry about. She will need fall and winter outfits. Wow! Finding women to confide will be problematic. Working where I did brought me into contact with many women. It's different here and even when I was living here I did not have women friends like I did in Hawaii. I do have some ideas to explore and thank you April Rose for reminding me about the support groups in NY. Looking forward to reading everyone's posts, being able to contribute by posting myself, and offering and receiving feedback on gallery pictures! Thanks again and talk soon!

Olivia

I took the advice of April and went online for support groups. Found an organization called Crossdressers International. They have a place in the city where they do a dinner and on another night a movie. There are changing rooms with lighted make-up mirrors. Looked very nice and they also do outings in the area. Will explore further. Has anyone heard of this organiztion?? Also, found a nice womem's clothing store today that I will be going back to.

I am sorry to read about your wife's passing. She now feels no pain.

It is good that you have family to support you however I can feel the frustration within that Olivia cannot be released.

They say that time heals all and I am sure that in the near future Olivia will make a grand and happy appearance.

Thanks RJ! Being around family has been good. Granddaughter has been great. My daughter got a job. Going to sporting events. Maybe spending a little too much money, but I will have a budget and say no to myself. I think you are right and there will be Olivia time eventually. Thanks again. Talk soon!

Olivia