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Before I ask the question, here's the situation.

My friend is getting married next month and I am in the bridal party (en drab of course). Never mind the fact that I CAN'T STAND WEDDINGS because of the STRESS that preceds it.

Anyway, my friends initially decided to set up the bachelor party on Friday the 24th of September. That would be no problem for me at all.

Now the next night I have plans to go to the city with some very close GG friends of mine I have not seen in months. We have made these plans since the beginning of the summer.

Anyway, I learned this week that the sons of bitches are now trying to reschedule the bachelor party for that SATURDAY - the SAME night as my girl outing which was planned since June. Meanwhile, I am just learning THIS WEEK of the change of date for the Bachelor party TO THE SAME DAMN NIGHT!!

I REALLY don't want to change my plans. Is that selfish of me? My friends are the ones who are pulling this last-minute changeup on me.

SO what would YOU do? Which group of friends would you say no to?

This crap happens to me ALL THE TIME... it never ends.

hi Lorna,
I myself would tell the guys i have made plans for the same night as the party and could not change them so sorry guys. Then i would go with the GG's and have fuuun.
hugs
Sandi

Thanks girls...

I guess I could do both - but since both get-togethers are taking place in the city (45 min away from me) it means one of two things: show up at my buddy's bachelor party as Lorna (they know already but this is a guy event), or show up to meet my GG friends en drab (this was supposed to be a girl event)

I guess what I really want to do is try & convince my buddies to put the date of the bachelor party back to when it was. (As for the groom-to-be, he's free both nights anyway) so let someone ELSE break THEIR plans for a change.

It's just that too many times I have broken plans in the past, giving up what I wanted to do, just to be "a good friend" by "being there".

Many a night on my way into the city I would get a call from one of my old friends who wanted to play cards or go fishing. Half the time I would turn sround, wash off the makeup and get back en drab, even if that was my only oppotunity to dress all week. And in those instances when I refused, they would guilt me by saying "Ever since you started going to the city, what are you, too good for us?" Meanwhile they're all either married or in relationships. I'm still single.

I've been desperately been trying to nip their guilt trips in the bud for some time now. At the same time trying to teach them a lesson in CONSIDERATION - give a person sufficient NOTICE when you request their attendance. But it's apparently not working. I posted on this very issue many months ago.

My life is a SITCOM.

with Sandi

Hi Lorna. Wow, you are such a social butterfly!!!! Guess it's time for the truth. Tell them "I have a date with (however many) girls that has been planned for weeks, and since you changed the Bachelor party on short notice, the longer term date prevails. So have fun guys!" Besides, would you rather be in a room full of drunken guys determined to get blasted out of their minds, or having a great time with the girls? I think I know what the participants of the bachelor party would do, given the choice !!!!

Lorna,

You scheduled the GG get together first, so give the guys your regrets and let Lorna have a great time with her GG friends. Trying to put in an appearance with the guys first in drab just isn't possible for you.

This is my view. Of course it's ultimately your decision.

Jadeanne

Could you do Flinstones stunt running back and forth from one party ot the next changing in the middle..

Just a thought.


Have fun not matter what you do.

Jessie

Sharon(SO) wrote:Lorna,
If i were you I'd go to the bachelor party for about an hour and tell them you had made other plans and need to leave early. Then go out with you GG friends and party the rest of the night...

Sharon

Leave it to a GG to figure out a great solution.

I like this one the best.

Beauty

Nah, Carolynn is right. Tell the guys to go to h*ll.

HI Lorna,

If someone told me a date for an event, then changed it, and I had already made plans for the day they changed it to. I would not have any problem telling them that I already had plans for the night they chose, and would not be able to attend. I don't live for other people any more. I did that too long, and no on ends up appreciating the sacrifice anyway.

Two therapists, and two pshchatrists have told me to start making myself happy and let others worry about making themselves happy, We can not be responsible for the happiness of others.

Hope that helps.

Love always,
Elizabeth

I'm with Sandi , Darlene, Ginny, JadeAnne and Elizabeth

Hi Lorna,

Sounds like a choice between a night out with the guys (who you probably see every week) or a night out with the girls (who you havent seen in months). For me, no contest!

I'd say something like -

"Hey guys, please don't change the date for the batchelor party at such short notice or I won't be able to make it. The original date is fine for me but I've a prior engagement for the Saturday, arranged months ago - and I just can't cancel."

Hopefully you'll be able to go to both, but if you can only make it to one make it the one you would prefer to attend. Oh, and have a great time!

Mandy

PS - You ask "is that selfish of me?". No, it's the people changing the date of the batchelor party at such short notice who are being selfish.

Awwww....

I personally would have to stick to my original promise, it seems only fair. Just say to them that you can't make that Saturday for various reasons, the only way I would not go with my original plans was if the new party was family members.

Sophie xx

Hi all,

Lorna,

They changed the stag on too short a notice; that's their bad. Stick with your original plans and go with the girls. How often do you get to see your friend, as compared to how often you see these girls? Throw that in the mix, too.

If you don't attend the bachelor party, your friend might think you're inconsiderate. While there may be a kernel of truth there, regarding this particular situation, he's the more inconsiderate of the two for supposing that everyone will be able to modify their own plans at the drop of a hat just to suit his own social agenda.

Stick to your guns (or to your garters), Lorna!

Love,
CJ

Hey Lorna,

If I was in your situation, I would graciously apologize to the guys and tell them that I already have plans for that night that cannot be changed. Then I'd go party my with my girlfriends And not give it a second thought

*Hugs & Love*