i did a selfish thing...

[Oregon (SO)]

hi all, well this is about as off topic as you can get, not sure anyone will even see this, but here goes...

I bought two tickets to see the band U2 in concernt in Sept.. I was to go with my girl friend, we bought these about two months ago. well just yesterday i found out that a comedianne who i have this huge crush on is coming on the very same day I have tickets. Without hesitiation I scanned for tickets and wound up with front row, I bought them on the spot. i feel so bad becuase this friend of mine is a bit sensative but i was hoping she would understand how much seeing this guy meant to me. I mean I have every one of his movie posters in my basement. have spent easily a few hundred bucks on his dvd's and well I just adore him.

okay, so I told her today on the phone the truth that I had to go to this other thing but I had a few ideas about how we might be able to still see U2. basically i am starting to look to see if I can trade nights with someone, which is not that crazy as it sounds, i already found two different websites with people looking to swap. But I did nto get to tell her any of this because as soon as she heard me say this she just went nuts on the phone saying I was flaking out on her and how I am the third friend to cancel something with her in a 24 hr period. she started crying and i could not even get a word in to try to explain what I was hoping I could do, i mean, i got alot of time to figure out a new plan. and of course worse case scenario is she goes to the concert alone if she cannto find any friend willing to go with her (with my ticket).

anyway, she did not give me anymore time on the phone, she said she had to hang up or else she was going to say something she might regret later.

of course here i am in the middle of teh night trying desperately to find tickets to another night and wirting this on here because i feel like this horrible selfish friend.

so....how horrible and selfish am I? doesn't it make her selfish to the not be wiling to even listen 'why' me going to see david spade was more important than going to u2?

oh I am a mess...

kath in canada

[CJ]

Hi all,

Kathy,

You're not selfish; you're not a mess; and, unfortunately, I have no U2 tickets to swap with you (I would if I did... Montreal, Toronto, what's a couple of hours on the road?).

Don't worry too much about your friend. She's still in the heat of the moment. She's just really disappointed. Her expectations were high. This is not solely your doing. You have many weeks to come up with alternatives. Just make sure that you talk with her and that she understands that sometimes we're called to forego "the road not taken" as we "follow our bliss." This holds true as much for our cultural passions as it does for our spiritual awakenings. Just give your friend a bit of time to cool down. She'll be fine; I'm sure U2 will work something out.

David Spade, eh? Personally, I think he's at his best in Joe Dirt. The alligator scene (or was it crocodiles?) had me pressing the rewind button over and over again, ROTFLMAO!

Good luck, Kathy! Please, don't be so hard on yourself.

Love,
CJ

[Anita]

Hi Kathy--
What a situation that one is! I feel for your, for sure. I wouldn't get down on yourself for going on an impulse, and trying to have yer cake and eat it, too. But I'd have to say your friend's initial reaction is to be expected, too. 'Specially if it's one of those "last straw" set-ups, and it sounds like this one was. You were unlucky enough to be the third one calling with this kind of news!

I hope that when you talk to her next, you've got those U2 tickets nailed down.
A

[Beauty]

Hi Kathy,

It sounds like she had a really bad day. I don't know her well enough to tell if she was using drama to persuade, but it sounded real enough.

I like to do what I like to do, when I like to do it. If I have something that I planned with a friend, but then I change my mind and don't want to go I'll tell them like you did. I guess depending on their reaction I'd re-evaluate, but they'd have to present a rather strong case of me not being nice to change my mind.

If you feel that you'll never see David Spade again in your area, then you need to go see him. If you feel you're being not cool to a friend who has been there for you and she needs a friend right now, then I'd say stay with your commitment to her.

This one is tough!!!!!! I wish you the best and I hope you let us know what you decide.

Beauty

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Kathy,

This one is hard for me to reply too. I don’t have any friends like that, and if I did they would soon become ex friends. I refuse to be made responsible for someone’s happiness. It is important to me that I and my friends have the freedom to be free.

I hope this is something that can be worked out.

Love Darlene.

[DonnaT]

No you're no a mess, but you are in one, eh?

I see a two fold problem. One, you go see Spade (Joe Dirt? what was that on his head ) but probably won't be able to enjoy it for feeling bad about your friend; and Two, resentment of your friend if you miss seeing Spade, and thus being unable to enjoy U2.

Which is more important, a real life friend, or Spade?

I do hope you can swap the U2 tickets out, and things get back to normal with your friend.

[Virginia]

I can not add much to what my sisters have said short of it appears that you are trying to find a solution and your friend was too upset to even listen, if she is your friend, she will calm down and you two will be able to solve this.
Love,
Virginia

[Lorna]

Hey sweetie,

I can tell you that I've been in your position more times than I care to remember. But then again you still have plenty of time to switch nights.

As for your friend, she will evebntually calm down a bit & allow you to explain to her your side. Simply let her know that you still want to go see the U2 concert, but let her know how you feel about this opportunity! Hopefully she won't be too upset after that.

Case & point - I was supposed to go to Diva Las Vegas back in April, but then my best friend's dad passed away. Things will always pop up after the initial arrangements are made, and there is very little that we can do.

There is still plenty of time - I'm confident that everything will work out. Hope you have a blast at both shows!!

*hugs*

~ Lorna

[Oregon (SO)]

thanks so much to all who repiled.

i did finally get to talk to her, she gave me a total reaming that went on a good 10 mins, but i nkow i deserved it. basically i have already talked to two different peple about swappin nights for the u2 show so things look good to make something happen.

i dont think she really understood the deapth of my insanity towards david spade (ALTHOUGH YOU THINK THE THREE MOVIE POSTERS IN MY BASEMENT WOULD HAVE CLUED ANYONE OFF!)

anyway, she is still bummed that i did not consult with her, but she said that she will get over it and lossing me as a friend is not going to happen.

so...thanks again for all of you gals responding, i was really really down that night and just felt like the biggest jerk... but now i just feel like things are going to work out and maybe, just maybe i can have my spade and eat u2! oh...lame...lame joke....

ps..
hmm....hey it was nice to know i was not the only one who saw Joe Dirt, of course I am probably the only goof ball who saw it twice and of course had to buy the dvd.

pss...also if anyone finds him slightly amusing he is supposed to have a show on Commedy Central this fall that was similiar to his bit on SNL called the Hollywood Minute, where he trashes celebrities. please watch it people, can't handle him losing another show....boo--hooo

hugs
kathy in canada

[Beauty]

Hi Kathy,

I'm glad it all worked out!!

ps..
hmm....hey it was nice to know i was not the only one who saw Joe Dirt, of course I am probably the only goof ball who saw it twice and of course had to buy the dvd

"I am your sister.. I am your sister!"

Beauty