Dread and the Transgendered Mind

[Nick]

Some might think that I've made a very unwise decision, but I have good feelings about what I'm doing. I'm trying to get back in the rat-race, as per I can't make much money doing music (yet). So just like most normal people without a college education or a trade, I went around to different places around town and picked up a crap-ton of apps. Being that I live in a Bible-whipped midwestern hell-hole, I got told by a large number of the places either A) "We're not hiring right now." or B) "We don't have any applications at this time". Something in the way they said it told me something else, though. "You're a freak, and freaks can't work here."

If you haven't guessed already, I was looking for work en femme. I've been heavily considering transition, and I've decided that if I need to be able to find work where I can be female (or as close as I can get to it) to get a better picture of whether or not this is something that I want to go through with before blowing thousands on therapists.

As far as the good part of my job-hunt goes, I did get about 10 aps from various places in the local mall, and everyone that I handed an app to was very polite... 'cept for the one that had the audacity to call me "sir"... dirty Kansans. I mean, come on, I know that I barely pass with my face since I stopped wearing wigs ('cause they kill hair), but I was wearing my normal B-cup bra with a rather revealing top! Oh, well... at least she was nice to me when I turned it in...

I was told that I would get a couple of phone calls, but I'm going to call back on all of them on Monday, and if they don't hire me... then I'll... just... go to the liberal side of town and try to find work there!

Also, if anyone in my reserve unit happens to see me working at one of those places, well... it will only expediate my path out of the military (which is what I want because I don't want to endanger my life for no apperent and end up as a number on a t-shirt).

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Nick!

Perseverance. That's a good thing! You'll do fine. Good luck finding something. You'll do it. Yes, make those calls on Monday. Most importantly, do NOT give up your music. The rat race helps satisfy needs for food, clothing, and shelter. The music or whatever creative endeavour we perform is what makes us better.

^_^

[Carol Ann]

Stephanie:,
So nicely put the music end of it.

Nick:
I read your letter with joy and sadness, I love someone who is willing to put thier future on the line for what they want. We have laws to protect transgendered people but when presenting yourself for a job it's a very steep hill to climb. Perhaps a support group in your area can help with a list of companys who really don't care as long as you show up everyday and are willing to bust your butt.

Sadly I am sorry you want out of the military, I served and retired with out a scrash only a broken arm and leg on a windy night drop. But to each his own
in thier own way. Carol Ann

[Nick]

Stephanie:,
So nicely put the music end of it.

Nick:
I read your letter with joy and sadness, I love someone who is willing to put thier future on the line for what they want. We have laws to protect transgendered people but when presenting yourself for a job it's a very steep hill to climb. Perhaps a support group in your area can help with a list of companys who really don't care as long as you show up everyday and are willing to bust your butt.

Sadly I am sorry you want out of the military, I served and retired with out a scrash only a broken arm and leg on a windy night drop. But to each his own
in thier own way. Carol Ann

Well, I'll make it no matter what the system / gov't / society says I can and can't do.

As far as support groups go... well... there are none that exist in my town. It sucks, but like I said, I'll make it through.

I want out of the military for a number of reasons outside of the fact that I'm trans. A) I don't want to die, B) I don't want to die as part of a Bush regime plot to wage a war to make himself feel good about making change in the world, C) I want nothing to do with a war waged to make our dictator feel better about himself. Now if the war in Iraq was directly related to the freedom that Americans always thank soldiers like me for *lowers head in shame*, then I might feel a bit less queasy about staying in and spending more time over there.

[Carol Ann]

Sorry Nick didn't mean to upset you, we all have our opinion and you stated yours I will respect it. Carol Ann

[Nick]

Well, long story short, I got called a circus act, then I was accused of looking trashy, and finally got comforted by the fact that there were gay employees.

Short story long, I went in for an interview at a Kirby vaccuum office (as a male), and I was accepted into the training course. I went to the first day of the training course as a male, and I heard one of the trainers say "Lying will get you nowhere in this company." I also needed a tie, and I couldn't even find the tie that goes with my army greens. So I went to the second day of training (today)... and I went as a woman. I knew it would happen, and I camed fully prepared for it. I was called into the trainers' office. There was a male and a female.

"Lynn" the male (we'll call him "Jay") said, "We find your attire today to be rather shocking." I was wearing a pair of black slacks, a red top, and a black half-sleeve button-up unbuttoned with a pair of conservative black heals (with heals the size of a regular human heal). I also was wearing red nail polish and lipstick (which I am mentioning because of the fact that it was mentioned to me... I had the regular make-up on with it). "We're afraid that you're going to go in a house, and poeple will want to talk about you, and not the vacuums... I mean, I'm from California, so I've seen it all. I'm as liberal as they come. For them, it'll be like a circus show... I mean, we have gay people who work for the company, and they are good friends of mine... I don't know what you've got going on with the brasiere (sp?), but it's got to go, along with the make-up." The female (eh... I like the name "Nancy") agreed with every word, and then Jay left. Jay also mentioned that they couldn't discriminate against me. During his spu, I was able to get out that quote above as defense.

Then Nancy took center stage. "We feel that we were decieved when we hired you. We interviewed 70 people, and we thought that you were one of the best... if I came in with rollers in my hair looking all trashy, do you think I would last long?... Don't worry, I think you look adorable, but when you start taking on more feminine qualities, like growing your hair out, then you can dress as you are."

I then explained to Nancy my wish to transition, and what that entails, and my plans over the next couple of months to step towards accomplishing that once I start making some money there. I am aware that the people above me will be eye-balling me, but I'll make them thankful that they decided to keep me. I will do what I need to do to succeed here, not only so I can make an backside-ton of money, but also so I can help smash the lies of the Jerry Springer show on the way the Trans-community is viewed (the fact that we can only make a living in the sex/porn industry).

I will not be stopped by any idiot conservative big-wigs trying to intimidate me because they have a higher position than I do (even the ones that say they're liberal).