Crossdressers-Haven.com

Since I offered to update the forum software several months ago, I've developed another conundrum altogether. I really don't mind helping take care of the forum, because working with software is something I really enjoy. My work here requires less time than any of the moderators, it's just a bit more intense (sometimes.) But having the title 'Software Administrator' beneath my avatar on every post carries a larger responsibility. I have to think a lot more about what I post because at least half (if not more) of it could be construed as coming from forum management. What I say can be direct or abrasive at times. Sometimes I try a bit too hard to explain technical things, other times I try too hard not to say exactly how I feel. The bad thing (for me) is that I feel like I'm censoring myself too often. The good thing is at the tender young age of not-quite-50 I'm learning more restraint. I guess what troubles me most is I've now added another level of duality to my already dual personality. D'oh!! What's a gal to do?

Hi Caith,
I say that without going to far(as none of us should)you should just be yourself.I would think that if any problems resulted from that,that they would be resovled properly.Personnally I dont think that any serious problems would arise.Speaking only for myself I occasionally need a slap in the face from those on this forum(and you know who you are LOL)to snap out of a bad spell.I could not have made it this far without them or those like them.

Caith, Caith, Caith,

Boy, do your words sound familiar! Here's the deal, Caith. As long as you, along with everyone else, abide by the forum rules and guidelines, you're free to say what you want and to express yourself in the way that you want.

I say your words sound familiar because oh! seems like three or four decades ago now! when Sharon and Gracie asked me to be a moderator on this board--the first, aside from Gracie herself--I hesitated. I hesitated because I didn't want to be limited in what I could say nor in how to express myself. I remember seeking assurances from both Sharon and Gracie that, should I accept the Mod gig, I'd still be able to post as li'l ol' me. They gave me such assurances and I've never looked back.

The main difference, once I became a Mod (and, perhaps, you'll find this happening in your case, too, Caith, as the forum's Software Admin), is that I received PMs in my inbox a little bit more often than I used to. And, of course, I also found myself in the position of having to, well, moderate, this or that thread once in a while. But I was still given the opportunity to remain myself. And, to this day, I still do remain myself.

So, like Jennifer said, just go ahead and be who you are, Luv. Don't "split" yourself any further. There's no need to, really. Enjoy the board just as any other member would. That's what I do.

Again, thanks for all that you do for us. You rock!

Love,
CJ

Caith, honey you have to remember to old adage, "Never send ten men to do what one woman can do ------- it tends to embarrass the poor dears!" You are doing a great job and if anyone gives you a hard time, well just reach into their 'puter and turn them off!!!!

and you Ms. CJ, if you would stop dragging me off to the woodshed everytime I post something, I could make some inroads with my problems. --- UH, 'DATS A JOKE,KID!!!!!

We have the best mods and moderated forum on the net and the girls here make up the best sorority anywhere!!!

Love you all,

Virginia

Hey, Caith!

Well, CJ and Virginia have it right, and so does Jennifer . . . you have to be yourself.

But, just like CJ, I know from whence you speak! I had, and occasionally still have, the same concerns, but I really don't worry about it anymore.

Yes, I am a bit more careful overall in how I respond to various posts. If I need to put on my Site Admin hat, well, I leave no doubt that it's the SA part of me responding! In those cases, only a fool would ignore me . . . and some have, much to their chagrin.

Occasionally someone will choose to misinterpret my post, putting something "in between the lines" where none was intended but, luckily, those seem to be the rare ones. Indeed, we have a pretty good group of members here, ain't in great!?!

Just be your wonderful self, hon!!

((Hugs))

- SL

Hi Caith,

When you say “other times I try too hard not to say exactly how I feel. The bad thing (for me) is that I feel like I'm censoring myself too often. “ then you’re defeating the purpose of the forum aren’t you. As has been said, as long as we keep within the rules of the forum ( and I think we’ve all seen where some latitude is given at times when the occasion demands it) then where’s the problem?

I’m sure you’re quite able to ‘wear two bonnets’ very efficiently, but the important thing is to always be honest and true to yourself, and if we ever go out of our way to NOT say exactly how we feel and we censor ourselves, then of course we’re not only defeating the purpose of this forum, importantly, we’re also hiding and still ‘living a lie’ to a degree, aren’t we.

I strongly believe it’s important for us all to be true to ourselves first, and if we suppress our true feelings and don’t say what we truly want to, then, as you undoubtedly know we’ll regret not having said it as we needed to, and that gives us a sense of failure. I know that people don’t always agree with things I say, but as long as I express myself without offence then I feel I’m at liberty to say the truth about an issue as I see it. If everyone agreed with everyone else on every issue then we’d never learn anything, it’s differing opinions and healthy debate which opens our minds to new things.

Keep up the good work and remember that having a title after your name carries a higher salary…..

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Hi Caith
Don't drive yourself crazy worrying what you say and do. You're are smart , generous lady, a computer whiz and if you think too much about what you say and how others will take it you will never be your true self but everyone else around you will be happy. That's called a politician. You don't want to go there Hon.
I always say"If you're not yourself,you'll end up as no one at all." It took me 55 wasted years to figure that out.
If you say something that upsets someone, that's life Caith. This is not a perfect world. The fabulous Mods and site Administrators on this forum(Aka The Gestappo) will take you to the woodshed but being very submissive, I love it. I throw myself under the bus all the time just for fun, but that's me.
I feel a blog coming on but I'll have to post it on MySpace our I'll be in real trouble here. Be yourself Caith and live your life for you and not others. That makes no sense. You're a good person. Big hug and smooch.


Love
Auntie Jeannie

Hay Caith,
Sorry I missed the post so really don't know what is going on or what has been said. But the part of your thread about your title under your name, sweetheart just remove it

As far as you not being able to be yourself that is a mine block .
This forum is based on friendship, love, and understanding .

Hay I speak my mine and yes have been told twice I was out of line
be yourself girl and put the software problems on the back shelf.

Goddess bless all you wonderful people for reminding me. Now, if you'll also promise to take me to the woodshed whenever I deserve it, I should be able to completely forget this silly worry. Deal?

Well, if we must . . . but because I think you're looking forward to going to the wood shed, I'm not sure that I'll send you there should the need arise!! The wood shed is meant for punishment, hon, not pleasure!





- SL

Caith, I hear where you are coming from like the others have said. For me I have found reviewing what I write at times can be a good thing. And I do believe that we should be held to a bit higher standard. But I have also come to use four letters a bit more. I use IMHO to impress that it is my opinion and not that of this forum or my position. For you do need to be yourself and it is ok for you to be a real person. And if there is ever a question as to if the content is you or your position hey we can edit it and make it clearer. We are all just human.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

SilverLady(SO) wrote:.... The wood shed is meant for punishment, hon, not pleasure!

Well I hear punishment can be pleasure for some.

with KimberlyS,

SilverLady(SO) wrote:.... The wood shed is meant for punishment, hon, not pleasure!

Methinks SilverLady doth know me too darned well

Uh, yeah, hmmmm... s'there still some room in there?

Love,
CJ