KimberlyS wrote:And as CDers, I hear so often that it is "all male or all female" for the CDer and can not be anywhere in the middle. If that is who you are that is great. But to me is seems like some people are obsessed to pass to stick to the bi-gender system. What is wrong with a pretty boy or sissy boy that may be hetrosexual, or a butch gal that is not a lesbian. I hear it over and over that they are just clothes.
Kimberly,
I agree. For me at least, I'm just part feminine and enjoy feeling and dressing partially feminine but I'm not passable and I just enjoy what I am.
Not to say that others need to feel this way. Everyone needs to find their comfort point.
As I mentionned a while before, I don't believe I'd belong as a woman.
I just think that the world could benefit from feminity, and that we should embrace that facet of ourselves.
I found the feminine world to be just al full of delusions and shallow judgement as the ''male world''. Both gender roles now exist without basis, they are obsolete.
I don't long for biological change. The only reason I long for bodily feminity is because society tells me that acting upon my impultions is wrong for my gender role. Why shouldn't be able to wear a dress or soft clothes? Why shouldn't be allowed to giggle, to cry, to smile? Why should I seal away my emotions and put on a mask of steel? Why, oh why can't I love pink, purple and baby blue? Why shouldn't I enjoy fruity drinks?
Because society tells me those things are for those born with a vagina.
Why is that? What will happen If I suddently wear a skirt and a tight t-shirt? Will I melt to dust? Of course not! However, for some reason, i will be greeted with mockery and reject. I get these reactions not for what I've done, but because I have transcended some ''unwritten law of the universe'' that is driled into every generation by the media.
This isn't a jungle anymore! Showing a soft side isn't a deadly disease.
Thus, without delusions, I make a stand and say F*** the rules. I shouldn't go out of my way to emulate the female sex characteristics. If I love having a feminine shape, so be it, but I won't go out of my way simply to achieve some illusion, some façade that will give me but an ouce of acceptance. For long have I thought of getting hormones, but that was just to get acceptance as a female. Why did I want that? I wanted that to be as close to them as possible to emulate their body, for only then would it be acceptable to emulate their behavior which my heart and soul craved. But I happened upon the realisation that one is not bound by the flesh, one is bound by ideas. Why did I need some kind of permssion to act upon these impulses my heart inflicts upon me?
Why should I go so far as to modify my body, my own flesh and blood, simply to please some crumbling illusory construct?
Most of these questions go without awnser, for any awnser would be but a delusion.
I don't put tags on my body, mind and soul such as ''male'' or ''female''. I go with what makes me happy. I go with the things that bring peace to my inner sanctums.
Many would call me an anarchist. Many would classify me as ''in denial''. Even more would flag me with even more derogatory terms. If that is the terminology you wish to use to define those who soar without your chains, then I accept these names with pride. They say the truth truly hurts, but that is a lie. Truth shatters your masks and shreads your figments. That feeling of unease it brings is not one of weakness, it is one of nakedness. For many, this would be synonymous, but if you cater to the face under the masks, that being which is technically yourself, being naked will not fring fear, but pride. the pride of being able to show the world that this is what you are. The pride of showing them the unshakable foundations of your innermost being and that it is unbound by them. However, you will be loathed and feared, for people hate what they cannot bind, understand and control. But in the end, people will accept it as an inevitability, just like people embracd the laws of physics. It will take time, but only then will you see the humble face of mankind smiling back at you with its own true smile hidden behind the veil of deceit.
I embrace my feminity, but that doesn't define who I am.
I deny the chains that used to bind me, for being bound to the ground means that you will never be truly happy.
I am not a man nor a woman, and never shall I be.
I am not in between, nor is that the path I encourage.
I am not something else, for that would also be a badge.
I am all, yet I am none, for none but thyself should define what thy be.
''We are strong, yet we don't belong. Born in this world as it all falls apart.''
Hot damn, Azurielle! You're sizzlin'! I love it! You reached your hand into my big mouth and plucked the words right out of my brain (and it didn't hurt one bit!).
I've never been attracted to men although I do hug other men regularly and very rarely give them a kiss on the cheek. Back when I used to dance I would fast dance with men or do group slow dances with men and women but the bump and grind slow dance I only did with women. Since that was the only dancing I knew, as you can imagine at my wedding I had a lot of trouble when I had to dance with my mother.
I feel like I'm repeating myself so my apologies to those who have heard this before. I have a lot of traits that society labels feminine but I don't see them as that, I see them as just me. I like being a guy, although when I was younger and couldn't play sports that well due to lack of coordination I often felt like a boy trapped in a boys body that wouldn't do what I wanted it to.
Wearing womens clothing for me is sometimes about affection, like if I wear my wifes sweatshirt. Other times it's about a bunch of stuff. Theatricality and playing pretend. Being my own imaginary friend. Comfort and getting away with something, secretiveness. And of course. Be inside the clothes, be inside the woman. Be your own imaginary lover or pretend that you are her. All sorts of stuff. But I think it boils down to having the fascination that all 8 year olds have with this and the fear of being caught made it so powerful that I never let it go.
Why wouldn't we be excited by lingerie. If we weren't think of all that effort and money that's been wasted on it by the advertising industry among others. And for me the next logical step from a sexy bustier and stockings was a comfortable skirt and womens' tee.
Absaroka
Last edited by Absaroka on Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
Well most men are just boring, some are dumb and many are just ignorant. What is key to an attraction is someone who likes me. Mostly I am attracted to woman, they are jsut more interesting. I am a guy who loves to CD.. am I a lesbian in a man's body?
I love to dress up. I love the feel of feminine undergarments on my skin.
I imagine that I could be in full dressup always and pass in public as a totally frue-frue girrly girl.
Hi ladies
The problem of being yourself is that most don't know who they are. They can't distinguish between a fetish,disorder or their real self. That's life.
You can tell yourself anything you want and believe it and live your whole life in complete denial. That's great. Knock yourself out. If ignorance is bliss you will always live in Nirvana. Is that so bad? Hugs.
Love
Auntie Jeannie
PS I read things on here that are so self serving and self absorbed and they try to justify they're behavior. It's so funny I can't stand it. It's called being clueless like our President. Three words Ladies"Get a Grip!"
I wish I could sit down and the proper words just come flowing, like it does for some of you girls. What has been espoused by all of you so expresses how I feel and wish society could just accept us for what we are, fine, law abiding citizens who have a softer side, whether we show it in our dress or our emotions.
I agree with you Kim, everyone is different, you know my situation and a person can be happy at a lot of stages in the transition, only everybody has a little different plateau., See I do post once in a while Christine.
I have come to realize that no one will love as I am becasue I hide myself from others. I cannot be public as a CD. So I jsut accept that. I accept that I am a mystery to myself, that I will never know who I am and just love the lucsiousness of me and the pleasure of dressing up..
I love to dress up. I love the feel of feminine undergarments on my skin.
I imagine that I could be in full dressup always and pass in public as a totally frue-frue girrly girl.
"The shadow knows!"
You know what ladies. Just be yourself and don't worry about. Let others do that for you.
And CJ ,I'm up most of the time Hon. I could never sleep well my whole life and just sleep in small shifts like an hour or two here and there. It drove Mini crazy! Being over my shop I go down in the middle of the night and work. It's the best part of the day. Very calm and quiet with little interuptions from those pesky humans.
It's 1:45 am and I just cleaned up after grilling for the monkeys and me and Marley are going down the shop to do some office work. My situation is perfect for who I am. My Mom Jennie was the same way. Wandering around the house all night and saying things that made no sense. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree CJ but some are very happy in their own little world. It's like being in Disneyland 24/7! Your own private Idaho.
I just got a great idea I have to share with Barack Obama. I know he'll love it! Life is a carnival so just enjoy the rides. Hugs.
Jeannie wrote:I just got a great idea I have to share with Barack Obama. I know he'll love it!
I do so hope that it entails keeping him and his family in Iraq or Afghanistan and letting him become (lifetime) president there?!?
(Hugs)
- SL
SilverLady(SO) - Native Motor City and Wolverine gal . . . GO BLUE!! - Molon Labe - Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum - Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard
Hi Hon
He's already the President of Europe so he might as well go for the whole enchalada. He's going to win in a landslide with the French,English and German vote. However it will take quite a while to count all those absentee ballots. I hope they don't do it in Florida or he'll be screwed.
One little known fact girls. John McCain is secretly taking private Charisma lessons from Barack but you know what they say"You can't teach an old dog new tricks." One good thing is if Senator McCain loses the election he could always get a job as a ventriloquists dummy. The Cindy and John Show. The new Sonny and Cher. How cute would that be!
Have a wonderful sunday ladies. Big hug.
Love
Jeannie
PS I was checking out a religious blog on MySpace and it was on the middle east with Jews and Muslims from Isreal,Iraq and Saudi Arabia going at it. Whoa! It was an eye opener to say the least. I stayed out of that one. If words could kill the bodies would of been be piling up on the floor. It was viscious ladies. You could feel the hatred. Scary. Real scary.
I love it! You reached your hand into my big mouth and plucked the words right out of my brain (and it didn't hurt one bit!). 
I cannot be public as a CD. So I jsut accept that. I accept that I am a mystery to myself, 
that I will never know who I am and just love the lucsiousness of me and the pleasure of dressing up.. 
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard