Have you ever been harassed while out en femme in public?

[DeeDee]

I think the "public" is more accepting of us now for various reasons, but there are still dangers. Certain places and areas should be avoided. I guess the worst harassment I ever got was at DisneyWorld and it turned out OK . My friend and I took the ferry to the entrance and a short, fat woman with really outrageous hair started in on us. She had her two young sons with her who were about 4' tall and 3' wide. At first I was thinking "uhoh", but the other passengers stared her down and didn't join her verbal assault (which I think she expected). They were there for a good time, not bashing. So she got quiet, but I bet she was nasty in every aspect of her life. Other than that, a few stares at times, thats all. So go forth and prosper....life is what you make it
Hugs
DeeDee

[Stephanie W]

Hi Charla

So much depends on your attitude and how confident you feel. If you feel nervous, you'll usually attract more attention, which gives people the chance for a closer look as they try and satisfy their curiousity as to why you have suddenly registered on their radar.

My own experiences have been very positive I'm happy to say. I've been out and about for a few years now and apart from the odd wide-eyed OMG, to the occasional double take, I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary in all the times I've been going out. At least so far! When I was out a couple of weeks ago, I took my first solo subway ride on a semi-crowded train, but didn't get any odd looks, despite being in a proverbial "fishbowl". It was early evening and having been out all day shopping, my confidence was pretty high. That said, I instinctively don't ever let my guard down and always keep my wits about me, just in case.

Stories of running into groups of teenage girls can chill the most seasoned CDer, as I'm sure you've read on this forum. It's hard to avoid them when you're in the mall as I was, but if you have that confidence, it shouldn't present any problems you can't handle. During my shopping trip that day, I did have to use the ladies room in the busy mall and upon entering this particular time, I very quickly noticed a group of about a dozen schoolgirls congregated around the mirrors just chatting away. I immediately turned round and walked out before they even saw me. I wasn't quite ready to relive "Custer's Last Stand".

Stating the obvious perhaps, the best advice if you're planning to go out, is to avoid anywhere you're not too familiar with and anywhere you wouldn't be comfortable by yourself, whether you're dressed male or female.

Stephanie

[Jeannie]

Hi Charla
I agree with That One,Stephanie W. If you feel uncomfortable don't do it. You will look like a criminal waiting to shoplift like everyone here in Waterbury. However there are very few people that will really come up to you and hassle you. They might give a doubletake or smile. I figure it makes a great story when they go home to their family.
If someone keeps staring at you just do what I do. Two things to say:

" What? Does something not match?"
or
" Hey Buddy! My clothes were all at the cleaners and I had to wear my wifes. You got a problem with that!"

Unless it's Dick Cheney you will be OK. Hugs.

Love
Auntie Jeannie

[KimberlyS]

Jeannie thanks for the morning laughs.

[Linda S]

Kendra Lynn,

I go out dressed on the DC Metro about once a week. I've never had a problem; in fact a few times people have asked me for directions with no hint of noticing anything unusual.

I do work very hard at passing, and I do try to dress in an attractive but appropriate way. It's such a wonderful feeling, so exciting (and a little scary) to be "out there" just like a real girl, with just my purse over my shoulder and no place to hide on a train or platform full of people. I might be wearing a short skirt and high-heeled boots; dressed like that I feel exposed, vulnerable, desirable and powerful, all at the same time. There's simply nothing like that experience.

One advantage CDs have is our first-hand knowledge of what guys like to see, and I put it to good use in selecting my outfits when I'm going out. I live for the occasional admiring glance I'll get from a man!

[Charla]

Wow All,

Thanks for all the very useful feedback! I was out for a while (knee surgery) so my hopes of going out in public have been put back a bit while re-learning how to walk!