Who Is The Girl Within
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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CherryLynn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:20 am
- Location: New Jersey
My Role model is Nichole Kidman-loved her in Moulin rouge and those sexy outfits she wore were to die for. I have been so much happier since coming out as Cherrylynn .
Just starting to explore my feminine nature- am very shy meek and demure. Addicted to looking and acting ladylike. Still have so many questions about exactly who I am- have so many mixed emotions about my gender issues.
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CherryLynn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:20 am
- Location: New Jersey
I read somewhere that even one simple act of kindness can make help change the world for the better.
Just starting to explore my feminine nature- am very shy meek and demure. Addicted to looking and acting ladylike. Still have so many questions about exactly who I am- have so many mixed emotions about my gender issues.
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Robyn Katie
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm
Erin, I understand your point better now. Thank you.
And the idea of a feminized biography is stunning. I had already started drafting something along those lines in response to your original post, but what you have said in subsequent posts is clarifying my ideas on the subject. I think your suggestion is one of the most important I've seen. Many of us might find going through that process illuminating.
Again, my thanks.
Love, Robyn Katie
And the idea of a feminized biography is stunning. I had already started drafting something along those lines in response to your original post, but what you have said in subsequent posts is clarifying my ideas on the subject. I think your suggestion is one of the most important I've seen. Many of us might find going through that process illuminating.
Again, my thanks.
Love, Robyn Katie
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Robyn Katie
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm
Hi Erin,
Well, I'm finding that writing down a feminized biography poses a lot of knotty questions! Enormous fun to try, but a big project, because the revelations are all in the detail, and that makes it long.
Looks like it will be a while before I can finish sorting out who I was/am/could have been as a female, and find ways to set it all down. When I do, I will be glad to share with you.
Just to give you an advance idea, though, my post of today (Dec 19) on another thread comes out of that same thought process. It may be of interest to you, as in it I take a stab at imagining what being female might have let me in for. Here's the URL:
http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 9&start=15
Love, Robyn Katie
Well, I'm finding that writing down a feminized biography poses a lot of knotty questions! Enormous fun to try, but a big project, because the revelations are all in the detail, and that makes it long.
Looks like it will be a while before I can finish sorting out who I was/am/could have been as a female, and find ways to set it all down. When I do, I will be glad to share with you.
Just to give you an advance idea, though, my post of today (Dec 19) on another thread comes out of that same thought process. It may be of interest to you, as in it I take a stab at imagining what being female might have let me in for. Here's the URL:
http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 9&start=15
Love, Robyn Katie
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Erin L
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 244
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:38 am
- Location: Queens, NY
Robyn Katie,
When I wrote, all I thought about was my experiences and what they might have been like had I been a girl. Unlike other things I've written, I didn't try to envision the entire thing before I started. I just let it flow.
I've been thinking - now that I know what my preconceptions were, and how and where they were off, it might actually be fun to try it again. And I just may do it.
Getting back to the other post, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't assume either that you would have been straight or lesbian. As you reach each new stage in your life, go where your emotions take you.
Hugs,
Erin
When I wrote, all I thought about was my experiences and what they might have been like had I been a girl. Unlike other things I've written, I didn't try to envision the entire thing before I started. I just let it flow.
I've been thinking - now that I know what my preconceptions were, and how and where they were off, it might actually be fun to try it again. And I just may do it.
Getting back to the other post, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't assume either that you would have been straight or lesbian. As you reach each new stage in your life, go where your emotions take you.
Hugs,
Erin
I'm not that kind of girl.
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Robyn Katie
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm
Getting back to "who is the woman within" ...
It’s true we do lay too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of what it would be like to be female. What and who a woman is depends on so much more: roles, friends, family, community, inner consciousness, work (career or not), struggles, worries, happinesses, sadnesses, everything that is a life in development from a baby girl through little girl, adolescent, woman throughout a long life to cronehood and death …
Erin, in the “Would you rather be a woman” thread, raised the question of a woman’s roles. Woman as “daughter, sister, very best friend in the whole wide world with X’s and O’s, girlfriend, lover, fiancé, bride, working mom.”
We could add cousin, playmate, aunt (including maiden aunt, “spinster,” the whole unflattering list of terms for describing a woman who remains unmarried, by choice or not), grandmother.
Also working roles. Women I’ve encountered and learned from include my very influential babysitter, schoolteachers, fellow students, editors, writers, engineers, scientists, librarians, scholars, at least one author, and in some cases mentors. Fellow bums on the road, singers, guitar players, partiers and hostesses of same. Social workers, psychologists, M.D.s. One very simpatico bank branch vice president of recent memory. Above all my amazing and wonderful wife. And many more.
These multiple roles, the interrelationships among them, are terribly important--especially as woman on average seem less loners, more network-oriented than men. (Imagine if it were left up to men to organize a harvest dance at school, or one of those church socials where the food is breaking the tables down. And I wonder, would I, a loner in my present life, like such socialness or not?)
So much to think about when we try to imagine being a woman, who is a whole world unto herself, just as a man is a whole world unto himself, and though the two overlap and intermingle, they still are strikingly different.
Thinking about the family roles Erin mentioned:
Daughter: Erin speaks of the greater closeness to her father she might have had. Guess I come at it from another direction, as my closeness to my father was too close, crossed too many lines, became sexual and I don’t want to go on from there. But thank goodness, it is possible to dream of how it might have been had I been a loving daughter with sex not in the picture. And my mother's daughter. Someone my parents might even have been proud of. And that's very heartening.
Sister: Being someone’s sister, even a sister's sister! How amazing to think of. I grew up in a two-boy family, my brother the youngest. Not only were we never close, I disliked him and alas, though I wish my feelings were otherwise, I still do. Imagine if he had been a girl. Or if we had both been girls. Sure, we still might have hated each other! But the potential for a loving relationship could have been greater. Just the thought of being siblings with somebody I loved and trusted is very powerful!
Very best friend in the whole wide world with X’s and O’s: What I said for the sisterly relationship goes double for female friendships. Granted they can include bickering, doublecrossing and stabs in the back, and there are many stories of girl friendships that went wrong. Still I have never seen anything quite like the delight girl children and adolescent girls take in each other, their fun, their whispered confidences and secrets, their mutual learning and interests, their giggles … face it, we boys missed nearly everything of the kind. We may have had close pals but nothing like what we saw happening between girls.
Girlfriend, Lover: Leaving sex out of it, I realize anew how much (at least in my experience) the girl in a relationship provides the freshness, brightness, eagerness, warmth and happiness for both. Looking on the bright side, overlooking meanness and sullenness … supplying tolerance, compassion, outgoingness, sympathy to a partner who so typically has few or none of these qualities. Acting as a prudent control on excess as the boy/man acts out his own conflicts … Wow. I think we ought to establish a Girlfriend Day.
Fiance, bride: As an “intended,” a young woman about to join my life with another’s, I’d think very differently about going to the altar. I feel that as a woman I might be starry-eyed and romantic as I am now, but I might also feel more profoundly, more heavily the burden of a lifetime to come, with its responsibilities, worries and needs. So much falls on the shoulders of a woman, whether in a traditional or a modern relationship. She so often seems to be the one keeping so much of the engagement/marriage afloat, on an even keel, forgiving and forgetting.
Mom, working mom: I can’t even begin to imagine what having, nursing and caring for a baby born from my very own body would be like. Or even whether I would like it or hate it. (In my male persona I don’t much care for children, but that might be very different were I female.) Perhaps I'd just take it for granted and pitch in like so many mothers do, without thinking much about it one way or the other. I can’t imagine how torn I might be, having to be separated from that child of my body to go earn mere money. On the other hand I’ve known enough moms who were desperate to get out of the house and away from the kids that maybe this takes care of itself!
Granted, I’ve known girls and women who rejected all these qualities, were selfish, abrupt, solitary, chilly, intolerant, unsympathetic, cynical … And good for them! Female character shouldn’t be a jail. But still it’s intriguing to imagine myself having the characters and characteristics given above.
Oops, another longie (please do excuse the length). Just a thought process in progress …
Love, Robyn Katie
It’s true we do lay too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of what it would be like to be female. What and who a woman is depends on so much more: roles, friends, family, community, inner consciousness, work (career or not), struggles, worries, happinesses, sadnesses, everything that is a life in development from a baby girl through little girl, adolescent, woman throughout a long life to cronehood and death …
Erin, in the “Would you rather be a woman” thread, raised the question of a woman’s roles. Woman as “daughter, sister, very best friend in the whole wide world with X’s and O’s, girlfriend, lover, fiancé, bride, working mom.”
We could add cousin, playmate, aunt (including maiden aunt, “spinster,” the whole unflattering list of terms for describing a woman who remains unmarried, by choice or not), grandmother.
Also working roles. Women I’ve encountered and learned from include my very influential babysitter, schoolteachers, fellow students, editors, writers, engineers, scientists, librarians, scholars, at least one author, and in some cases mentors. Fellow bums on the road, singers, guitar players, partiers and hostesses of same. Social workers, psychologists, M.D.s. One very simpatico bank branch vice president of recent memory. Above all my amazing and wonderful wife. And many more.
These multiple roles, the interrelationships among them, are terribly important--especially as woman on average seem less loners, more network-oriented than men. (Imagine if it were left up to men to organize a harvest dance at school, or one of those church socials where the food is breaking the tables down. And I wonder, would I, a loner in my present life, like such socialness or not?)
So much to think about when we try to imagine being a woman, who is a whole world unto herself, just as a man is a whole world unto himself, and though the two overlap and intermingle, they still are strikingly different.
Thinking about the family roles Erin mentioned:
Daughter: Erin speaks of the greater closeness to her father she might have had. Guess I come at it from another direction, as my closeness to my father was too close, crossed too many lines, became sexual and I don’t want to go on from there. But thank goodness, it is possible to dream of how it might have been had I been a loving daughter with sex not in the picture. And my mother's daughter. Someone my parents might even have been proud of. And that's very heartening.
Sister: Being someone’s sister, even a sister's sister! How amazing to think of. I grew up in a two-boy family, my brother the youngest. Not only were we never close, I disliked him and alas, though I wish my feelings were otherwise, I still do. Imagine if he had been a girl. Or if we had both been girls. Sure, we still might have hated each other! But the potential for a loving relationship could have been greater. Just the thought of being siblings with somebody I loved and trusted is very powerful!
Very best friend in the whole wide world with X’s and O’s: What I said for the sisterly relationship goes double for female friendships. Granted they can include bickering, doublecrossing and stabs in the back, and there are many stories of girl friendships that went wrong. Still I have never seen anything quite like the delight girl children and adolescent girls take in each other, their fun, their whispered confidences and secrets, their mutual learning and interests, their giggles … face it, we boys missed nearly everything of the kind. We may have had close pals but nothing like what we saw happening between girls.
Girlfriend, Lover: Leaving sex out of it, I realize anew how much (at least in my experience) the girl in a relationship provides the freshness, brightness, eagerness, warmth and happiness for both. Looking on the bright side, overlooking meanness and sullenness … supplying tolerance, compassion, outgoingness, sympathy to a partner who so typically has few or none of these qualities. Acting as a prudent control on excess as the boy/man acts out his own conflicts … Wow. I think we ought to establish a Girlfriend Day.
Fiance, bride: As an “intended,” a young woman about to join my life with another’s, I’d think very differently about going to the altar. I feel that as a woman I might be starry-eyed and romantic as I am now, but I might also feel more profoundly, more heavily the burden of a lifetime to come, with its responsibilities, worries and needs. So much falls on the shoulders of a woman, whether in a traditional or a modern relationship. She so often seems to be the one keeping so much of the engagement/marriage afloat, on an even keel, forgiving and forgetting.
Mom, working mom: I can’t even begin to imagine what having, nursing and caring for a baby born from my very own body would be like. Or even whether I would like it or hate it. (In my male persona I don’t much care for children, but that might be very different were I female.) Perhaps I'd just take it for granted and pitch in like so many mothers do, without thinking much about it one way or the other. I can’t imagine how torn I might be, having to be separated from that child of my body to go earn mere money. On the other hand I’ve known enough moms who were desperate to get out of the house and away from the kids that maybe this takes care of itself!
Granted, I’ve known girls and women who rejected all these qualities, were selfish, abrupt, solitary, chilly, intolerant, unsympathetic, cynical … And good for them! Female character shouldn’t be a jail. But still it’s intriguing to imagine myself having the characters and characteristics given above.
Oops, another longie (please do excuse the length). Just a thought process in progress …
Love, Robyn Katie
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Erin L
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 244
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:38 am
- Location: Queens, NY
Actually, Robyn Katie, I raised the point about the roles of a girl growing up only in the limited view of how that would influence the person I would become, specifically as it applied to sexual orientation. But I love what you've done with it.
And I agree with you that boys seem to miss much of the intensity of girl-friendship. Not that it isn't there - we just seemed to have been programmed to play it down. A few weeks ago, my Goddaughter got married. Her dad and I have been friends for over 45 years, but had seen little of each other in the last 10 (due to a falling out our wives had). When we first walked into the cocktail hour, we saw him, and naturally I went right over to him and shook his hand, and he immediately embraced me and told me how genuinely glad he was that we'd been able to make it. And in that moment I realized just how close we had been, and just how much we had both missed it.
And I agree with you that boys seem to miss much of the intensity of girl-friendship. Not that it isn't there - we just seemed to have been programmed to play it down. A few weeks ago, my Goddaughter got married. Her dad and I have been friends for over 45 years, but had seen little of each other in the last 10 (due to a falling out our wives had). When we first walked into the cocktail hour, we saw him, and naturally I went right over to him and shook his hand, and he immediately embraced me and told me how genuinely glad he was that we'd been able to make it. And in that moment I realized just how close we had been, and just how much we had both missed it.
I'm not that kind of girl.