I saw my therapist yesterday and told him I thought I was done with what I needed to do with therapy, at least for now. He agreed and said he has felt that way for a while. (I remember him telling me that, however at the time I did not agree with him, and kept going)
We talked some about how I can always come back, what next challenges might be expected (youngest daughter going away to college in a couple of years and the empty nest came up)
Talked some about the CDing. I commented that I thought he'd probably learned something from me and he said of course he had, with a subtext of he learns something from all his patients. But I guess that even in the world of psychiatric interactions with crossdressers I am a bit strange. Cool.....
I've said this before here but I want to reiterate that I found talking with him about this to be very helpful-he was the first person who ever presented this to me as something with positive connotations.
My clothing wasn't why I went to see him-it was about difficulty handling my daughters' transitions from child to teenage girls. But that's another story altogether.
Zari
therapy
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Robyn Katie
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm
Hi Absaroka,
Just had to share a story from the last days of my psychotherapy (not for CD/TG issues, but to resolve some serious aftershocks due to having been sexually abused as a child). This was about twenty years ago.
During the therapy the question of my CDing, and my female alter ego, had come up. In concluding, my therapist said, rather compassionately, that she expected I would find that my sense of a female self, and my desire to dress female, would dwindle as a result of therapy, and she hoped I wouldn't mind that.
In her caring way, she was implying that my CDing and feeling female must be linked to the internal conflicts we'd been working through, so I wouldn't "need" to do that nearly so much afterward ... maybe not at all.
Bemused, I said, "Oh, okay, we'll see," or something like that. Frankly I didn't think the two were related, and couldn't conceive that the desire would lessen, but I took it at face value.
Contrary to her opinion, though, ever since then my love of CDing and of being Robyn Katie has only grown by leaps and bounds ... I seem to have found out a great deal more about who I really am inside, and am happier and more content (and much less scared) expressing my female self than I used to be.
Now, I was extremely lucky to have the therapist I did. She was a highly perceptive, empathetic person and she did me lots of good! But her grasp didn't extend to gender identity, not then. She'd be far more aware of it now, but those were the 1980s.
So ... the pleasures, and limits, of psychotherapy. If anything, it put me more firmly on my feet, so I could put them in slingbacks and swoosh around in a skirt. She was a broadminded person, and I think she'd be tickled if she knew.
Love, Robyn Katie
Just had to share a story from the last days of my psychotherapy (not for CD/TG issues, but to resolve some serious aftershocks due to having been sexually abused as a child). This was about twenty years ago.
During the therapy the question of my CDing, and my female alter ego, had come up. In concluding, my therapist said, rather compassionately, that she expected I would find that my sense of a female self, and my desire to dress female, would dwindle as a result of therapy, and she hoped I wouldn't mind that.
In her caring way, she was implying that my CDing and feeling female must be linked to the internal conflicts we'd been working through, so I wouldn't "need" to do that nearly so much afterward ... maybe not at all.
Bemused, I said, "Oh, okay, we'll see," or something like that. Frankly I didn't think the two were related, and couldn't conceive that the desire would lessen, but I took it at face value.
Contrary to her opinion, though, ever since then my love of CDing and of being Robyn Katie has only grown by leaps and bounds ... I seem to have found out a great deal more about who I really am inside, and am happier and more content (and much less scared) expressing my female self than I used to be.
Now, I was extremely lucky to have the therapist I did. She was a highly perceptive, empathetic person and she did me lots of good! But her grasp didn't extend to gender identity, not then. She'd be far more aware of it now, but those were the 1980s.
So ... the pleasures, and limits, of psychotherapy. If anything, it put me more firmly on my feet, so I could put them in slingbacks and swoosh around in a skirt. She was a broadminded person, and I think she'd be tickled if she knew.
Love, Robyn Katie
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
I really like how when your therapist predicted that the crossdressing would decrease that she hoped you didn't mind.
Mine ebbs and flows. My therapist also predicted that it would decrease when my internal conflicts were more resolved. Inasmuch as they involve me lessening my isolation and CDing being a private thing, that may be true. But what has happened at the same time is a greater self acceptance which means less fear of discovery and less desire to stop. Funny when different things happen at the same time.
Zari
Mine ebbs and flows. My therapist also predicted that it would decrease when my internal conflicts were more resolved. Inasmuch as they involve me lessening my isolation and CDing being a private thing, that may be true. But what has happened at the same time is a greater self acceptance which means less fear of discovery and less desire to stop. Funny when different things happen at the same time.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,
Based on what I have learned not only in college psychology classes, but also from seeing therapists and psychiatrists, as well as the many people I have met here and other online forums, I conclude that one is about as likely to lose birth marks as they are their desire to crossdress, with the application of therapy.
Don't get me wrong, I benefited greatly from therapy and highly recommend it. I just believe that most of these doctors and therapists really don't understand this is a part of who we are. It's not something that goes away. The key is learning to accept this. That is what therapists "in the know" strive for.
Believing it will go away or lessen is the sign of an therapist inexperienced in cross gender identification, in my opinion.
Love always,
Elizabeth
Based on what I have learned not only in college psychology classes, but also from seeing therapists and psychiatrists, as well as the many people I have met here and other online forums, I conclude that one is about as likely to lose birth marks as they are their desire to crossdress, with the application of therapy.
Don't get me wrong, I benefited greatly from therapy and highly recommend it. I just believe that most of these doctors and therapists really don't understand this is a part of who we are. It's not something that goes away. The key is learning to accept this. That is what therapists "in the know" strive for.
Believing it will go away or lessen is the sign of an therapist inexperienced in cross gender identification, in my opinion.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Robyn Katie
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm
Yes, Elizabeth, and I bet that as time goes on, the proportion of therapists "in the know" will increase ... not least because some fraction of them are likely to be CD/TG themselves.
I've seen angry posts elsewhere condemning psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and other workers with the human mind. In a few "bad apple" cases where therapists' personalities or emotions have been negative, that is demonstrably just. But it casts an unfair pall over a field where a lot of good work is being done by a lot of talented people.
I've had two psychotherapists, not a large sample, but both were outstanding, bright, adaptable, sincerely committed to my interests. Both were women, but very different in every other way (I specifically avoided having a male therapist—I have issues with males that would make therapy really hard). Both were highly perceptive and inductive, not hidebound or dogmatic. The differences were in personality. The later one's warmth and ability to work with me in my own terms was uncannily good, and I have sincere affection and respect for her and for what she did.
Psychotherapy, like many disciplines, is slow to change. I saw the field at the point where it was waking up from decades of denying that child sexual abuse existed except as an aberration. Many therapists even in the 80s were denying it was more than that. Pioneers in the 80s were saying what seems to be true: that it is widespread in the general population and always has been. Ten years earlier, the career of any therapist saying that would have been DOA.
Equally with crossdressing and other transgender desires. Transsexuals, because of their evident need, have already made great headway in "converting" psychotherapists to understanding and effective treatment. The rest of us TGs and CDs will surely follow.
I confidently predict that by 2015, barring any huge reversal, psychotherapy will be dealing broadly, empathetically and appropriately with TG issues across the board. The better therapists already are.
As for crossdressing, it probably won't come up for treatment much, since it will be regarded as what it is: harmless behavior somewhere within the range of accepted "normalcy."
Now, Absaroka, I apologize for drifting your thread so. Back on track now!
Love, Robyn Katie
I've seen angry posts elsewhere condemning psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and other workers with the human mind. In a few "bad apple" cases where therapists' personalities or emotions have been negative, that is demonstrably just. But it casts an unfair pall over a field where a lot of good work is being done by a lot of talented people.
I've had two psychotherapists, not a large sample, but both were outstanding, bright, adaptable, sincerely committed to my interests. Both were women, but very different in every other way (I specifically avoided having a male therapist—I have issues with males that would make therapy really hard). Both were highly perceptive and inductive, not hidebound or dogmatic. The differences were in personality. The later one's warmth and ability to work with me in my own terms was uncannily good, and I have sincere affection and respect for her and for what she did.
Psychotherapy, like many disciplines, is slow to change. I saw the field at the point where it was waking up from decades of denying that child sexual abuse existed except as an aberration. Many therapists even in the 80s were denying it was more than that. Pioneers in the 80s were saying what seems to be true: that it is widespread in the general population and always has been. Ten years earlier, the career of any therapist saying that would have been DOA.
Equally with crossdressing and other transgender desires. Transsexuals, because of their evident need, have already made great headway in "converting" psychotherapists to understanding and effective treatment. The rest of us TGs and CDs will surely follow.
I confidently predict that by 2015, barring any huge reversal, psychotherapy will be dealing broadly, empathetically and appropriately with TG issues across the board. The better therapists already are.
As for crossdressing, it probably won't come up for treatment much, since it will be regarded as what it is: harmless behavior somewhere within the range of accepted "normalcy."
Now, Absaroka, I apologize for drifting your thread so. Back on track now!
Love, Robyn Katie
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
Not a problem Robyn, I mostly wanted to post to say I was done, but I liked where the discussion went. I particularly liked your last point, that CDing will become more of a non issue. Although that will also require greater acceptance in society. Any therapist will say that secrets that you are ashamed of can make you nuts, and currently cding still has that status for many. The problem is not the cding itself, but the feelings of shame, and also perhaps a feeling of loss of control if one tries to stop and cannot.
But yes the succesful addressing of my issues in this area made it a non issue which I am now freer to enjoy.
Zari
But yes the succesful addressing of my issues in this area made it a non issue which I am now freer to enjoy.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon