April Rose wrote:Tell your dad that you need an allowance so you can learn to manage money. I'll bet he will go for it.
Good call, playing the 'responsibility' angle, I hear parents eat that stuff up now, what with all you see on the news about kids running wild these days anymore.
-Michelle-
"Inside me, there's a thin girl, screaming to get out, but cookies & ice cream usually shut her right up."
I understand your situation. I grew up poor and spent a good part of my life in a small town in Wyoming. I earned money shoveling sidewalks in the winter and washing cars, mowing lawns, pulling weeds, etc to earn money. At age 12 I worked illegally for a restaurant as a dishwasher for $1.10 an hour cash, paid each night at the end of the shift.
However, having money did not change the fact that it was impossible for me to buy women's clothes without someone I knew finding out. There were only a few stores and my family as well as all of my extended family shopped there regularly. There was a JC Penny, FW Woolworth, Yellow Front(the walmart of our day) and Gibsons. There was no way I was going to buy women's clothes and not get caught.
So I borrowed clothes. My room was in the basement which had no dividing walls. There was also a shower, water heater, furnace, and of course the washer and dryer. Many times clothes my stay in the dryer or on top of the dryer for days. I would "borrow" the clothes I wanted, usually panties, and wear them. Then I would return them to the laundry where they would be washed and returned to their rightful owner.
I also developed another system. I would pay attention to when my sister cleaned her room and threw out clothes. I would sneak out late at night, go through the garbage bags she had set out and take what I wanted. Taking what someone else throws out is not stealing.
So perhaps you could find out when your cousin throws out clothes, or offer to take them to "Goodwill" or the "Salvation Army". You could then pick out what you want, then drop off the rest.
Other possible options include confiding in your cousin or even perhaps your aunt who might coordinate with you when your cousin is disposing of clothing you might want.
I know the urge is overwhelming and you probably feel compelled to steal not because you are a bad person, but because you have such a strong desire to wear the clothes. I understand that feeling and I don't condemn you because of those strong compulsions. However, if you do not learn to control these compulsions now, it could lead to stealing from other places where the consequences could be much higher.
Part of accepting who and what we are, is accepting that the compulsions can be overwhelming. Because of that, one must make firm rules for themselves. Not just because stealing is wrong, but because it will cause you to have a lower opinion of yourself. It will lower your self esteem. It's saying "I can't get this on my own". And I for one don't believe that. I believe you can get what you want honestly and that will make living with yourself a whole lot easier.
