Casual dress

[Anthony Simon]

I agree with Paula. Like I said in my "So I was looking at what women were wearing today" thread, really the vast proportion of women (?80%) seem to wear trousers when shopping around where I live. It's also true that wearing a dress or skirt makes me feel a whole lot more feminine - and that feeling tends to bring out the women in me and so, I guess, increases my passability.

When Jacqueline says:

The whole point, for me, at least, for crossdressing is to look like a woman -- not like a man. A man wears pants and shirts. So, anything that will make me look 180 degrees different from that is what I wear. That is why I only wear dresses....I like to look like a lady when I go out of the house in the real world.

Isn't there an element of idealization? I mean not so many women out there try to look like "a lady". Like that's an ideal for a woman, to be a lady, rather than something you see lots and lots of out there.

[DeeDee]

Hi all. I was a member of the skirts or dresses crowd for years, but when I started to get out, I saw the need for casual attire. After all…if ya wanna blend…ya gotta do what the girls do. When I was in Key West (8 days enfemme….swoon), we did a number of touristy things. When we went to the Dry Tortugas and Ft Jefferson (a two hour boat trip), I wore a ladies polo and jeans, sandals and everything else a girl would. Try climbing ancient ramparts and fortifications in a skirt. Believe me, after the clubs, etal….certain activities require casual attire. In the meantime, I encourage everyone to open that front door, take the first steps and see what happens next, but don’t say never to anything!!!! Good luck all!
Hugs
DeeDee

[Jacqueline Landau]

Isn't there an element of idealization? I mean not so many women out there try to look like "a lady". Like that's an ideal for a woman, to be a lady, rather than something you see lots and lots of out there.

But of course, there is an element of idealization! I ran into this discussion many times with many girls all over the web. While I agree that pants are worn by many, many women today, I chose not wear them. Wearing those lovely dresses that I have in my wardrobe is a fantastic feeling. Of course, I am sensitive to social attitudes and the risk I run by not fitting in the expected mold but, to me, that is a risk well-worth taking. I don't care if people read me more that way because I, presumably, stick out more out of the crowd. I like to think that my wearing dresses is a choice I consciously make to please me, Jacqueline Landau, first and foremost. Call me crazy. Too bad for those that are offended by my dressing up as a woman in public.

I realize that many girls wear what women wear out of a desire to meld with the crowd and I agree that is a good thing. But I will not compromise on my pleasure for fear of fitting in less. Dresses are what best represent my mental image of the beautiful woman I see myself as.

[Anthony Simon]

Isn't there an element of idealization? I mean not so many women out there try to look like "a lady". Like that's an ideal for a woman, to be a lady, rather than something you see lots and lots of out there.

But of course, there is an element of idealization! I ran into this discussion many times with many girls all over the web.

And not just on the web. That accusation was originally thrown at me by a woman working in a CD shop - like that was the sum total of what CDs do, attempt to live up to some idealisation of a woman.

While I agree that pants are worn by many, many women today, I chose not wear them. Wearing those lovely dresses that I have in my wardrobe is a fantastic feeling. Of course, I am sensitive to social attitudes and the risk I run by not fitting in the expected mold but, to me, that is a risk well-worth taking. I don't care if people read me more that way because I, presumably, stick out more out of the crowd.

I'm not at the stage of having gone out (and I'm taking it real slow!). I'm really only now starting to get seriously thinking I'm going to do it. I have lots of issues to do with passablity and just exactly what I'm getting into, so my set-up is different from yours. I want to get myself in a frame where I can feel OK (maybe) this looks passably feminine and I'm not going to stick out. Mostly I'm trying to get myself mentally in a spot where there's a possibility of me feeling relaxed when I go out (if...). If that does happen it might be that I'll lighten up later, but for the moment the big thing on my mind is reducing the amount of attention I draw.

I like to think that my wearing dresses is a choice I consciously make to please me, Jacqueline Landau, first and foremost. Call me crazy. Too bad for those that are offended by my dressing up as a woman in public.

Actually I'd call you brave, except that's not a girl's name.

I realize that many girls wear what women wear out of a desire to meld with the crowd and I agree that is a good thing. But I will not compromise on my pleasure for fear of fitting in less. Dresses are what best represent my mental image of the beautiful woman I see myself as.

FWIW, as a guy (Jewish) I'm forever trying not to stand out from the crowd (Jewish diaspora thing: Don't make trouble). It has been working incredibly badly lately. God knows what sort of attention I'm going to get if I go out dressed up as a woman.

[Anna]

Hi Anthony.

God knows what sort of attention I'm going to get if I go out dressed up as a woman.

I think we all worry about that.

Anna x

[Anthony Simon]

Hi Anna.

The way I think about it is like the CDing thing is a drive. Like, sooner or later, it's going to go "now you have to go out" - or it won't. Because that's how it's always worked with me, this dirty great powerful thing that brooks no opposition (or only does so under enormous duress). So, if that's the case, at some point, I'm going to find that I really need to go out or be driven up the wall.

Then it actually would turn into "a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do" and, theoretically, it'll take care of the worry (which has happened to me on other occasions). But I still kind of have to do the work, get myself into the right mental space.

[Dolores(GG)]

The idea that "Why wear pants? I want to look like a woman!" is a bit silly to me, sorry. Whether you dress up or down, it all depends on the place and situation. I like dressing up and looking nice, I like being frumpy and none of it makes me less of a woman. As a GG, it is somewhat...I dont want to say offensive because it's not that strong...but I am a woman no matter what I wear- a garbage bag or a frilly pink dress. And obviously CD revolves around the dress, but moreso the attitude. You can put any man in a dress, but that doesn't give him the grace a CDer possesses. You can put my mother in jeans and she still looks like the classiest lady in the world. I dont think it is what you wear but HOW that makes the biggest difference between femme and drab.

[Wendae]

We all have a mental image of how we want to look and feel. It is real unfortunate that some of what we would love to wear in public would more then likely attract unwanted attention. I personally love a clean shaven body, silky underclothes, a great make up job, and great looking clothes and shoes. Not to mention smelling good. There is a time and place for that and Walmart ain't it. I now get some satisfaction dressing in slacks or jeans by blending in but it's not what I deeply desire. I think in most cases those of us that don't dress 24/7 don't mind the time and effort it takes for a good presentation. Staying in the house isn't my idea of a great time. If I were a GG or dressing 24/7 it would be a real chore. Just to kick around or run chores It's just easier jump into a pair of jeans and a pull over and get going. Anyway, in the interests of reducing my stress levels I have lowered my standards in order to enjoy the freedom of being in public.

[Paula G]

I agree with Delores, on Saturday I was out, I was wearing jeans cuban heeled boots, a black and white floral shirt and denim jacket. It was what was in the clothes that made them feminine, I wear exactly these same outer garments, in the same combination sometimes when I am my male me as well as the female me. there's a head and shoulder photo here http://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.co.uk ... cians.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A nice dress high heels and all that makes me feel great, but I can still feel just as feminine in jeans.