getting caught

[Sara Wilson]

My worst nightmare happened last sunday. My wife is heading off to her friends for a couple of hours so I get a chance to dress again, so I dig out my stash and and get dressed. Now I'm pottering around the kitchen cleaning upland I hear the front door open. At this point I know the games up so I quickly take off my stuff and put my boxers on.

She walks into the kitchen and asks where's my jeans, looks on the table and spots womens clothes and goes mad, who's here she asks then I explain what I've been up to the whole time we've been married. She storms out but comes back in 20 minutes.

We talk, why and how long I've done this for as she tries to get her head around it. Then after an hour or so she says the thing that hurt her most is that I couldn't talk to her about it.

Now she doesn't want to see me dressed which I fully understand but she has been fantastic since and our marriage seems to be better than ever. She even sorted some of her old stuff after teasing my about how naff my dress sense is. Just wished I had been caught or come out of the closet earlier.

[Carol Ann]

Well now seems to me she is interested seeing as she has given you some cloths.

Now I believe in time she will not be able to take it and will want to see you dressed, then the real fun can start

[Anthony Simon]

... after an hour or so she says the thing that hurt her most is that I couldn't talk to her about it.

That seems the key, and my instincts are that you should just be open with her from now on. You do seem like a pretty isolated person (anyway about the CDing) and it would be good to have someone so close to talk to.

[Davita]

Getting caught is not always the best approach... that said, now that you have been:

• go with the flow

• don't rush her

• don't make promises you can't keep

• don't be ashamed

• as stated earlier, be honest (but not to a fault)

• try not to get caught too often

[Ralitsa]

what she said.

Davita is right. You're lucky that your wife is cool with it right now, but don't push it.
And her attidude towards it may evolve over time, just as your feelings about it have evolved over the years.

[Wendae]

!!!yes!!!Be Patient. I believe it is an unusual woman that can accept it right off and be the partner we all wish for. But if she is hanging in there you may be one of the lucky ones with an understanding wife.

[RebeccaF]

Blimey - I bet that's a day you won't forget in a loooooong time!

As long as you're talking, you're halfway home. And to your wife for not blowing a fuse.

xx Becca xx

[Kittie]

I was caught out with a bra but later told the full story. It was Ok

[Mikaela]

This is going to continue to go well....just take your time...congrats on the reveal...even if it was accidental.

[Paula G]

Rejoice, you are very lucky. I was caught, I often think that I allowed myself to get caught rather than make the admission, however it did not and has not gone well. Three years later I am beginning to gain some (very small) level of acceptance, I think, but we cannot talk about this, and certainly cannot share any of the experience.

So while it can work out, I would not recommend this a strategy for coming out. It has cast a shadow over our 20 year marriage, I do not know if I had come out to my wife if it would have been any better, but it certainly could not have been any worse. Like the ladies say, take it steady and don't push.

[Ashley Rose]

best of luck with this in the future, but I will echo all the girls here who are out to their wives,SO's, BABY STEPS...ALWAYS BABY STEPS. If she drives the train faster, all the better for you. If not, then take it as it comes. Again, I'm so happy for you. My wife supports me to the max so I am one of the lucky ones.