So, for many reasons not related to crossdressing, my wife has decided it's time to end the relationship. After everything we've been through during the last 13 years, I just can't find it in myself to fight for it. She' made it very clear that she is done. We'll be staying together for a while, since neither of us can afford to live on our own, but the marriage is over.
The good part is, I am SOOO looking forward to being able to dress how I want, when I want, without having to hide it - at least around the house (might even brave going out sometime). I've never had that opportunity, and I can't wait.
Anyway, I just had to share with someone and the internet seemed a good place to start.
Hi Michaela--
You've made the decision not to contest your wife's intentions, so now it's a question of how to live together in a new way. That can be hard, as I had to do that once--share the house for two to three months, even though we were no longer a couple. We lived on separate floors in the house, but had terrible fights in the common areas where we couldn't avoid each other. It is hard to watch the other person begin to do things which they couldn't or wouldn't do while they were with you, so I would just put in a word of caution. You're not a couple, but you've got history as a couple, and you also have to process some feelings about the break-up. Even if it wasn't working, it still is something you invested thirteen years on, and there are feelings around that. What kind, or how you experience them, would be unique to you, but I would suspect they'll be there, for both of you. So you might still need to take it easy, until the two of you are really separated and in different places.
Thanks, Anita. I know it will be difficult, but we aren't to the point of screaming and fighting in the kitchen. We are doing our best to remain friends, if only for the sake of our daughter. Aside from the money issue, I think it will be an amicable parting, but there is a lot of history there - both good and bad. It's hard to let all of that go. She's still the first one I want to tell things to, and I think she feels the same about me most of the time. She feels that she deserves more than I can give her, and I have to agree. I am starting to feel the same. I've seen how some of the girls here have super-supportive SOs and I find myself a little jealous. Don't we all deserve someone who will accept and support us for who and what we are?
Yes, we all deserve someone who will accept and support us for who and what we are, and similarly, they deserve to have a life they can live with. The reality is, however, that in many relationships there has to be compromise, as long as it isn't suffocating.
Honey, I've been a cross-dresser since I was about 9 or 10. I'm nearly 61 now and have been with my current wife for 15 years next month; married 14 years in may. I just told the only person who has ever known 6 months ago. It was her. (Mama Bear). I never evpected it to be this way. check some of my previous posts and see the progress. It doesn't always work this way. Congrats on your new found freedom. be cautious. Remember...Caution is always better than confession. Hugs. Keep us posted.
This dude loves being a girl!!!
Peace, Love, Kisses & Hugs
Ashley Rose
Same here, Ashley. Started very young. Kept it hidden most of that time, other than being caught once or twice by the parents. I'm so jealous that you have someone that's supportive. I hope someday I can find that, although I doubt I will ever get married again. I think a good GG friend would be just the ticket.
Hi -- I don't post on this site very often but I have seen a lot of marriages come and go from work. My key to understanding what couple can do starts with what do they HAVE to share. If it is children it is one story and this will be very difficult.
Possessions and a home another, much more easier to address. If you both work and you both must share a conventional single family dwelling, I would think your new freedom is old new by now. Six weeks later, how's it going? You've got me curious.
Well, things are in a holding pattern. I'm sleeping in the basement, which has worked out great, as I can dress pretty much every night if I want. I'm still very sensitive to her feelings, as I know she doesn't want to see me dressed, so I usually wait until she's in bed. All in all, not the ideal situation, but better than it could be, and I have more freedom than some, so I'm thankful.
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out... But I'm elated to hear that you've more freedom lately with how & when you want to dress That can make a world of difference I think!! I thought, from an SO stance, that I wouldn't like to see my CDer in the "attire" so to speak... But turns out I did, I didn't mind it at all... In fact I was really thrilled that he wanted to share something so closely guarded for him with me! I guess my point is... We never really really know how we'll react to something until we react to it
Question how does a girl who falls, no actually jumps eyes wide open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out unchanged?
Answer, she doesn't. - Little Black Book
Maybe you two can sit and talk about it... Just let her know that her reaction might be good, or indifferent, not necessarily bad. I just hate to know you're out but unable to share yourself completely with someone so close
Never know, she might say sure walk around however you want!
Question how does a girl who falls, no actually jumps eyes wide open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out unchanged?
Answer, she doesn't. - Little Black Book
Yeah, we've had that little talk. Several times, actually. It doesn't usually end well. She was more willing to talk about it earlier in the relationship, but I wasn't ready. Now that I've come to accept it as a part of who I am and not just a fetish (which she believes it is), it appears to be too little, too late (her words, not mine). We also have a 9-year-old daughter that the wife doesn't want to know about all this. I have to respect that, so walking around however I want is not really an option until I get my own place.
I've just started going to a support group (in drab, unfortunately) and at least she's good with that. Baby steps, I suppose. I don't see the relationship being saved, but a non-hostile co-existence might be possible.
Thanks for the feedback!
I don't know, not to be flip or anything, but this sounds like one of those tennis doubles type relationships where each partner is waiting for the other to play the (very difficult) ball - and neither does (well it was very difficult, so maybe there was no point).
Socrates: The highest wisdom is to know that you know nothing.
I've been following another post on another CD site that gets more into the serious side of our alternative reality. And that's what it is. As opposed to strictly defined LGBTs, CDs are an anomaly. We are unusual. We are the "Other" in a check list, when gender is concerned.
After surviving a 5 month Pink Fog, I opine that any information on CD sites about a good coming out relationship with a wife is extraordinary. These are often the girls who have posted thousands of time, not the newbie.
I could never dress in front of my wife. I alway wear pantyhose (prescribed for blood circulation), I'm shaven (it's glorious) and I have a large suitcase full of great clothes that I can wear whenever I want but I can't dress in front of my wife. For me it would be abandoning the marriage and the promises I made to my wife and step daughter. But that's me.
For me the alternative is do it right and move to San Francisco or Greece or somewhere far away. I can't do that. But that's just me. I find love on the CD sites but I cannot share CD reality with most people. At least now. A fact of life now for me.
